Sorta Fairytale
by Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Summary: Ashley and Spencer have been married for ten years, they both have successful careers and two beautiful children, here's their story
1. Once Upon A Time

**Usual Disclaimer, I don't own the characters and am just borrowing them**

**So here is a new fic I started during my Christmas break. Let me know what you think.**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter One – Once Upon A Time**

Ashley Davies groaned as the alarm clock on the nightstand next to her bed started playing some obnoxious disposable pop singer that would be out of fashion in about ten minutes. She flung her hand out and shut off the alarm before snuggling back down under the covers with a satisfied grumble. She was about to go back to sleep to try and get back to the rather dirty dream she had been having when the sound of musical laughter hit her ears.

She pushed the covers back off her face and looked over to the doorway to her bedroom. There stood her wife of just over ten years, Spencer Carlin-Davies. Spencer had her arms crossed over her chest and an amused grin on her face as she leaned against the doorframe. The sunlight that spilled in through the large windows of their bedroom bathed Spencer in a golden light that was reflecting in her long blonde hair. Spencer was dressed for work in a pair of tailored black pants, a dark purple halter-neck top and black high heels, Ashley thought she looked beautiful.

"What's wrong Baby? Did that nasty alarm clock wake you up?" Spencer teased with a smirk on her full lips and a twinkle in her ocean blue eyes.

Ashley grinned and beckoned her wife closer with her finger. Spencer continued to smirk as she wandered over to her wife's side of the bed. She stood just out of her wife's reach earning her a pout and a groan. "Spencer, come back to bed! It's far too early to be up, come on I'll totally make it worth your while," Ashley said with a wink.

Spencer laughed and sat on the side of the bed. Ashley moved so that she could rest her head on Spencer's thigh. "Baby I'd love nothing more than to come back to bed with you and let you do whatever you want to my body but I have two kids down stairs who need to be gotten ready for school so I can't. Plus you have to get up and go to work my Love," Spencer murmured lovingly before she leaned over and kissed her wife adoringly on the lips.

Ashley pouted and sat up so she could pull her wife in for a deeper and more passionate kiss. "Hmmm now that's a good morning kiss," Ashley said as she rested her forehead against Spencer's.

"MmmHmm, I'll say. Now get that gorgeous ass of yours up so you're not late for work!" Spencer slipped out of Ashley's arms and headed out of the room. She heard her wife mutter, "tease," as she walked down the hall. Spencer shook her head and smiled, even after ten years of marriage, three years of dating and two kids her wife was still a horn dog. Ashley would always have he libido of a fifteen year old boy, a fact that Spencer kinda loved about her.

Spencer wandered into the kitchen just in time to stop her seven year old daughter from throwing a spoonful of cereal at her five year old brother. "Hannah Ashley Davies if you dare throw that cereal at your brother there will be hell to pay!" Spencer warned as she walked in. _Oh God I sound just like my mother, someone shoot me now!_ Spencer thought to herself.

"Sorry Mommy," Hannah said ducking her head in shame so that her long blonde hair fell in a curtain around her face. Spencer smiled over at her daughter, who was a miniature version of herself and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"It's ok Baby Girl, just be nice to your brother ok?" Spencer took a seat at the table with her kids and beamed lovingly at them both. Hannah nodded and tucked into her cereal.

"Hey Lucas you ok little buddy?" Spencer asked as she affectionately ruffled her son's dark blonde hair that refused to sit neatly no matter what Spencer did to it.

Lucas grinned at her and nodded as he chewed on a much too big mouthful of cereal and milk. Spencer chuckled and took a drink from her cup. God she loved her family.

Ashley stood in the doorway to the kitchen just watching her wife and kids interact. Her family filled her with so much joy and love she felt like she could burst. She grinned to herself as she watched the three blue-eyed blondes eating their breakfast. Both children were biologically Spencer's. Ashley had refused point blank to biologically parent their children, explaining that why would she want children with her messed up genes when she could get kids just like her wife.

Spencer must have felt herself being watched because she raised her eyes and gave her wife a blinding smile. Ashley beamed back and walked into the kitchen, "Good morning my darlings, how are you guys this morning?"

"Momma!" Lucas squealed as he raced over to hug her. Lucas really was a Momma's boy at heart.

Ashley swept her son up in her arms and gave him a tight hug, "Morning little buddy! You almost ready for school?"

"Yeah Momma, just gotta go brush my teeth," Lucas said with a huge grin.

"Well go to it little buddy," Ashley said with a teasing smile. Lucas giggled and ran from the room to go finish getting ready.

"Good morning Princess," Ashley said as she planted a kiss on Hannah's forehead.

"Morning Momma," Hannah said with a smile before running off to get ready herself.

Spencer smiled fondly after her daughter, "We really need to teach those kids that running is not the only speed they can use."

Ashley laughed as she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down beside her wife, "Yeah good luck with that one Babe."

Spencer chuckled as she leaned over to share a tender kiss with her wife. Spencer took Ashley's left hand in hers and gently stroked her fingers over her wife's wedding band. Ashley smiled down at their joined hands and sighed in contentment. Life had truly been good to her.

"Ok Beautiful I'm going to go finish getting ready so I can drive the kids to school. I love you Ash," Spencer murmured as she got up from her chair. She went to walk away only to be stopped when Ashley stood up and pulled her into her arms to kiss her hungrily.

Breaking apart to draw in some air, Ashley whispered breathlessly, "I love you too my Darling."

Spencer kissed her wife on her adorably crinkled nose and headed off to finish getting ready. Ashley sunk back into her seat to finish her coffee and to skim the paper (well the entertainment section anyway).

Ashley had finished the paper and was half way through her bagel when Spencer and the kids came back downstairs to head off into the world. Spencer had now added a black blazer to her outfit, had her bag slung over her shoulder and her Gucci sunglasses sitting on top of her head. Ashley put down her half eaten bagel and stood up to say good bye to her family for the day.

First she pulled Hannah into a warm hug, "have a wonderful day at school Princess and I'll see you tonight." Hannah grinned and kissed her on the cheek.

Next Ashley knelt down so that she could hug their son, "Ok Luke, be good and have a great day little man." Lucas gave her a high five and raced over to pick up his backpack.

Ashley got to her feet and pulled her wife into her arms, with Spencer in heels Ashley was able to rest her cheek against her wife's chest without having to lean down. She rested her ear over Spencer heart, loving the way her wife's heart rate sped up as she ran her hands over Spencer's back, "Ok Gorgeous good luck with that meeting with the studio today I'm sure you'll knock em dead, how can they resist your charm, I know I never have been able to."

Spencer was working as a feature film director and was much sort after. She had begun her career doing work at MTV and then moved onto to documentaries, music videos and short indie films. She had then directed a self-funded independent film about a lesbian couple and the prejudice they faced. That film had won countless awards and gotten Spencer noticed in Hollywood. Now four years later she pretty much had her pick of productions to work on.

Spencer was meeting with New Line Cinema to discuss her directing one of their new productions, a film adaptation of a book that had practically achieved cult status in its first week on sale. It was a huge deal and would mean a lot of money and prestige. This film was already predicted to generate some Oscar buzz.

"Thanks Baby, I'll give you a call and let you know how it all goes, if I get time I think we're going to be crazy busy today, after the meeting I'll be in the edit bay the rest of the afternoon. Oh and good luck with your meeting with Ethan and the execs today I know you'll be great," Spencer said with a huge smile.

Ashley was the president of her own record label, Raife Records (named in memory of her father who had died when she was 17) which she had started about six years earlier with the help of her father's former manager. The label had started off a little rocky but had soon found its feet and since then had built a reputation for making great music and for giving struggling young artists a chance.

That morning Ashley was meeting with Ethan Marks who used to work with her father and who had given her a start in the industry as a songwriter when she was eighteen. They were in discussions about setting up another office of the label in New York so that they could get some new talent from the other side of the country. It was a huge investment and a bit of a gamble, but most of the successes in her life had come from taking risks, her marriage to the most beautiful, wonderful woman included.

"Thank you Gorgeous, I'll see you tonight. Love you all," Ashley beamed as she looked at her family.

"Love you too, ok troops lets move out!" with a final smile at her wife Spencer ushered their kids out of the house. Ashley chuckled happily as she watched her wife and children leave for their day and then she happened to glance at the clock.

"Oh shit!" she muttered as she raced up the stairs to get ready before she ended up being late for her meeting, which so wouldn't be the first time.

After hauling some serious ass Ashley made it to work just in time to start the meeting, although she did notice half way into the meeting that she was wearing her shirt inside out. She just hoped nobody else noticed, so she undid an extra button. _There, that'll distract them, _she thought with a self-satisfied smirk.

The rest of the meeting flew by with several of the men and women present getting caught staring at Ashley's cleavage, much to their embarrassment and her amusement, _Yeah that's right, I'm almost 31 and I still got it!_ Ashley though to herself smugly.

Once the meeting was over and Ashley was sitting comfortably in her large, stylish office she glanced over at one of the many photos sitting on her desk. It was a family photo that had been taken during their last Christmas at Spencer's parent's house. Spencer was sitting on the floor with Lucas on her lap and Hannah leaning against her while Ashley sat behind her on the couch with Spencer's head resting on her knee.

None of them had been aware that the photo was being taken, Spencer mother, Paula had snapped the photo and presented it to them a few days later. Ashley really did love her in-laws, now that Paula had decided she wasn't the devil sent to corrupt her daughter.

Smiling to herself Ashley picked up the phone to call her beautiful wife.

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	2. A Night With The Davies

**Usual Disclaimer – I do not own the SoN Characters**

**Thanks to all who have read, reviewed, favourited and/or added this story to their alerts, it means a lot.**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Two – A Night With The Davies**

Ashley opened the front door and let herself into the house, she was exhausted. It had been a long day of endless meetings and recording sessions where nothing seemed to go right. All that had kept her going all day was the thought of coming home to her family.

She deposited her bag and jacket on the hallstand before following the smell of her wife's delicious cooking into the kitchen. Spencer had inherited her father's talent for cooking, which made him so proud.

Ashley paused in the door way and grinned at the sight of her daughter doing her homework at the table while Lucas tried to help Spencer in the kitchen, probably being more of a hindrance than a help. Hannah caught sight of Ashley and went to greet her when Ashley held a finger to her lips and grinned cheekily before pointing to Spencer. Hannah giggled quietly and pretended to zip her lips.

Ashley stepped out of her heels and crept silently across the floor. Just as she was about to grab her wife around the waist Spencer spun around and said, "Gotcha!" Ashley jumped like a mile in the air and clutched at her chest.

"Jesus Spencer way to give me a heart attack!" She gasped.

Spencer chuckled, "Oh yeah, like you were about to give me? Sorry Darling but you just can't sneak up on me, I always know when you're there," Spencer's smirk softened into a loving smile as she leaned forward and kissed her wife tenderly.

Ashley grinned as she circled Spencer's waist with her arms, "So you always know when I'm around huh?"

Spencer tilted her head and smiled, "Yeah I do. It's like I can feel you, I always know when you're near me."

Ashley beamed and kissed her wife again before scooping Lucas up in her arms, making him squeal with excitement, "Come on little man let's leave Mommy to get dinner ready and go get washed up. You too Hannah, time to get washed up for dinner."

Hannah jumped up and took her little brother's hand once Ashley set him down. They ran from the room hand in hand to get cleaned up for dinner. Ashley picked up Hannah's homework and began setting the table. They made it a habit to have a family sit down dinner most nights. It was a habit Spencer had picked up from her parents and one that Ashley was happy to indulge.

Ashley had just finished setting the table when Spencer carried in plates piled high with spaghetti and salad. Once each place setting had a plate of food and a glass of water Spencer went to get the kids.

Ashley got the homemade garlic bread out of the oven and put it on a plate before taking her seat at the table. Spencer came back in with the kids and they all sat down to eat. One tradition Ashley was glad Spencer had not gotten from her parents was saying grace, every dinner at her in-laws started with grace and it never stopped making Ashley feel awkward. She thought it was a flashback to the time Paula made her say grace the first time she'd had dinner at their place. That had been one traumatizing blessing!

Once everyone was eating Spencer turned to her wife and asked, "So Baby how did the meeting go this morning?"

"Well besides the fact I noticed about halfway through that I had my top on inside out, it went great. We agreed on a location for the New York office and I got Ethan to agree to be the managing director for that office. It's all pretty exciting, but will mean a few trips to New York over the next couple of months to get things set up, which I'm not too happy about, I hate being away from you and the kids," Ashley explained with a slight frown.

Spencer smiled kindly at her wife, "That's ok Baby, we'll miss you while you're gone but it won't for too long and hey maybe one time we'll even come with you so I can see Lily and I can show the kids New York." Spencer's former mentor and longtime friend, Lily Zee, had been living in New York for a few years now.

"That sounds great Honey, what do you two think? Would you like to go to New York in a few months?" Ashley asked her kids with a grin.

"Oh really? We can go? Momma I wanna see the Knicks!" Lucas said with a huge smile, he had inherited his love of basketball from his uncle Glen and was showing some real talent for the game.

Hannah beamed, "Mommy can we go to Broadway? Can we please?" Hannah had decided at about age two that she wanted to be an actress after Spencer took her to see a play that her Aunty Kyla was directing with some kids that had come into the Counseling Centre that Spencer's father ran and where Kyla had been working for a number of years.

Spencer tilted her head and pretended to consider the questions, "Well I guess we can go see the Knicks if they're playing while we're there and if there is a play or musical on that you want to see and that's appropriate I think we might be able to do that too. But you two have to be very good until then and work hard at school so you can take a few days off to go to New York with Momma and Mommy."

The kids both jumped up from their seats and threw themselves into Spencer's arms with cries of thanks and over the top promises to be on their best behaviour.

Ashley caught her wife's eye and smiled lovingly. Spencer was really such a good mother and it always touched Ashley's heart to watch her with the kids. Parenting had come as naturally to Spencer as breathing, while it had taken Ashley a little longer to get the hang of it, which Spencer was sure was due to her insecurities that she was going to become her mother. Christine Davies really had a lot to answer for.

Ashley now had no contact with her mother and hadn't spoken to her for over ten years. Christine's refusal to come to Spencer and Ashley's wedding because she was going to a spa had been the last straw. After that Ashley completely cut her mother out of her life. Christine had never even met her grandchildren and they had heard through a friend of Ashley's father that Christine was onto her sixth husband, a wealthy businessman about twenty years her senior.

After Spencer had been thoroughly thanked by the children they sat back down to finish their dinner. Ashley beamed down the table at Spencer, "So Baby how did that meeting with New Line go today? When I called you earlier they said you were still in there."

"Well it went really great actually. They've signed me up to do this film about a young single mother who is really struggling and then she meets someone who changes her life. It is a solid script, but I have a few changes I want to make and I already have some ideas about casting. In fact I put in a call to Sophia Bush to see if she might be interested. Ever since we did that film together, Waiting To Escape, we've talked about working together again. She seemed keen and promised to read the script once I've finished reworking parts of it," Spencer gushed excitedly. She always got so animated when talking about her work. The only thing she got more animated talking about was her family.

"That's awesome Baby, when do they think shooting will start?" Ashley asked.

"Well they're thinking in about five months or so. I mean there is still a lot of work to be done yet. Oh and the best part is that the film is set here in L.A. so I shouldn't have to go away to film." Spencer explained.

"Oh that's good Mommy, I don't like it when you go away," Hannah said. Spencer reached over and gave her daughter's hand a squeeze.

"I don't like it when I have to go away either Baby Girl," Spencer murmured. There had been a few films that had required Spencer to go and film on location in other countries and around the US which had meant she was away from home for weeks or months at a time. None of them liked that too much.

Once dinner was finished and the kids tucked into bed Ashley found her wife standing on the decking out side their back door looking out over the ocean. They had moved into the beach house just after they gotten engaged, both of them loved being close to the water.

Ashley had brought the house as a surprise and brought Spencer out to it blindfolded. Spencer had cried when Ashley told her the house was theirs, a place for them to raise a family together, a place to grow old and more in love together. They had been living at the house for about 11 and a half years now and were blissfully happy.

Ashley stepped up behind her wife and wrapped her arms around her waist. Spencer relaxed back into her wife's arms and let out a sigh of contentment. Ashley kissed her gently on the cheek as they watched the ocean as it raced to the shore.

"What are you thinking about Baby?" Ashley asked, holding Spencer tighter to her and laying tender kisses on the top of her shoulder.

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have this life. I mean I have a wife who I fall more and more in love with everyday, two of the kindest, brightest and most beautiful children and a career that I am proud of and that I love. I wish I knew what I did to get so lucky," Spencer murmured and she tightened her hold on her wife's arms.

"Well Baby, whatever it was I'm really glad you did it. I couldn't imagine my life without you and the kids. I love you so much Spencer Carlin-Davies" Ashley whispered against her wife's ear.

"I love you too. How about we head on up to bed and I show you how much?" Spencer said turning around in Ashley's arms and giving her a coy smile.

"Hmm I like the sound of that," Ashley murmured. Spencer slipped from her arms and led the brunette up the stairs to their bedroom. On the way they checked on their children, who were both sleeping soundly.

Spencer led the way into their bedroom and closed the door behind them. Ashley stepped up until she had her wife pressed against the door and began a slow assault on her lips.

Spencer moaned throatily as Ashley moved down and began placing hot kisses over her neck. Ashley smirked against Spencer's skin as she felt the moans vibrating in her wife's throat. Even after so long together their passion for each other was limit less.

Ashley gently slid her hands underneath Spencer's top and began inching it upwards, never losing contact with her hot, silky skin. Spencer arched away from the door and into Ashley's body as Ashley bit down gently on the skin where her neck met her shoulder. Ashley broke her contact with Spencer's neck just long enough to lift her top over her head and toss it into the far corner of their bedroom.

Spencer leaned in and captured her wife's lips in a kiss that was rough with passion and want as she began moving them towards the bed. Ashley smirked against her wife's lips as the back of her legs hit the bed. Ashley spun them around and pushed Spencer backwards so that she was laid out on top of the covers. Moving quickly Ashley lowered her body over Spencer's and trembled at the contact. The feeling of the gorgeous blonde beneath her never failed to affect Ashley.

They were tender with each other as they slowly freed the other from her clothes. Once they were both naked Spencer flipped them over so that she was lying above her wife. With a soft smile, which was only ever bestowed on Ashley, Spencer began trailing kisses all over her wife's throat, chest and shoulders while her hands began to roam.

Ashley writhed and moaned as she arched her body up into her wife's to try and increase the contact. Spencer smirked against her wife's neck and moved back off Ashley to keep the contact frustratingly light. Ashley groaned in protest and splayed her hands out across Spencer's back so that she could pull her wife firmly down on top of her, causing Spencer to chuckle breathlessly at her wife's impatience.

They moved against each other, their sweat slicked bodies creating a friction that tread the line between pleasure and pain. Hands and mouths explored familiar territory as the two women drove each other to the heights of ecstasy. Just before they tumbled over the edge together in an epic climax Spencer lowered her lips to her wife's ear and murmured, "I love you." Ashley bit down on Spencer's shoulder to muffle her cry as she climaxed, while Spencer buried her face in Ashley's neck.

Spencer collapsed on top of Ashley, gasping for air as she came down from her high. Ashley wrapped comforting arms around her wife's body and ran soothing hands over hot and sensitized skin. Safe in each other's arms they feel into a deep sleep where they dreamed of each other.

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	3. Reunion Of Sorts

**Thanks to all who reviewed, and yeah I had to add in Sophia Bush considering how much I love her! **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Three – Reunion Of Sorts**

Four Months Later

Spencer closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, hoping in vain to magically make her headache disappear. She had been feeling pretty under the weather for a few weeks now and then throw in a cross-country flight with two very excited children who were eager to see their Momma again and it was a recipe for a monster migraine. She sighed and opened her eyes just in time to see her daughter up to no good.

"Hannah would you please stop hitting your brother!" Spencer snapped tiredly as Hannah thumped her little brother on the arm, making Lucas cry and snuggled into Spencer's side.

"But Mommy he called me stupid!" Hannah argued with a very Spencer like pout. Unfortunately for Hannah that particular pout worked on Ashley, well pretty much everyone else but Spencer. This probably had something to do with the fact that she herself was the master of dispensing the pout when it was needed.

"Hannah I don't care what he called you, you do not hit your brother. Violence is never the answer, do you understand me?" Spencer said with a frown.

Hannah crossed her arms over her chest and nodded as she huffed and sat back in her seat. Spencer looked down at Lucas who was still snuggled into her side, sniffling quietly, "Luke did you call your sister stupid?" She asked.

Lucas nodded guiltily up at his mother. "Lucas Arthur Davies do not call your sister names like that ever again, its mean and I expect better from you, both of you," Spencer said in her best disappointed Mom voice.

"I'm sorry Mommy," Lucas said with a slight tremble of his lower lip.

"Well ok then, but you need to apologise to Hannah too," Spencer said with a small smile.

Lucas turned to his sister and said contritely, "Sorry Hannie, you aren't stupid, you're as smart as Mommy!" Spencer giggled a little at her son's apology.

Hannah grinned at her brother, she really could never stay mad at him, few people could, "That's ok Lukie, I'm sorry too. Do you want to colour in with me?" Lucas nodded excitedly as Hannah pulled out her colouring book and pencils.

Spencer smiled lovingly at her kids and settled back in her seat on the plane. They would be landing in New York soon and she couldn't wait. Ashley's business had kept her in New York a lot more than she had anticipated and it had been over three weeks since they had seen her. Spencer was missing her wife tremendously.

She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew Lucas was shaking her awake and telling her the plane was going to land. Spencer sat up and winced at the wave of nausea that spread through her stomach. _I really have to get to the doctor once we get back to L.A._, she thought to herself.

Lucas started jabbering excitedly that he could see New York while Hannah was putting away her things so they could get off the plane quicker to see her Momma. Spencer was fighting the urge to throw up.

Once the plane landed Spencer put all their carry on baggage over her shoulders, grabbed a child in each hand and began making her way towards the gate and Ashley. As soon as they walked out into the airport terminal Lucas ripped his hand from hers and bolted. Spencer called after him and dragged Hannah behind her as they followed him as fast as they could. They caught up to him just as he was flinging himself into Ashley's open arms. Spencer felt her heart start to race at the sight of her beautiful wife, it had been hell without her.

"Hey little buddy, my God I think you've grown!" Ashley cried as she held her son in her arms and kissed him on top of his messy blonde hair.

"I have Momma, I'm a big boy now!" Lucas said proudly.

"Yeah you are little man!" Ashley said as she released him and pulled Hannah into her arms, "Hello my Princess, wow you get more and more like your Mommy every time I see you! I missed you Hannah!" Hannah smiled in pleasure, she thought her Mommy was beautiful and it made her happy whenever people told her she looked like Spencer.

"I missed you too Momma! Mommy is always sad when you're not home and it makes me and Lukie sad too," Hannah said into Ashley's neck. Ashley gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Oh me too Princess, I'm sad when I'm not home with you guys too." Ashley released her daughter and got to her feet. Her eyes locked on Spencer's and she took two quick steps to pull her wife into her arms. Spencer melted against her wife and tried to keep the tears at bay, she had been really emotional the past couple of weeks which she was chalking up to her exhaustion and missing Ashley. "Oh Baby I missed you so much!" Ashley murmured into her wife's ear.

"I missed you too Ash. God I love you so much," Spencer said huskily. Ashley pulled back so she could cup her wife's face in her palms and brought their lips together in a much-needed kiss.

Once they had pulled apart Ashley grabbed the carry on baggage from Spencer and led them to baggage claim. Once they'd gotten their bags they were led out to a waiting black SUV. They climbed in and then Ashley took the time to really look at her wife. She frowned, Spencer appeared a thinner than Ashley ever remembered seeing her, more tired and looked pale under her perfect Californian tan, which she easily maintained running after their kids.

Ashley leaned into her wife as their driver navigated the crazy airport traffic, "Hey Spence are you alright, you don't look so good?" Ashley asked.

Spencer gave her a wry smile, "Oh that's right you don't see me for almost a month and one of the first things you tell me is that I don't look good. Thanks Baby, it's great to see you too."

Ashley grinned and rolled her eyes, "You know you're gorgeous Spence and you know I am so happy to see you, but in all seriousness you don't look well, are you ok?"

Spencer took Ashley's hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, "I'm ok Honey, just been a little under the weather and pretty tired but I promise I'll see a doctor once I get home, ok?"

Satisfied Ashley nodded and pulled Spencer over so that her head was resting on her shoulder. She gave her wife a kiss on the forehead and frowned, it felt like Spencer had a fever. "Spence, have you got a fever?"

"Yeah a bit of one, I'm ok, just a bug I think," Spencer said reassuringly.

Ashley held her closer and smiled at their children. She had missed her family so much and was so glad to have them in New York with her. Ashley placed a kiss on the top of her wife's head and held her closer as New York City flashed by the windows of their car.

Spencer must have fallen asleep during the drive because the next thing she knew she was in Ashley's arms being carried from the car into the hotel, "Ash, put me down before you throw your back out!" She demanded.

Ashley set her carefully down on her feet and then had to grab her round the waist when her legs gave way, "Whoa Baby, you alright?" Ashley asked with concern.

"Mommy?" Lucas asked with fear in his voice.

Spencer steadied herself and leaned down to lift Lucas up in her arms, "Yeah I'm ok guys, just a little unsteady is all. Don't worry my Darling," Spencer kissed Lucas on the cheek before putting him back down and smiling at her wife, "It's ok Baby, I'm fine," She murmured reassuringly.

Spencer took Hannah's hand and began walking slowly towards the lifts as Ashley followed them with Lucas, Ashley's assistant, Cole, was already taking up their bags.

Once they were in the lift Spencer leaned heavily against the wall and closed her eyes. She had been feeling utterly exhausted and pretty unwell for the last couple of weeks and it was catching up with her. Ashley looked on in concern but didn't say anything, she would wait until they were alone so she didn't worry the children.

As soon as the door opened to their hotel suit the kids ran around excitedly. Spencer stepped into the living room and looked around in wonder. It was beautiful. The place was practically a full apartment with all the amenities they had at home and then some. Spencer was about to turn around to tell Ashley how impressed she was when a sudden shooting pain in her head made her want to throw up and/or cry. She forced a smile onto her face, composed herself to hide her pain and turned to face her family, "Sorry guys I'm just going to have a little lie down, I'm pretty tired from the flight."

Ashley frowned a little, not buying a word of Spencer's excuse. Lucas ran over and gave his Mommy a hug, "Have a good sleep Mommy! You gotta feel good so we can go see the Knicks tonight!"

Spencer smiled lovingly at her son, "I will be little man, be good for Momma ok?" Lucas nodded and ran over to throw himself on the couch next to Hannah who had discovered the television.

"You ok Spence?" Ashley asked taking a step closer to her wife.

Spencer smiled reassuringly, "Yeah Honey I'm fine, just a little tired. I'll get a few hours sleep and then be good as new." Spencer walked over to the couch, gave Hannah and Lucas each a kiss on the forehead and Ashley a tender squeeze on her shoulder as she walked past her towards the master bedroom which Ashley had pointed out to her.

As soon as she was out of sight Spencer let her smile fall and the tears start to run. The pain in her head was excruciating. She bolted into the master bedroom and straight into the ensuite, where she proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

Once she had no more to throw up Spencer flushed the toilet, rinsed out her mouth and gently lay herself down on the bed, still in her clothes, just minus her shoes. She curled up on her side and let the tears roll down her face as she drifted off to sleep.

Ashley looked worriedly at the door her wife had just passed through before turning back to the excited conversation the kids were having about all the places they wanted to see while they were in New York. She smiled at her kids, they really were wonderful and she hated that she had been apart from them for so long.

Lucas got up from his spot on the couch and planted himself on Ashley's lap, "Momma is Mommy ok?" He asked with concern in his big blue eyes, which were so like Spencer's.

She smiled warmly down at him, "Yeah Little Buddy, she's fine just a little tired that's all." Ashley did not entirely believe the words she was telling her son but she was not telling him that.

Hannah looked thoughtful for a moment before adding, "She's been tired like this for a few weeks Momma, since a few days after you left and I think she's been throwing up a bit. Is Mommy sick?"

"I don't know Princess, Mommy said she would go to see a doctor when you guys get back to L.A. and then they will make her all better ok?" Ashley said, trying to comfort their children and maybe even herself a little bit too.

"Ok, I just want her to feel better Momma," Hannah said sadly. Ashley leaned over and gave her small hand a gentle squeeze.

"I know Princess, me too."

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**Hmm, what's wrong with Spencer? Stay tuned to find out!**


	4. Hiding Behind Fine

**Usual disclaimer - SoN characters are not mine**

**Thanks you to all who have reviewed, added alerts, favourited or even just read this story.**

**Palexobsesses, .alex, hugbuddy13, Becci2009, grangergirl22 and nightwish fan - All will be revealed, thank you for your reviews!**

**mutt009 - hmm a few people are thinking brain tumor. Spencer and kids are with Ashley in New York just for a weekend, so we'll see how it pans out**

**MrsMusgraveTNG - Yep I am a mean tease for leaving it like that!**

**DontMindBNCrazy - Thanks so much!**

**WillowOn3 - Yeah I love me some drama, can't you tell lol. Spencer is trying to play down the seriousness of her illness which is why she's not running off to the doctor**

**. - Oh sorry! Glad I got you hooked. I'll try to update often to ease the torture a bit.**

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**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Four – Hiding Behind Fine**

Spencer woke up a few hours later and found Ashley sitting beside her on the bed gently stroking her hair. Seeing her wife start to stir Ashley planted a tender kiss on her cheek and murmured, "Hey Beautiful, how are you feeling?"

Spencer gave her a tired smile and said in a voice husky from sleep, "I'm ok Baby, feeling much better I promise." Spencer struggled into a sitting position and opened her arms to her wife. Ashley moved up the bed and settled in her wife's arms with her head pillowed against Spencer's chest.

"God Spencer I missed you so much these last few weeks, talking on the phone every day just doesn't cut it does it?" Ashley murmured softly.

"No Baby it doesn't. I missed you too, we've just got to remember that it's not forever and hey it's not like we haven't been apart before. I mean I've had to go away to film and for promotional tours and you've had to go to see artists perform all over the world. Although I kinda like that you miss me Mrs. Davies," Spencer said with a coy smile.

"Oh yeah? Well I kinda like that you miss me too Mrs. Carlin-Davies," Ashley said with a smirk. She was about to lean up and kiss her wife when there was a tentative knock on the door and Lucas' head appeared.

"Momma, Mommy are we gonna go see the Knicks now? I told Uncle Glen that I'd tell him all about it when we got home!" Lucas asked.

Spencer smiled adoringly and moved to the side of the bed. She got to her feet and quickly grabbed the bedside table to steady herself, something that did not go unnoticed by Ashley.

"Yeah little man, give Mommy a minute to change and we'll go ok?" Spencer asked kindly. Lucas nodded and ran off, yelling for Hannah to get ready.

Spencer took a step away from the bedside table, still pretty unsteady on her feet. "Spence, what's going on? If I didn't know better I'd assume you were drunk!" Ashley said.

Spencer chuckled, "No Ash I'm not drunk just really tired. I've been really busy the last month or so getting this movie ready to film and looking after the kids, plus I'm getting over that bug or whatever it is. I swear Baby, I'm fine." Spencer went to her suitcase and took out a change of clothes before disappearing into the bathroom to change.

Ashley frowned at that, Spencer usually just changed in front of her. They had never been modest about nudity and always took changing as an opportunity to tease each other a little bit. Ashley was determined to find out what was going on with her wife.

Spencer looked at her body in the mirror and winced at the bruises covering her skin. She had no idea how she had gotten them and was seriously stressing about having to try and hide them from her wife. They hadn't seen each other in almost a month so it was safe to assume at some point on this trip her wife was gonna want to see her naked.

Spencer sighed tiredly and started putting on her clothes, thankful that it was chilly in New York so she could cover up without raising suspicions. Once she was dressed and had applied makeup to try and cover up the dark circles under her eyes, Spencer stepped out into the bedroom. She grabbed her bag and headed out to join her family, who were waiting patiently for her.

Ashley took her hand and murmured softly, "You sure you're up for this?"

Spencer nodded and smiled reassuringly. Before dropping Ashley's hand and scooping Lucas up in her arms. He let out and excited squeal and giggled as Spencer swung him onto her back and gave him a piggyback ride out to the lift. Hannah laughed and followed them, while Ashley just looked thoughtful as she pulled the door closed behind them.

The arrived at Maddison Square Garden with plenty of time to spare and quickly found their seats. Lucas' excitement was barely contained as he told them all about the players who would be on the court that night, it was obvious he had been listening to Glen a lot.

Lucas was sitting in between Ashley and Hannah, who both tried to keep up with his chatter. Spencer was sitting on the other side of Hannah and was trying to keep up the appearance that she was fine, when in fact all she wanted to do was sleep.

If Spencer was honest with herself she knew that whatever was wrong with her was far more serious then just being tired and having a bug. She had a bad feeling that whatever was going on with her was much more serious than that. As soon as she thought Ashley was preoccupied with the kids, Spencer slipped some painkillers out of her bag and swallowed them down with a sip of Hannah's Coke. Painkillers had become a necessity of her existence these days.

Ashley noticed her wife swallow a few pills out of the corner of her eye and her worry increased. She wasn't buying Spencer's excuses that she was tired and getting over a bug. She had been with this woman for over thirteen years, more than long enough to know that something was seriously not right.

At halftime Spencer excused herself to go to the bathroom and ended up having to take Hannah with her. She held her daughter's hand in hers and led her through the insane crowd. When they reached the bathroom Spencer had to lean against the wall to keep from sliding to the floor.

"Mommy are you ok?" Hannah asked tentatively.

Spencer forced a smile onto her face, "Yeah Baby Girl I'm fine, I promise."

Spencer hated lying to her family, but she didn't want them to know how worried she was. Once she got home she would go see her doctor and get to the bottom of whatever was wrong with her. She wouldn't worry her family until she knew what was going on with her. _Why get them all concerned when it could be for nothing? _Spencer thought to herself.

Once they were finished in the bathroom, with Spencer having to throw up a little, they made their way back to their seats. Ashley took one look at her wife and knew that she was really struggling. She wanted to go to her, but knew that there was no way in hell her wife would talk about anything that could upset the kids.

The rest of the game passed with Lucas and Hannah cheering excitedly and Ashley constantly stealing glances at Spencer, who was looking more and more exhausted as the game progressed. By the time it was over Spencer looked just about ready to pass out.

Ashley quickly gathered their things together and started leading them out towards the car. She could see that her wife was fading fast and just wanted to get her back to the hotel so she could rest.

Spencer was holding tight to Lucas' hand as she listened to him talk animatedly about the game they had just watched. She tried so hard to focus on what he was saying but the pain in her head was becoming excruciating as her exhaustion increased, making it difficult to concentrate. She as snapped back to her son when he asked a question.

"So can I Mommy?" Lucas asked with a huge smile.

"Sorry buddy, I didn't catch that," She said apologetically.

"Mommy! You're not even listening to me!" Lucas whined.

"Yeah I am buddy I just missed your question is all, what did you ask me?" Spencer said, trying to placate her son.

Lucas huffed a little before answering, "I asked if I could call Uncle Glen when we got to the hotel and tell him about the game."

Spencer gave his small hand a squeeze, "Sure you can little buddy, I think Uncle Glen would love to hear all about it." Lucas beamed up at her, his annoyance at his mother forgotten.

They soon arrived at the SUV and climbed in. Ashley had let the driver have the night off so jumped in the driver's side once the kids and Spencer were all safely inside. She started the car and began driving them back to the hotel, glancing over at her wife whenever she could.

Spencer had her eyes closed and was leaning back against the car seat. The travelling and then long night at the basketball with two excited children had really taken it out of her. Spencer must have once again dozed off because she was awoken by a soft hand stroking her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up into the warm mocha eyes that she knew so well.

Ashley leaned down over her wife as she stirred from her sleep, "Hey Gorgeous, we're at the hotel."

Spencer undid her seatbelt and took her wife's offered hand as she slid carefully from the car. She slung her bag over her shoulder and walked wearily towards the lobby with Hannah's hand in hers.

Ashley followed behind with Lucas, her concern only increasing. They made it up to their room and Spencer was dragged over to the phone by Lucas so that they could call Glen. Ashley took Hannah off to get her in the bath.

Spencer dialled her brother's number and waited for him to answer.

"_Hello,"_ came Glen's voice down the line.

"Hey big brother, how are you?" Spencer said.

"_Hey Baby Sis, I__'__m good how are you? You feeling any better at all?__"_Glen asked. He was the only one who knew just how unwell she had been feeling. He had caught her throwing up and had thought she was pregnant again so Spencer had told him the truth.

"I'm ok, just a bit tired," She replied.

"_Liar. Please tell me you__'__ve told Ashley how shit you__'__ve been feeling?__"_

Spencer was about to reply when Lucas tugged on her sleeve and reminded her of the reason for the call, "Hey Glen I have a very excited young man here who wants to tell you all about the basketball game we just got back from."

"_Ok Spence, put him on but you and I will talk again soon ok?__"_

"Yeah ok. Talk to you later Glen, here's Lucas," Spencer handed the phone to her son and leant back on the sofa tuning out the conversation between her son and her brother.

Spencer was startled from her thoughts by the sound of Lucas hanging up the phone. She grinned at her little boy and told him to go get ready for his bath. She got to her feet and made her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

That's where Ashley found her, leaning against the counter gripping it so tightly that her knuckles were completely white, her eyes closed and mouth turned down in an uncharacteristic frown. Ashley crossed the room to her wife's side and rubbed her back gently, "Baby what's going on? This is so much more than you just being tired or getting over a bug. Spencer what is it?"

Spencer opened her eyes and stepped into her wife's arms. Ashley wrapped her arms around her wife's body and held her close. Spencer buried her face in her wife's neck and breathed in the familiar scent. She just wanted to enjoy the comfort of the familiar embrace for a moment. They stood in silence for a while and then Ashley asked again, "Baby what is it?"

Spencer sighed tiredly, "I really am ok Ashley, maybe I've been working too much or something in the build up to the start of shooting on this New Line film. I'll call my doctor tomorrow and make an appointment for the day I get back to L.A. to get everything checked out ok?"

Ashley frowned, "ok, but I am really worried about you Spence. Since I picked you guys up at the airport you haven't been yourself and Hannah told me you've been tired like this for weeks and that she thinks you've been throwing up. It's got to be pretty bad if the kids are noticing that something's wrong."

Spencer pulled out of Ashley's arms, "Fuck Ash! There is nothing wrong ok?! I'm just tired and have been looking after two kids on my own while you've been here!" Spencer snapped.

Ashley held up a hand, "Wait a minute Spencer, don't you dare throw that back in my face. How many times have I been left alone with the kids while you've been off filming or promoting some movie?! I so rarely have to go away for my work and now the one time I've been gone longer than a week and you throw it back in my face! What about the time you were filming in Australia and we only saw you nine times in five months!"

Spencer glared tiredly at her wife, "Fine you're right Ashley, I'm the bad guy as always. It is always me. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go get our kids ready for bed so I can get some sleep." Spencer slammed her glass down on the counter and stormed out.

Ashley tossed the glass in the sink and slammed her fist down onto the counter, "Fuck!" She cursed. She so didn't want to fight with Spencer. She had missed her so much since she had been in New York and the last thing she wanted was to have her wife mad at her.

Ashley slumped against the counter and put her head in her hands.

Spencer got Lucas bathed and then spent about half an hour trying to calm down two every over-excited children so that they would go to sleep. Once they were finally tucked in and drifting off Spencer headed into the master bedroom.

She was relieved to find it empty. Spencer shed her clothed and slipped into some pajamas that hid the bruises on her body and slipped into the huge king sized bed with her back to the bedroom door.

If Spencer was honest she had picked a fight with Ashley on purpose earlier. She was pretty worried about her health and didn't want to worry her wife and kids until she knew that there was a reason for them to worry. Spencer was terrified of her wife seeing the strange bruises on her, knowing that they would only make Ashley more concerned than she already was. So she had let her exhaustion and fear take her over and picked a stupid fight with her wife.

Spencer lay in the dark and let her tears fall, she was so scared and so angry with herself for taking it out on the woman she loved.

It was all so messed up.

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	5. Lying To Protect

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews.**

nightwish fan – ah thanks, I take that as a compliment lol

Wheezer, prissy020304, Becci2009 – Thank you that means a lot.

.alex – Aw thanks, glad I keep reeling you in! Hope you enjoy the next update!

greenwave – Yeah something really is definitely wrong with Spencer! Thank you for your review

mutt009 – yep dreaded bruises. I would love to tell you what's going on…but I'm not that nice, read on and eventually all will be revealed!

WillowOn3 – Yeah I seem to like using Ashley as a punching bag don't I? totally not intentional it just turns out that way lol. Oh and don't worry I'll bring it lol

hugbuddy13 – She does need to talk to Ashley and soon I think

LoveAsh87 – Thanks, whatever Spencer has is going to be huge for her and her family. Spencer will be needing Ashley.

aemcd – Ah suspense is killing you huh? Is it wrong that makes me smile? I am evil I love torturing my readers. I promise I'll try and get some updates up quick to ease the suspense a bit

Palexobsessed – Yeah I am mean to Ashley in my stories…and Spencer if you think about it. I like Ashley being like this, strong and persistent. I think it's how she ended up at the end of the show, committed to the relationship. Thanks heaps for the review!

**Many of you are predicting cancer for Spencer, I will neither confirm or deny at this stage**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Five – Lying To Protect**

Ashley sat out in the living room nursing a glass of vodka until she was sure Spencer was in bed. She felt sick with worry about her wife and the fight they'd just had was not making her feel any better. Ashley had a feeling that that fight was really about something much bigger than what it appeared on the surface and it was only adding to her concern.

She downed the vodka in her glass and headed to the master bedroom. As soon as she opened the door she could tell that Spencer was awake, but pretending to be asleep. She had watched her wife sleep enough times to be able to tell when she was really sleeping or not.

Ashley sighed and began to get ready for bed. Usually she slept naked with her wife, even if they hadn't had sex. She had always loved the feeling of having her naked skin pressing against her wife's body. Ashley slipped on a tank top and a pair of boxer shorts, in her wife's current mood she figured it would be safer to go to bed clothed.

Ashley lifted the covers and slid under them facing Spencer's back. She wanted so desperately to reach out and hold her wife in her arms. She had been longing to have Spencer in her arms again and now here they were, the first night they'd spent together in almost a month and her wife was mad at her.

"Spence I know you're not asleep, please talk to me," Ashley said softly into the darkness. Spencer remained facing away from Ashley and squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that were streaming in endless torrents down her cheeks. Ashley sighed and moved closer to her wife in the bed.

"Spencer whether or not you want to talk to me right now I hope you know I love you so much and I have missed you so very much. I don't know what's going on with you but I'm here for you my Love. Good night Baby." Ashley leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her wife's shoulder before moving away and lying in the darkness.

Spencer cried harder and tried to stay as silent as possible. She wanted so badly to turn and seek comfort in her wife's arms, but she just couldn't.

It ended up being a long, restless night for both of them.

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Ashley awoke early to find that Spencer was already up and out of bed. She pulled herself out from under the covers and went looking for her girl. Ashley wandered through out the hotel suit until it hit her, she knew exactly where Spencer would be.

Ashley padded out onto the balcony and found her wife asleep in one of the chairs. Spencer's head was leaning back, exposing her elegant throat. Her long blonde hair was stirring slightly in the light breeze as it fell over her shoulders and her legs were curled up in front of her. Spencer looked so peaceful in her sleep.

Ashley sat down on the chair beside her and tenderly swept a few stray strands of hair off her face before placing a gentle kiss on her wife's cheek. Spencer stirred and began to wake up slowly. She fluttered her eyes a bit before opening them and looking up at Ashley.

Ashley smiled tentatively down at her wife, "Good morning," Ashley murmured.

"Hey," Spencer said as she pulled herself upright in her chair and turned to look out over Central Park.

"So are we going to talk about what happened last night Spence?" Ashley asked as she watched her wife's profile.

Spencer closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I suppose we should."

Ashley sighed and reached out to take Spencer's hand, "Baby I'm not entirely sure what happened last night between us. All I know is that I'm worried about you, you really aren't yourself at the moment."

Spencer looked over at her wife and hated the worry she saw etched onto her beautiful face. Spencer smiled adoringly up at her, "Honey I told you I'm fine, just really tired. This new project has required a lot of work, late nights, and then the kids, Lucas started basketball and Hannah has her dance lessons, her drama club and her horse riding lessons. And then throw in the fact that I never sleep well when you're not there and you have a very tired, very grumpy me. I'm sorry about the things I said last night, I didn't mean them, that was just the exhaustion talking. I'm sorry Ash."

Ashley smiled lovingly and moved so that she could pull Spencer into her arms, "Its ok Baby, I'm sorry too. I just worry about you is all. I love you Spencer."

Spencer smiled warmly and snuggled into her wife's arms, "I love you too Ash."

They sat in each other's arms until they heard the sounds of the kids starting to get up. "Better go get them ready," Spencer said as she went to stand up.

Ashley held her in place and murmured, "No you stay out here and relax, you're on holiday so I'll sort out the kids and call you when breakfast is ready."

Spencer smiled in appreciation and kissed her wife softly on the lips. Ashley planted tender kisses on both Spencer's cheeks and her forehead before she got to her feet and headed back inside to get the kids sorted for the day.

Spencer leaned back in her chair and looked over the balcony at the city around her. She really loved New York, L.A. would always be home but New York was a place she would never grow tired of.

Her thoughts turned to Ashley then. She felt awful after their fight the night before and she felt terrible for lying to her wife. She could see how anxious Ashley was getting about her and she hated it. She loved her wife so much and it was really hard to hide this from her. She promised herself that once she got home and saw the doctor she'd tell Ashley everything.

Spencer had been sitting out on the balcony for a while when Hannah came out and told her breakfast was ready. Spencer gave her daughter a hug and let herself be led by the hand into the hotel room.

Ashley had gone all out with breakfast (which Spencer assumed came from room service, Ashley for all her strong points was not the greatest of cooks). The table was covered in plates of pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, hash browns and fresh fruit. Spencer paused by Lucas' chair and gave him a kiss on top of his messy hair.

Ashley sprang from her seat and pulled out her wife's chair for her. Spencer giggled and let Ashley help her into her seat. "Thanks Honey, this looks great," Spencer murmured.

"Your welcome, I made it all myself," Ashley said with an earnest expression on her face.

Spencer tilted her head and said with a raised eyebrow, "Oh is that right?"

"Nope she's lying Mommy, a man who was dressed like a waiter brought it all up on a trolley and Momma just put it on the table and told us to lie to you," Lucas said as he began to eat his pancakes. Ashley started at him incredulously as Spencer burst out laughing.

"Oh Baby its ok, I appreciate the thought and hey whatever they made here in the hotel is probably safer for us to eat than whatever you would come up with" Spencer teased.

Ashley pretended to look hurt before her face broke out in a nose-crinkling smile, "Well only the best for my family." Spencer smiled down the table at Ashley before serving herself a small portion of food.

Ashley frowned at the tiny amount of food on Spencer's plate, but refrained from saying anything given the fight they'd had the night before. She had a feeling that the excuses her wife was giving her were not the whole story and it really worried her. She knew Spencer and she would only keep a secret if it had the potential to hurt her family.

After breakfast the usual flurry activity that it took to get two children ready to face the day began as the two women also tried to get ready themselves. Ashley had the morning off work so they had a lot planned and needed to get a move on.

Spencer spent the morning rush fighting back the urge to vomit all over their stylish hotel room. She knew eating breakfast had been a bad idea, but she hadn't wanted Ashley to worry when she saw that she wasn't eating.

Spencer sipped on water to keep the nausea at bay and snuck painkillers to combat the monster head ache that felt like it was going to make her skull split in two and aching joints which made her feel like she had growing pains again. Spencer was putting on her makeup when she saw Ashley walk up behind her in the mirror.

Ashley stepped up behind her wife and wrapped her hands around her waist before she dropped kisses along the back of Spencer's neck. Her hands slid underneath her wife's top and began tracing the smooth skin of her tonned stomach. Spencer closed her eyes against the sensation, but was snapped back to reality when she felt Ashley start to lift her top. She pushed Ashley's hands off her stomach and smoothed down her top.

Ashley looked confused and concerned, "Spencer what is it?"

"Ash the kids are in the next room and we have a huge day planned so we don't have time for this," Spencer got to her feet and ran a hand through her hair before scooping up her bag and walking out of their bedroom. Ashley looked baffled before she got up and followed her wife out.

They spent the morning touring New York, taking the kids through Central Park and to other various sights. Just before lunch Ashley got a call and had to head into the office earlier than anticipated. Spencer frowned but kept quiet as she kissed her wife goodbye. If she was honest, Spencer had a feeling she wasn't completely up to chasing two kids around New York City, but she couldn't tell Ashley that.

After they got a quick lunch Spencer bundled the kids into a taxi and they headed to Broadway where they were seeing a matinee of a musical Kyla had recommended. About fifteen minutes in and Spencer was asleep. She was damn lucky that her kids are so well behaved and that there were no creeps around because when she was roused from her sleep at intermission by the loud applause, both kids were present and accounted for.

Spencer took both to the bathroom before it was time to get back to their seats. Spencer was able to force herself to stay awake for this half of the play, but it was a struggle. She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Her whole body was aching and she was feeling so weak.

Once the play was over, Spencer led her two very excited children into another taxi which drove them across town to her friend and former mentor's apartment. Lily was waiting for them as they got out of the cab and was quick to pull both Lucas and Hannah into a huge hug.

"Aunty Lily!" Lucas exclaimed as he clung to her.

"Aunty Lily, Mommy just took us to see a musical, it was awesome!" Hannah said excitedly.

"That's great Hannah, how bout we head upstairs and you can tell me all about it!" Lily said with a grin for them both.

She turned to Spencer next and enveloped the younger woman in a warm hug, "hey Spence, it's been too long!"

"Yeah it has, I missed you Lil," Spencer said as she followed her friend into the building with a child clinging to each hand.

The kids chatted excitedly the whole ride in the lift and were still jabbering on as Lily led them into her apartment. It was gorgeous, very open and stylish, very Lily. Spencer and the kids followed her into the living room where they took a seat on the huge red sofa. Lily went into the kitchen to get them some drinks while Spencer had to remind her children to be careful and to not touch anything. They were rather inquisitive children and had broken things at various friends and relatives homes before. The worst being when Spencer had taken them to a fellow director's house and they had accidentally dropped his Oscar in the pool. That little incident had made the front page of the entertainment section, which Ashley had put on their fridge.

Lily wandered back in with a tray laden with drinks and snacks. Lucas and Hannah drove straight into the plate of biscuits, ignoring their mother's order to have manners. Spencer just rolled her eyes and Lily laughed.

"Kids will be kids Spencer, let them go they're just excited. Now how are you doing?" Lily asked with a kind smile.

"I'm alright Lil, busy as always. I'm working on a new project for New Line, which is taking up a lot of time, plus finalizing the last bit of post production on Everything You Want, that film I directed starring Kristen Stewart and Jensen Ackles. Plus looking after the kids without Ashley around, it's all been a bit hectic. What about you Lil? How's things?" Spencer said tiredly.

"Well everything's going really well, but to be honest I am getting sick of the New York lifestyle and am seriously considering heading back to Lala Land. I am so not feeling challenged anymore and I need that in my work life. Plus Helen and I just broke up and I have the feeling that New York just isn't big enough for the two of us." Lily explained.

Lily and her girlfriend Helen had dated for almost four years. It had been a rather volatile relationship that had gone through a lot of on again, off again phases.

"I'm sorry Lil, that's awful, but hey I know I'd love to have you back in L.A. and you could get a job out there no worries." Spencer smiled and laid a hand over Lily's.

Lily was about to respond when Hannah came over and plonked herself down on Spencer's lap. "Aunty Lily can I tell you about the play now?"

Lily smiled sweetly at the little girl, "Sure you can sweetie, I'd love to hear all about it."

Spencer smiled and began running her hands through her daughter's baby soft hair, so much like her own. Spencer marveled sometimes how much like her Hannah was, even down to her mannerisms and way of speaking. Lucas on the other hand, while he looked like Spencer (well actually like Glen) he was Ashley all over.

Spencer listened to her children ramble on excitedly to Lily about their afternoon at the theatre while Spencer just listened in with a contented smile on her lips. Lucas had climbed up on the sofa and was sitting snuggled up to Lily, who they all thought he had a little crush on.

Spencer was brought from her thoughts by the ringing of her cell phone. She smiled apologetically and lifted Hannah off her lap so she could get up to answer the phone. She smiled when she saw Ashley's name on her caller id, "Hey Honey, you almost done at work?"

"_Uh please don't hate me but it's going to be a while Spence,"_ Ashley said.

Spencer sighed she had been looking forward to spending some time with Ashley that afternoon, "How much longer Ash?"

"_To be honest I'm not really sure. Um you guys should just do your thing and I'll call you when I'm done and I'll come and meet you. Are you at Lily's?"_ Ashley asked.

"Yeah, the kids are just telling her about the play." Spencer said shortly, she couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed with Ashley, but she suspected that it was exhaustion talking more than anything.

"_Spencer please don't be angry with me, if I could get away from the office you know that I would. I would much rather be with you and the kids than stuck here,"_ Ashley pleaded.

Spencer sighed again, "Yeah I know Baby. Ok well I guess I'll talk to you later then."

"_Yeah ok, I love you Spencer."_

"Love you too, bye." Spencer hung up and snapped her phone closed. She rubbed her eyes and wandered back to her kids and Lily. She was feeling so weak and exhausted she just wanted to lie down and cry.

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	6. Spinning The Tale

**Thanks once again for the wonderful reviews**

**MrsMusgraveTNG - Yep lotsa people think cancer…I will not confirm or deny. No slapping Spencer, she's just scared and not handling it well at all. Give her time**

**Palexobsessed - lol yeah I am mean to Ash, you can say it coz its true…not too sure why coz I love Ashley. Yeah I love writing the committed side of Ash, aw man you made me wanna go watch it all again lol**

**mutt009 - Sorry! I am mean and love torturing you all, my bad lol**

**WillowOn3 - In this fic I'm not giving any hints, sorry Darlin. Thanks for the review!**

**nightwish fan - all will soon be revealed**

**DontMindBnCrazy - Yeah I really do like driving you guys crazy, I'm just mean like that lol. Thanks for the review**

**Ethiogirl - You're spot on about Spencer. Telling Ash and going to the doctor makes it more real and she is struggling with that. Thank you.**

**zmaster07 - Thank you so very much. Your review means a lot and I am glad to have you as a reader**

**REZ18 - I do know that I torture my readers…I'm evil like that. Yeah I like the maturity and commitment Ash shows at the end of SoN. Me be sympathetic?! Sadly I don't like our chances lol**

**XXxFreedom-WriterxXx - Thanks so much. I hope you like the next update**

**somthgIlike2do - hmm cancer huh? That's the common consensus. Spencer is scared and having put a bit of myself into the character I know that fear will make her withdraw into herself a bit. I promise this will not go on much longer.**

**Shanemmac16, Becci2009, hugbuddy13, slushy & LoveAsh87 - Thank you**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Six – Spinning The Tale**

After hearing that Ashley was being kept late at work Lily insisted that Spencer and the kids stay at her place for dinner. Spencer was going to politely refuse but the kids got so excited that she couldn't say no. In all honesty she had planned on taking them back to the hotel room for room service so she could lounge around in her sweat pants and hopefully get an early night.

Unfortunately it was not to be, and it would be nice to spend some more time with Lily. Since she had moved Spencer had not seen nearly enough of her with both of them being so busy. Spencer helped Lily prepare a simple dinner of burritos and bean salad, internally wincing at the thought of how messy the meal was going to be.

They sat around the table and began to eat with Hannah and Lucas telling Lily, everything and anything, from stories about school, to friend, to the puppy Ashley wouldn't let Spencer buy (the one constant sore point in their ten year marriage) and to God knows what else. Spencer kind of zoned out there for a while and only really got brought back to the moment when Lucas spilled half his burrito down his front.

Sighing Spencer cleaned him up and tried not to laugh along with Lucas, Hannah and Lily. "Well you'll have to wear the burrito stained top til you finish eating little man and then I'll give you another t-shirt to change into." Lucas was pretty bad a spilling on himself so Spencer always came prepared with a clean shirt for him.

After dinner and a quick change for Lucas they sat in front of the T.V. for some ice-cream. Spencer smiled as she watched Hannah give her small brother a hug and settle next to him on the floor in front of the sofa.

Lily brought her and Spencer over a coffee each and they sat around reminiscing about old times and mutual friends until Spencer caught Lucas yawning and slumping against his sister. "Lil I'd better get these kids home before Luke falls asleep on Hannah. It has been so great to catch up with you, I have really missed you."

Lily grinned and pulled the younger woman into a hug, "I missed you too Spencer." The women got to their feet and Spencer lifted a half asleep Lucas into her arms. His head lolled onto her shoulder and his little arms wrapped around her.

"Thanks for dinner and everything, I'll talk to you soon," Spencer murmured, careful to not wake up her little boy. Lily nodded and grinned as she placed a kiss on Spencer and Lucas' cheeks before bending over to give Hannah a warm hug.

Lily walked them out and hailed a cab for them. Once the kids were settled in the car Spencer gave her one last hug and climbed in. Hannah waved until Lily was out of sight.

As they were driven back to the hotel Spence sent off a quick text message to her wife,

-Leaving Lily's now, heading back to the hotel. See you later x

Spencer dropped her phone back in her bag and closed her eyes against the rising headache and aching joints that were tormenting her. She was just popping a few painkillers when the cab pulled up in front of the hotel. She paid the driver and got out, scooping Lucas up in her arms as Hannah held onto her bag.

Spencer struggled under the weight of her son in her exhausted state, but managed to get him all the way up to the hotel suit and into his bed. She undressed him and put on his Knicks pyjamas before helping Hannah into the bath and getting her ready for bed too.

By the time both kids were asleep, Spencer was feeling completely wretched. She took a quick shower and slipped into bed. The pain in her head and joints was so intense that she was trembling with it. She felt weak and totally spent. Spencer let her tears fall in the darkness as she finally succumbed to sleep.

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Ashley opened the door to the hotel suit carefully, not wanting to wake up the kids. She was expecting to find Spencer waiting for her in the living room, either to chew her out for being so late or to be able to finally spend some much needed time alone together. Instead she found all the lights off and Spencer in a deep sleep in their bed.

Frowning slightly Ashley took off her clothes and slipped into bed in only her bra and boy shorts underwear. She scooted over and wrapped an arm around Spencer's waist to pull her wife closer. Snuggling her face into the silky golden hair that always smelt of honey and coconut she dropped a tender kiss on the back of Spencer's neck.

Ashley tightened her hold on her wife and slowly drifted off to sleep, unaware that Spencer had woken up the second she'd slipped into bed beside her. Spencer shifted in Ashley's arms and looked at her wife's sleeping face. She leaned in and kissed the full lips in front of her and then rested her cheek against Ashley's chest before letting sleep take her once again.

For the second morning in a row Ashley woke up alone in the huge bed, a dip in the other pillow the only sign that her wife had been there. She got up and threw on her robe to go find her wife. She found Spencer sitting in the living room staring off into space with a cup of coffee in her hand and her laptop open in front of her on the coffee table.

"Hey Gorgeous, what are you doing up so early?" Ashley said as she walked into the room.

Spencer jumped at the unexpected entrance and turned to look at her wife, "Morning. I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd get some work done before the kids wake up," Spencer said gesturing at her laptop.

Ashley walked over and took Spencer's coffee from her hand. She placed it on the coffee table before straddling her wife and sitting down on her lap as she wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck. "Well I can think of something else we can do until the kids wake up Beautiful." Ashley leaned in and began trailing kisses up her wife's neck until she hit her lips and began a passionate assault.

Spencer responded rather unenthusiastically, making Ashley sit back and look down at her, "Spencer what's wrong? We haven't had a moment alone like this in almost a month and now you hardly seem to want to touch me. What's going on Baby?"

Spencer sighed and pushed Ashley gently off her lap so she could get to her feet, "Sorry Ash, I want you, I do, it's just not the right time now. The kids will be up soon and I have a heap of work I need to do. I'm sorry."

Ashley got up and walked over to her wife. She wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her closer, "Baby I know it's more than that, come on tell me what's going on? Usually I can't keep you off me and that's when we're seeing each other everyday and now since you arrived in New York it feels like you are finding any excuse not to touch me. I just don't get it."

Spencer scowled, "No of course you don't get it, it's always all about sex with you isn't Ashley? Well maybe I'm not in the mood, did you ever think of that?" Spencer snapped.

Ashley looked at her wife in shock, hurt written across her face, "Spencer how can you say that it's all about sex with me, you know that's not true. I love you, all of you and I have missed you so much. I won't apologise for wanting you, because I thought that seeing as I'm your fucking wife it's a good thing that I want you."

Spencer was about to respond when she heard the sound of small feet running up the hall towards them, "Would you stop running inside please!" She yelled. The sound of running stopped and s few seconds later Lucas came into the living room.

"Sorry Mommy, I just heard Momma and I wanted to see her coz we didn't see her yesterday much," Lucas said with the Carlin pout.

Spencer smiled at her son, "Ok Buddy, give Momma a hug and I'll go get Hannah up." Without another look at her wife, Spencer strode out of the room.

Ashley looked sadly after her and then bent down to give her small son a big hug, "Good morning little buddy, you ready for some breakfast?" On his enthusiastic nod Ashley took his small hand in hers and led him into the kitchen.

Ashley had just laid out the cereal (even she couldn't stuff up cereal) when Spencer appeared with Hannah in tow. Hannah joined Lucas at the table as Spencer disappeared into the kitchen to get herself some much needed coffee.

Spencer was sipping gingerly out of her cup when she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't have to turn around to know that it was Ashley behind her. Spencer sighed and turned around to face the sad face and hurt brown eyes of her soulmate.

"Spencer what is going on with you? Please don't tell me its nothing or that you're just tired and busy because I'm not buying it and I haven't been buying since the moment you started spinning that shit after you got off the plane. Can't you see that I am worried about you?" Ashley pleaded moving to stand in front of her wife.

Spencer took a deep breath and just shook her head, "Now's not a good time for us to discuss this Ash. The kids are in the next room and we have a full day planned before we fly out in the morning. I'd better go get dressed." Spencer brushed past Ashley and strode down the hall. She locked herself in the bathroom and let the tears fall. This was such a mess!

Ashley blinked back her own tears and went to join the kids. Once they were finished eating she got them dressed and ready for the day before telling them to watch television while she got herself ready. She headed into the master bedroom just in time to see Spencer swallow some pills. "So are you going to at least tell me what you're taking?" Ashley asked as she moved to her wardrobe.

"Painkillers, if you must know. I have a headache," Spencer snapped as she put down her glass of water and got to her feet to walk out. Ashley caught her at the door and pulled Spencer into her arms.

"Baby are we really going to go on like this? Are we really going to fight and be pissed at each other when we only have a day until you go home again? Spencer I don't want to fight with you, I love you," Ashley said refusing to release her hold on her wife.

"Ash…fuck I don't want to fight with you either. Will you please just stop asking me what's wrong? I promised you I would go and see the doctor when I get back to L.A. and I will. Once I have I'll tell you what the doctor says, until then can you please just drop it?" Spencer pleaded tiredly.

Ashley sighed. She was dying to know what was going on with her wife, but she didn't want them to spend the next twenty four hours fighting like they had for most of Spencer and the kids visit. "Ok Spencer you win, I'll stop asking, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you."

"Ok. You'd better get ready, the kids are going to get impatient soon and we have a lot to fit into today," Spencer murmured as she slipped out of Ashley's arms and walked over to pick up her purse and shoes. "We'll wait for you in the living room."

Ashley rubbed her eyes and hurried to get ready, Spencer was right they had a lot to fit into the day. She just hoped her wife was going to be alright.

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	7. Words Said In Anger

**I am humbled by the reviews, thank you.**

**MrsMusgraveTNG – give her time, it'll happen**

**nightwish fan – Thanks, that really means a lot to me**

**.alex – of course I am! I'm evil like that**

**mutt009 – yes, yes I do. I get a perverse kind of thrill out of torturing you guys, but I promise you won't have to wait too much longer**

**somthgIlike2do – I agree both women are on an emotional rollercoaster. Spencer's fear is what kept her from going to the doctor in New York. I hope the next few chapters will answer your questions**

**zmaster07 – Thanks! I promise there are only a few more chapter until I reveal what's wrong with Spencer**

**REZ18 – Yeah I can admit my evil ways lol. Aw your happy dance made me do a happy dance! Take care**

**WillowOn3 – Yeah that's why it's called **_**Sorta**_** Fairytale lol. I promise all will be clear very soon, I thank you in advance for your patience lol**

**Shanemmac16 – Haha, thanks. I promise that over the next few chapters all will be out in the open**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Seven – Words Said In Anger**

Spencer stifled another yawn as she trudged from the lift to the door of their hotel room with a very tired and moody five year old boy in her arms. It had been a huge day and it had taken its toll on Moms and kids a like. Spencer felt as though she had walked every street in New York City and seen every tourist attraction known to man. It had been rather full on.

Ashley unlocked the door and led the way inside with Hannah on her back. She carried their daughter over to the sofa and gently let her down. Hannah sagged limply onto the couch and yawned as she rubbed her big bright blue eyes.

Spencer followed them in and sat Lucas down on the sofa next to his sister. Poor little guy was completely worn out, which made him a tad grumpy. "Ok guys it's time to get ready for bed now, we have an early flight tomorrow." Spencer said softly, stroking the silky blonde hair of both her children.

Hannah got tiredly to her feet and headed off to the bathroom. Lucas pouted and stomped after her, "Hannah I get a bath first coz I'm tireder than you!" Lucas cried out.

Spencer sighed, "I'd better go sort this out before world war three starts!" Spencer murmured to Ashley before she walked wearily out of the room. Ashley went into the kid's rooms and got them some pajamas to wear to bed and followed Spencer to the bathroom.

"No Luke I was here first so that means I get a bath first!" Hannah snapped.

"Hannah! That's not fair! You're bigger than me so you can stay up later! You're being mean!" Lucas cried as big tears began rolling down his face.

"Hey you two stop this right now! You can both get ready for bed at the same time, Hannah you can use the bath in Momma and Mommy's room while I get your brother ready in here," Spencer said, trying to reason with two very overtired, emotional and grumpy children.

"No that's not fair! Luke cries like a big baby and he gets what he wants. He always gets what he wants, you love him more than me!" Hannah's lower lip began trembling as she crossed her arms over her chest, in a very Spencer like pose.

Spencer sighed and tried to reason with the seven year old, "No Hannah that's not true at all. We love you both the same, what does it matter where you have your bath Sweetie? All this arguing is just meaning you two are staying up later when you both just want to go to sleep. This is silly."

"No it's not! You're being mean Mommy, you're always mean to me! You go away and then at home you are tired and grumpy, you don't love us!" Hannah yelled. Spencer stepped back as though her daughter had struck her.

"Hannah Davies, that's enough! Now you apologise to your Mommy right now!" Ashley bellowed from the doorway walking into the bathroom.

"No I won't! She's never around even when she is at home, she's always sleeping or working. She's a bitch and I hate her!" Hannah screamed. Lucas was looking from Hannah to Ashley to Spencer with horror on his face. Hannah looked shocked at the words that had just spilled out of her mouth, it was pretty clear that she had not intended to say them.

Spencer staggered back, her hand over her heart as tears filled her eyes. She had never heard her daughter raise her voice like that before and had never heard her say such cruel things. Spencer turned on her heel and bolted from the room.

Ashley watched her wife run from the room and then turned and glared at her daughter, more angry that she had ever felt towards one of her children, "Hannah what you just said is unacceptable. Firstly, you never, and I mean never speak to or about someone like that, especially your Mommy who loves you so much and would do anything for you. Secondly, don't you dare use the word bitch again. I am so disappointed in you, you really hurt Mommy's feelings and I will not tolerate you treating her like that."

Hannah hung her head in shame as tears began falling down her face. Ashley made Hannah go and sit in her room until Lucas had his bath and then got Hannah into the bathroom. Once Hannah was bathed and ready for bed Ashley took her into the master bedroom where they found Spencer in bed lying on her side with tears on her face.

"Hannah, do you have something you want to say to Mommy?" Ashley demanded looking sternly down at her daughter, feeling like she was channeling her mother in law (which was kind of alarming).

Hannah took a hesitant step towards the bed as Spencer shifted into a sitting position so that she was facing her daughter. "Mommy I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said before. I don't hate you, I love you Mommy and I'm very sorry," Hannah said quietly, not quite able to meet Spencer's eyes.

Spencer got up from the bed and knelt down in front of her daughter, "Why did you say those things Baby Girl?" Hannah just shrugged, "Ok then, I love you too Hannah. Please don't ever speak to anyone like that ever again."

"I won't I promise. Good night Mommy," Hannah hesitantly put her arms around her mother and gave her a hug. Spencer wrapped her daughter up in a warm embrace. Hannah clutched onto her mother hard, hoping to express just how sorry she was.

Hannah adored Spencer and wanted to grow up to be just like her Mommy. She was just tired and it had gotten the better of her. It made her so sad that she'd upset her mother like that.

"Good night Baby Girl," She murmured into her daughter's silky hair. Spencer released Hannah with a tender kiss on the forehead. Hannah mumbled good night to Ashley, who she was scared would start yelling again, and bolted from the room to go to bed.

Spencer got shakily to her feet, feeling sick and worn out as she climbed back under the covers. "Are you ok Spence?" Ashley asked gently standing beside the bed looking at her wife with concern.

"Um no, not really. I have never heard her speak like that to anyone and I wasn't expecting to hear it directed towards me until she was a hormonal teenager. I guess it just hurt. I know she's tired and grumpy, but those kind of things don't just come out, she has to have been thinking them before. God Ashley I must be really fucking up!" Spencer closed her eyes against the rising tears and curled up on her side.

Ashley slid off her clothes and slipped into bed in her bra and underwear, "Baby, Hannah loves you and you are an excellent mother. She was just tired and I know she has been worried about you. She didn't mean any of what she said," Ashley murmured as she wrapped her arm around Spencer's waist to pull her close against her body.

"But what if she did mean it Ash? What if she really does hate me?" Spencer cried.

"Honey if you are going to take it personally every time one of the kids tells you the hate you then you are going to be miserable a lot. Spencer kids say mean things sometimes and more often than not they don't mean them. Hell adults do the same! Spencer she just needed an object to direct her frustration and exhaustion at and unfortunately it was you this time. I'm sure next time I'll be the evil bitch who she hates," Ashley said kindly as she ran her hand up and down her wife's arm soothingly.

Spencer let out a tired chuckle and intertwined her fingers with Ashley's. Ashley tightened her hold on her wife, well aware that in the morning she would once again be alone in New York while her family would be back in California. She wanted to freeze time and keep her family with her, or better yet go home to L.A.

They lay in each others arms for a long time and then Ashley kissed her wife's neck gently, almost hesitantly. She was remembering the last time she had tried to initiate intimacy with her wife and how badly that had gone. Spencer tilted her head to give Ashley better access to her neck, which Ashley took as her cue to make a move. Spencer was just hoping that in the dark Ashley would not notice the bruises on her body and start asking questions that she really didn't have any answers to.

Ashley rained kissed down over the exposed skin of her wife's throat as she began inching the t-shirt Spencer was wearing over her torso. Spencer turned to lie on her back and raised her arms so Ashley could get her top off. Once the t-shirt was gone Ashley moved to straddle Spencer's thighs. She gazed down into her wife's eyes as she undid her own bra and discarded it over the side of the bed.

Spencer put her hands on Ashley's waist and lowered her wife so that she was lying on top of her, their breast pressed deliciously together. Ashley kissed Spencer roughly on the lips only to have her pull away, "What is it Spencer?" Ashley asked somewhat breathlessly.

"I need you to make love to me Ashley," Spencer breathed out, that was her way of telling her wife that she wanted it gentle and loving as opposed to passionate and hungry.

Ashley smiled lovingly at her wife and leaned in to kiss her once again. This time the kiss was soft and gentle, loving instead of rough and hungry. Spencer tangled her hands in her wife's curls and savoured the tender kisses.

Ashley kissed a trail from her wife's lips to her neck and down across her collar bone. She kissed her way down to Spencer's breasts, which were rising and falling with her laboured breathing. They quickly, but gently removed the remaining articles of clothing that each other was wearing.

Ashley trailed her hands gently over her wife's body, wanting to express through her touch how much she loved her and how much she had missed her. As Ashley went to kiss her way down her wife's body, Spencer pulled her face up to hers and whispered breathlessly, "I need you up here with me."

Ashley nodded and kissed her tenderly on the lips and she slowly dragged her hands down Spencer's body. Spencer mirrored her wife's movements with her own hands as they each dropped adoring kisses on and around each others lips.

They began to move together, their bodies writhing towards impending ecstasy. Hands worked and mouths tasted as each woman was brought to the edge. They crashed over together, clutching tightly to one another in the aftermath.

Spencer rolled out from under her wife and turned on her side, pulling Ashley's arm around her waist and holding onto her hand tightly. Ashley snuggled into her wife's back and placed gentle kisses along the sweat slicked skin at the back of her neck and shoulders.

Spencer lay in the dark in her wife's arms and cried silently, not wanting Ashley to see her tears. That moment with Ashley had been beautiful, sensual and wonderful, but it just made her fears rise to the surface, especially as she tried to stop Ashley noticing the bruises on her body.

She had known for a while now that something was seriously wrong with her, it had gotten to the point now where it was noticeable to those around her and impacting on the people she loved the most.

Spencer lay there in the dark and listened as her wife's breathing evened out as she drifted off to sleep, her warm breath tickling the back of Spencer's neck. She knew that she had to get to the doctor when she got home, there was not doubt in her mind that once she did, her life was going to change.

It was the damnedest thing the fear of finding out what was wrong with her was almost paralyzing. Spencer snuggled back into the loving arms around her and fell into a troubled sleep.

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	8. Leavin On A Jet Plane

**Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews, and for your patience. Much love to you all!**

**MrsMusgraveTNG – Yeah Hannah was a little harsh, sadly that scene was inspired by a fight I had as a kid with my Mum. We'll see what happens after their night together.**

**somthgIlike2do – Ashley does worship her wife, and I felt it was about time they got to express their love physically. Hannah was harsh but your right it was her fear talking more than anything.**

**LoveAsh87, hugbuddy13 & ilovemyself26 – Thank you so much for your reviews**

**2bz2breading – Thanks. Spencer is not ignoring her body, but fear is a powerful thing which is why she hasn't done anything about her health as yet. As for Ashley, I'd just say there isn't much she won't do for her wife. **

**WillowOn3 – LOL I love your reviews, they always make me laugh! Fear is a damn powerful thing, definitely a big motivator. Thanks honey!**

**Shanemmac16 – Thank you so much. I would love to tell you what's going on with Spencer, but I won't because I have already written the chapter which reveals it and it is not far away, plus you're right I love holding people in suspense. I am honoured that you want to keep reading my work, it still baffles me that people actually read the crap I write. I know it was mean of me to have Hannah swear at Spencer, but it felt real. Thanks again**

**mutt009 – Oh yeah Hannah really let her Mom have it. Sorry I made you sad, but you're right the tear moments are not over yet.**

**Coachkimm – Thanks! Within a few chapters I will be revealing what is going on with Spencer, so stay tuned!**

**Oh and usual disclaimer, SoN not mine…sadly **

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Eight – Leavin On A Jet Plane**

Ashley woke up alone yet again. If she was being honest she had been looking forward to waking up with her wife in her arms during her family's visit, but apparently her wife had become compulsive about getting up at the crack of dawn.

In reality Spencer had slipped out of bed early to make sure Ashley would not see the bruises on her body in the morning light that streamed in through the huge windows of their hotel room. It had been hard enough hiding them in the dark, Spencer knew she'd have buckley's chance of hiding them in the daylight.

Although when asked, Spencer would say that she got up early to make sure everything was packed and ready for her and the kids to fly back to L.A.

Ashley slid from the bed and pulled a black silk robe on over naked body. She checked the bathroom for her wife and not finding her, went on a search of the hotel room. She looked everywhere and was starting to get a little concerned when she found Spencer snuggled up to Hannah in her bed. Mother and daughter looked so peaceful as they slept, mirror images.

Ashley smiled adoringly and snuck off to the get the camera to capture the moment. The flash brought Spencer from her slumber and she smiled tiredly up at her grinning wife as Ashley snapped another photo.

Spencer went to climb out of bed only to have Hannah snuggle closer to her, preventing her from moving. Ashley giggled a little and snapped off a few more photos, before leaving them there so she could get dressed and sort out breakfast.

With her usual impeccable timing Spencer emerged from the children's room with two very awake kids just as room service brought up their breakfast feast. "I thought seeing as you guys are going home today we'd have a special big breakfast," Ashley announced with a beaming smile.

Spencer smiled indulgently as their kids raced towards the table, only Ashley noticed that the smile did not reach her eyes, which actually looked red as though she had been crying. While the kids dug into their breakfast Ashley walked over to her wife and pulled her into a gentle hug. Ashley was scared to squeezed to tight, given how fragile her wife looked.

Placing a tender kiss on Spencer's lips Ashley murmured, "Are you alright Baby?"

Spencer smiled reassuringly, "Yeah I'm fine, just trying to remember everything I need to do before we get on the plane this morning, oh and so not looking forward to another cross country flight with two kids who will be over excited and probably crying for their Momma."

"Yeah I don't envy you!" Spencer swatted Ashley on the arm as they both giggled. "Seriously Baby it'll be ok, we'll get you guys on the plane even though I desperately want to keep you all here with me," Ashley murmured holding her wife closer.

"I know Honey and if we could stay we would, but I have to get the kids back to school and I have to get back to work, we start casting this week and you know what a nightmare that can be," Spencer said with a loving smile.

"Yeah I know, I'm just going to miss you guys so much when you leave," Ashley said quietly.

"I know Baby, but it's not forever and you'll be home with us soon," Spencer dropped a soft kiss on her wife's pouting lips and said, "Now let's get some breakfast before our two little monsters eat it all on us." Ashley laughed and followed her wife to the table.

They enjoyed a loud and rather boisterous breakfast with their children. Once again Ashley couldn't help but frown at the minute amount of food her wife consumed. Spencer was fearful of getting nauseous on the plane so limited the food she ate, of course she didn't want to have to explain that to her wife.

After breakfast there was a mad rush as Spencer and Ashley tried to get their children ready to go, while at the same time packing the last of the kid's stuff. Spencer also tried to get herself ready and pack the last of her own belongings. It was the typical morning rush coupled with the stress of getting ready for their cross country flight. In other words, it was total madness.

At one point Lucas was screaming blue murder because Hannah had stolen his Knicks jersey and wouldn't give it back. Ashley was trying to get him to give it back by chasing him around the hotel suit while he squealed excitedly and ran away from her. Spencer was trying to wrestle their suitcases to the door so that Ashley's assistant could get them down to the car.

Finally she'd had enough. "Will you stop this nonsense right now!" Spencer yelled, almost turning red in her anger and then wincing when she heard herself channelling Paula. Ashley and the kids froze and stared at Spencer like three deers caught in headlights. "Lucas stop screaming like that! Hannah give your brother back his jersey right now and Ashley you know better than to chase him around like that! It just makes it seem like a game! My God it's like having three children sometimes, you three are impossible!" Spencer bellowed as she swung her bag up on to her shoulder and headed to the door, "I'll meet you down stairs!"

Ashley smiled sheepishly at her kids who both looked guiltily up at their Momma, "Well I guess it's safe to say we kinda pissed Mommy off huh?" All three of them started to giggle.

Hannah handed Lucas' jersey back over to him just as Spencer came back through the door with a grin on her face, "I knew I'd find the three of you up here laughing, I hope it's not at me." Spencer arched her perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"Uh no of course not!" Ashley stammered, her guilt far too obvious.

"Kids tell Momma that she is a very bad liar," Spencer rolled her eyes and said teasingly, making the kids laugh. "Ok now let's get out of here, we have a plane to catch," Spencer said smiling fondly at her family, her anger forgotten.

Ashley frowned sadly at her wife as they walked towards the door. She was dreading the loneliness that would descend on her once her family was on that plane and headed for home. She was also concerned about leaving her wife alone to look after the kids when she was clearly not well.

Ashley knew her wife and knew that Spencer would put everyone and everything ahead of herself without Ashley there to kick her ass and make her look after herself. Ashley sighed and followed her family down to the car, which already had their belongings packed into it. Spencer got the kids secured in the back seat and then climbed in the front beside Ashley, who had elected to drive them herself rather than have the driver for the day.

The drive to the airport was filled with excited chatter from the kids and silence from their mothers. Spencer clutched her wife's hand in hers, dreading their impending separation. As difficult as it was trying to hide how shit she was feeling from her wife, Spencer felt comforted by just having her beside her.

After a drive that felt much too short, even in the insane New York traffic, Ashley pulled into a parking space at JFK airport. She forced a smile onto her face as she turned to face the kids. "Ok you two make sure you don't leave anything in the car or your Mommy will make me put it in the mail," Ashley teased.

Hannah and Lucas scrambled around the backseat of the car collecting their back packs, jackets and other bits and pieces. Ashley turned to Spencer and gave her an adoring smile, "Ok my love let's get you guys home."

Spencer smiled tenderly as she climbed out of the car. Ashley went and grabbed a trolley to load the suitcases on while Spencer made sure the kids had their carry on luggage all ready to go.

Once the luggage was loaded onto the trolley Ashley led her family into the terminal and got them checked in. she felt like time was moving too fast, racing as it prepared to take her family away and leave her alone again.

Ashley scooped Lucas up in her arms as she walked them to the gate to wait for them to board the plane. The kids were still talking excitedly as both Spencer and Ashley stayed quiet, just holding hands and taking in the moment together. They sat down on some seats near the gate and Spencer rested her head on her wife's shoulder.

"How much longer will you be here Babe?" Spencer murmured.

"Not entirely sure, as short a time as humanly possible. I hate being away from you guys and I feel like we didn't get nearly enough time together this weekend," Ashley said softly.

Spencer ducked her head and looked at the floor guiltily, "Yeah that's my fault, sorry I was such a moody bitch this weekend Ash. God why do you put up with me?"

"Well baby, someone has to," Ashley teased. Seeing Spencer pout Ashley laughed and corrected herself, "You know I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you, even when you're moody. I know you haven't been feeling well and I just want you to be ok. I really do love you Mrs Carlin-Davies."

Spencer grinned and kissed her wife lovingly on her lips, "I love you too."

"Mommy! Can I go look at the plane?" Lucas asked tugging on Spencer's hand.

Spencer smiled indulgently at her son, "Sure little Buddy, I'll come with you ok?" Lucas nodded as Spencer kissed Ashley gently on the cheek and got up to let her son drag her over to the huge widows so he could look out at the planes.

Ashley smiled and pulled Hannah onto her lap. She really felt so blesses to have such a wonderful family. Spencer, holding tight to Lucas' hand turned and sent a loving smile back at Ashley and Hannah.

"_Could all passengers on flight A214 to Los Angeles please make their way to gate 14 as boarding is commencing now."_ came an announcement over the pa system. Ashley sighed sadly and got to her feet as Spencer and Lucas walked back over.

"Time to get on the plane Mommy!" Lucas gushed excitedly.

"Yeah little man, it is," Spencer said as her eyes locked on Ashley's.

"Ok my darlings time to get you on the plane. Thank you for coming to see me," Ashley murmured as she pulled their kids into a hug. Spencer stood back, smiling sadly as her kids clung to their Momma and told her how much they were going to miss her.

"Oh my babies, I'll miss you too! But it won't be long and before you know it Momma will be home again," Ashley said, her voice starting to get a little choked up as she held the children tightly in her arms.

Spencer looked on sadly, hating to see her wife so upset. Ashley gave each child a kiss on the forehead and slowly got to her feet. Mocha eyes locked on cerulean as Spencer and Ashley stepped into each other's arms as if pulled together by magnets.

Ashley wrapped her arms around her wife and held her close. Spencer buried her face in Ashley's neck and tried to keep her tears at bay. "Ash I'm sorry I was such a bitch this weekend, I love you so much and I'm sorry I wasted so much of our time together being angry," Spencer murmured, her lips brushing the skin of Ashley's throat.

Ashley shivered at the touch and whispered, "Its ok Baby, a weekend fighting with you is better than spending a month without you. I love you and God am I going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too my Darling," Spencer murmured as she placed a tender kiss on her wife's neck. Ashley cupped Spencer's face in her hands and brought their lips together in a tender, passionate kiss. Spencer tangled her hands in Ashley curls and moaned as Ashley deepened the kiss. They kissed hungrily, each tasting the sweetness of the other mixed with the salt from their tears.

"Mommy, we gotta get on the plane now!" Lucas called out.

Spencer reluctantly pulled back from her wife and kissed her lovingly on the cheek, "We have to go Baby. I'll call you as soon as we land ok?"

Ashley blinked back tears and nodded, "Ok. I love you."

"I love you too," Spencer murmured. She picked up her purse and her carry on bag before taking her children's hands. "We'll see you soon my love."

Ashley nodded again, her lip trembling as she fought the urge to cry even more, "Yeah you will, good bye my darlings."

Hannah and Lucas yelled out their goodbyes as Spencer started to lead them to the gate. Locking her eyes on her wife's Spencer mouthed, "See you soon Baby."

Ashley stood and watched until her family had walked out of her sight. She walked over to the window and stood there until she saw the plane take off, taking her family back home and away from her. Sighing sadly, Ashley wandered out of the airport and got in her car.

Without her family here New York seemed dreary and lifeless. _I'll be home soon,_ Ashley vowed to herself as she drove towards the hotel.

_I'll be home soon._

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	9. Back To Reality

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**Ethiogirl – Aw thanks, Spencer is off to the doc I promise**

**sunsetstrip2010 – Thanks, unsettlingly believable huh? I take that as a good thing. I did a lot of research for this fic so I hope it's paying off**

**ashikinz – Thanks so much**

**.alex – Hehe nope no cliff hanger for chapter 8, I'm sure there will be more in future chapters though!**

**DontMindBnCrazy – Sure you can, blame me all you want! Thanks heaps I'm so glad you're liking this story and because of your begging here is another update!**

**Shanemmac16 – Thanks for another great review. I promise that in chapter 9 & 10 all will be made clear**

**slushhy – I won't give away the story but I have to admit there are some rough times ahead. Thanks for the review**

**MrsMusgraveTNG – sorry to depress you, this fic is not exactly meant to make you happy dance**

**ilovemyself26 – Thank you, I kind of see it in my head like a movie as I'm writing it so I'm glad I'm not the only one**

**grangergirl22 – I couldn't let Spencer leave without making things right between them. Thank you so much for your kind words!**

**mutt009 - hehe sorry! I am evil and mean and love torturing you all too much! The big reveal is upon us…in chapter 10 lol**

**Palexobsessed – Yeah I think in this situation both women are heroic. It's a hard situation for them both and they are each handling it as best as they can. Hey no worries about the reviews, just glad you're reading my stuff and liking it!**

**WillowOn3 – Yeah this is not a black and white situation, both women are hurting and struggling with what's going on. You're 100% right they are both pretty effed up. Honey you can root for who ever you like! Thanks for the review!**

**CoachKimm, 2bz2breading and juliagulia2010 – Thanks for reviewing**

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Nine – Back to Reality**

Spencer dropped her phone on top of her bed. She and the children had been home for about a day now and it had literally been like they'd never been away. Spencer had gone right back to work, casting started the next day so things were crazy for her at the moment, and the kids had gone back to school that morning, both excited to share their New York stories with their friends.

They had been forced to go around to Spencer's parent's house for dinner that night and had just gotten home. Spencer loved her folks but a night with them was exhausting, because they tended to get the kids pretty riled up which meant she had to spend ages calming them down so that they would go to bed.

Paula and Arthur love being grandparents and took every opportunity to spoil all their grand kids rotten. It had been a loud night full of excited chatter about New York and how much they already missed their Momma, Spencer was missing her too and really angry at herself for the way she had treated her wife while they were in New York. Her fear and worry did not justify her treatment of the woman she loved more than anyone (besides her kids).

Spencer was thankful that her parents were so engrossed in her children, it saved them asking questions about how tired she looked and how little she was eating. Spencer was feeling exhausted from having to hide how shit she was really feeling, but she was determined not to tell anyone until she knew what was going on. She had called her doctor (or gotten her assistant to) and had an appointment for the next morning, which she was terrified about.

After a delicious meal made by Grandpa (of which Spencer had eaten exactly three bites) Spencer bundled up her kids and brought them home to bed. Pretty much as soon as the kids were asleep she had her assistant on the phone with her schedule for the next day. It sounded exhausting, but truth be told most things sounded exhausting to her these days.

Spencer headed into the bathroom and stripped off her clothes. Looking in the mirror Spencer sighed. Her body was still a mess of bruises, some fading and some very new. She felt wretched, tired, weak and very nauseous, plus she was beyond scared about her doctor's appointment the next morning.

Almost crying from fatigue Spencer stepped into the show and began washing her body. She ran her hands up her sides and then suddenly stopped. _Oh my God_! She thought as her hand connected with something she was not expecting. She searched the area under her fingers, hoping against hope that she was mistaken, that it was just her imagination making her feel things that weren't really there. After a few minutes Spencer knew she wasn't just imagining things. She hugged her arms tightly around her body and slid down the shower wall as sobs tore violently through her body.

She sat there for the longest time, until the water had turned cold causing her to shiver. Spencer rose unsteadily to her feet and turned off the water. Wrapping a big towel around her still trembling body Spencer stumbled into the bedroom and sunk heavily onto her and Ashley's bed.

Laying her body down on the bed Spencer cried until sleep took her and she drifted off.

Spencer woke up the next morning shivering, sleeping in just a towel with wet hair will do that to you. She climbed out of bed and began her morning ritual, ignoring her aching joints and desire to just go back to bed for a few hours.

Once she was dressed Spencer woke up the kids and started getting them ready for school. Leading her kids down stairs for breakfast Spencer greeted their house keeper, "Good morning Rose."

"Good Morning Spencer, hey kids, you want some waffles for breakfast?" Rose asked with her usual beaming smile. Both children enthusiastically expressed their approval and ran to sit at the table. "Will you be having some Spencer?" Rose asked in a very motherly tone.

Rose had been working for them for years, since Hannah was born and had become very fond of them. She had been noticing for a while now how unwell Spencer had been looking and was very worried about the younger woman.

"Thank you Rose, but I'll just have some coffee please," Spencer said quietly as she joined the children at the table. Rose sighed and went to get their breakfast ready.

"Lucas you have basketball after school today and Uncle Glen is going to pick you up and take you and Clay then bring you home after ok?" Spencer asked ruffling her small son's hair as Rose sat their breakfast on the table. Clay was Glen's six year old son, named for their brother who had passed away after being shot at their junior prom.

Glen and his wife, Chelsea had been married about eight years and had two children, Clay and Tahlia who had just turned two.

"Ok Mommy," Lucas mumbled through a mouthful of waffles.

"Luke please don't talk with you mouthful," Spencer admonished with a slight smile. Lucas grinned guiltily and turned back to his food.

Spencer chuckled and sipped her coffee. "Hannah you have dance class today, your teacher called and switched your class to today instead of tomorrow. I called Grandma and she is going to take you and then drop you off at Aunty Kyla's so you can play with Emma, is that alright Baby Girl?" Spencer asked her daughter.

Hannah swallowed her food before answering, "Sure Mommy thanks!"

"You're welcome Sweetheart," Spencer beamed at her daughter and took another drink of coffee.

Emma was Aiden and Kyla's daughter and was eight years old. Kyla loved to lord it over Ashley that she'd had a baby first and that Ashley had just copied her. Ashley usually just threw back that she and Spencer had gotten married first, and the sibling rivalry continued.

Once the children had finished their breakfast Spencer ushered them upstairs and finished getting them ready while Rose prepared their lunches. After getting them ready Spencer led them downstairs where she checked they had everything, packed their lunches in their school bags and said goodbye to Rose.

"Come on you two, time for school," Spencer said as she led them out of the house and down to her car, a silver Lexus SUV which had been a present from Ashley at her last birthday.

Spencer dropped the kids off at school and then drove herself to the doctors, a feeling of dread settling over her. She had the worst feeling that this doctor's visit was not going to provide good news.

Parking in front of the doctor's office Spencer swallowed down her rising panic and climbed out of her car. _Ok this is it, time to find out what is going on with me_, Spencer thought to herself. Taking a deep breath Spencer pushed open the door and strode in.

------

After work Spencer picked up her children from their relatives' and drove them home. She fought to keep her attention on their excited retelling of their days, but her mind was completely consumed with what had happened at the doctor's office that morning. Parking her car Spencer grabbed her things and opened the door for Lucas as Hannah jumped out and raced to the front door where a familiar figure stood with a beaming smile.

"Momma!" Hannah yelled as she barrelled into Ashley's waiting arms.

"Hey Princess, God it's good to see you!" Ashley gushed as she held her daughter close. Lucas dropped his school bag and bolted to his mother. Hannah grinned and stepped back to let her little brother get his hug too. "Hey little man, I missed you buddy!" Ashley said as she dropped kisses on the top of Lucas' messy blonde hair.

"I missed you too Momma! Are you home for good?" Lucas asked, his voice muffled by Ashley's shoulder.

"Yeah little Man I am, I'm not going anywhere for a while," Ashley released her son and stood up to greet her wife. Spencer had her hands full with her work stuff and Lucas' school bag so she just gave her a smile and a quick peck on the cheek. It wasn't quite the welcome home Ashley was expecting.

"Glad you're back Ash, I missed you," Spencer murmured as she followed the kids into the house. Ashley frowned and walked in behind her. Spencer looked positively exhausted and if possible even thinner. Ashley was immediately concerned.

"Ok my darlings go and get started on your homework and I'll get some dinner made," Spencer said as she leaned down and gave each child a kiss on the forehead. The both ran off with their school bags while Spencer headed into the kitchen.

Spencer had mixed feelings about seeing her wife again. First and foremost she was so happy she wanted to cry and cling to Ashley, but then came the fear. She didn't know what she was going to tell her wife about her doctor's appointment that morning.

Ashley watched her wife wander into the kitchen and followed behind her. She was concerned about her lacklustre welcome home from her wife, the most unenthused response she had gotten from Spencer in the entire, almost 14 years they'd known one another. Spencer was pulling out ingredients to prepare dinner when Ashley strode in. "Hey Baby, are you alright?" Ashley asked tentatively.

"Sure, I'm fine Ash," Spencer mumbled, keeping her back to Ashley as she started chopping ingredients hastily.

"Ok you know what Spencer, I have let you lie to me for long enough. Now I know there is something wrong with you and I know you're trying to protect me or whatever, but this is bullshit! I am your wife! I promised you for better, for worse, in sickness and in health so please give me a chance to be there for you. Just tell me what is going on with you!" Ashley cried desperately.

Spencer dropped the knife and held onto the counter so tight her knuckles were completely white. Her shoulders tensed and her breathing became erratic as she fought to control her emotions. After a minute of silence Ashley threw up her hands in frustration, "Would you please talk to me Spence?!"

Spencer took a deep breath to steady herself and then muttered, "Back off." It was said so quietly that Ashley wasn't sure at first if she'd heard her wife correctly.

"Excuse me?" Ashley asked hurt and confused.

"I said back off. Please Ash would you just back off," Spencer muttered through gritted teeth, keeping her back to her wife so that Ashley couldn't see her tears. Spencer couldn't get into it now, she knew that once she started talking she would lose it and she didn't want the kids to see her so distraught.

Ashley spun on her heel and bolted from the room. She loved Spencer so much but couldn't stand being used as a punching bag. She knew Spencer, probably better than she knew herself, and she knew that whatever was going on with her had to be pretty huge if it was making her act the way she was.

Dinner than night was filled with excited chatter between Ashley and the children while Spencer picked at her food and fought the urge to cry. She was scared and feeling like death warmed up, not to mention she felt furious with herself for treating her wife so horribly.

As soon as dinner was over Ashley offered to help the kids with their homework and put them to bed. Spencer thanked her and then hightailed it to their bedroom. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Spencer slid down the wood and buried her head in her hands. She sobbed brokenly, her body trembling with the force of her cries. What she didn't know was that Ashley was standing on the other side of their door listening to her tears and crying softly as well.

Ashley put a hand on the door and closed her eyes. She figured she'd give Spencer some space and get the kids settled, then whether her wife liked it or not they were having a conversation. It was time to get everything out in the open.

After putting the kids to bed Ashley tidied up the kitchen and headed to her and Spencer's bedroom. Her feet felt heavy and she was dreading the confrontation she knew was about to happen. She was prepared to fight if need be, she had to know what was going on with her wife.

Ashley eased open the bedroom door, not in anyway prepared for the sight that met her. Spencer was curled up in a ball on their big bed, sobbing brokenly into a pillow to muffle the sounds. Ashley's anger melted away and she raced to her wife's side.

"Baby, what is it? Darling what is going on?" Ashley asked, desperation and fear evident in her almost hysterical tone. Spencer stayed silent and just cried harder. Ashley pulled her wife into her arms and tried to comfort her to no avail. Rocking the sobbing woman gently and whispering nonsensical words of comfort, Ashley finally got Spencer's sobs to lessen.

"Please Spencer tell me what is going on, I can't stand seeing you like this and not knowing why. Please Baby, would you please tell me?" Ashley begged as tears ran down her cheeks.

Spencer pulled back out of her arms and sat against the headboard of their bed. She looked into her wife's eyes and laughed harshly, "I'm actually surprised you didn't notice it before I did considering how well you know my body."

Ashley fixed her with a look of intense confusion, "What are you talking about Baby?"

"I found a lump Ashley," Spencer murmured.

"What? What do you mean you found a lump?" Ashley asked as this feeling of dread settled firmly over her.

"I mean exactly what I said. I found a smallish lump in my left armpit, pretty close to my breast. That coupled with how weak, tired and sick I have been feeling the last month or so, I guess it's pretty obvious that there is something seriously wrong with me," Spencer murmured tearfully.

Ashley pulled her wife into her arms and held her close. "Baby have you been to the doctor?" Ashley asked quietly.

Spencer nodded against her wife's chest and choked out, "I went this morning. They did some blood tests and want to do a needle biopsy of the lump. I'm scared Ash."

"Oh Baby, I know. I'm scared too Honey, but no matter what we'll get through this. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. What happens now?" Ashley murmured, kissing the top of her wife's head tenderly.

"Uh the doctor was putting a rush on the results, I'm going to see him tomorrow and then I find out what's going on. I'm sorry I have been so awful to you Ash. Its just that I knew something was really wrong and I didn't want to worry you until I knew there was something to be worried about," Spencer cried.

"Shhh, it's ok Baby, I understand. You don't need to apologise, just promise me you'll let me in. Let me be here for you my love," Ashley whispered into her wife's silky hair.

"I will, God I'm so sorry. I need you Ash, so much," Spencer sobbed brokenly as she clung to her wife.

"I know Baby, and I'm here I promise. I'm coming to the doctor with you tomorrow, what time is your appointment?" Ashley asked as she held her wife against her.

"It's at 2, but you can't come Ash I know you have the huge meeting with your production team tomorrow afternoon. Look its just one appointment and I'll be ok, just go to your meeting and I can tell you all about it when you get home," Spencer argued.

"Spencer there is no way in hell I'm letting you go alone to this appointment. I have to be there," Ashley stated.

"It's alright Love, Mom is coming with me. I didn't call her by the way, I bumped into her at the hospital. So you see I won't be by myself," Spencer said, her voice muffled by her wife's chest.

They argued back and forth for a while until Spencer was able to convince a very reluctant Ashley that she didn't have to go with her to the doctor's the next day, well basically Spencer had to threaten Ashley with divorce to get her to stay away from the appointment. They eventually fell asleep in each others arms, both exhausted from the intense emotions swirling within them.

* * *

**Ok my lovely patient readers in the next chapter I will be revealing what is wrong with Spencer…stay tuned!**


	10. Now You Know

**Usually I respond to your reviews up here, but I haven't this time because I know you are all eager to find out what is going on. See end of the chapter for responses.**

**As promised, here is where I reveal what is wrong with Spencer.**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Ten ****– Now You Know**

Ashley wandered into her darkened house, hours later than she had intended. The meeting with her production team had run very late and then there had been a massive crisis with one of her bands, a scandal that threatened to get leaked involving a singer and…well let's just leave it at escort, which she had to deal with. Hours of damage control later and all was good and sorted and she was finally home.

Ashley walked into the living room and immediately it hit her that something was very wrong. She had been thinking about her wife all day and her concern was now expressing itself as full blown terror as her instincts kicked into overdrive. As she walked hurriedly towards the stairs Ashley noticed a folded piece of paper with her name on it in her wife's familiar hand writing.

Opening the note Ashley felt the blood rush from her face to pool somewhere around her feet. She read the note quickly before dropping it on the floor and racing upstairs as fast as she could. It read,

_I know you always check on the kids when you get home so I wanted to let you know that they are staying at my parent's tonight so don't worry when you can't find them._

_ S_

Ashley instantly knew that Spencer had gotten some really bad news at her doctor's appointment. The only reason that Spencer would send the kids unexpectedly to her parents was if she felt unable to look after them or needed some time alone, and it took a lot to make Spencer feel unable to care for her children.

Ashley dropped her bag on to the floor and raced along the upstairs hall way into their bedroom. Which is where she found Spencer is lying in their bed staring unseeingly at the ceiling. It was obvious that she had been crying for hours. "Spence…" Ashley began only to be cut off.

"Well it's not good news Ash." Spencer muttered in an emotionless voice, keeping her eyes locked on the ceiling above her as her hands clenched into tight fists as she struggled to keep her composure.

"What did the doctor say Baby? What's going on?" Ashley asked as she moved to sit beside her wife's still form, feeling positively sick that she hadn't gotten home any earlier.

"I have cancer Ashley, Leukemia if you want to be exact. So now you know I guess," Spencer said in a dead voice, devoid of all emotion. Ashley began to cry, violent wracking sobs that shook her petite form. Ashley leaned over and tried to pull Spencer into her arms only to have her pull away.

"Spencer, Baby please…" Ashley murmured tearfully.

"What Ash? What do you want from me?! I'm holding onto my sanity but a fucking thread right now. I have been lying here for hours trying to make this fit in my head. This is too huge for me to cope with, too big for me to comprehend. I can't fucking deal with the fact that I might not survive this, that I might not get to grow old with you or watch my kids grow up. Ashley I might not survive this." Spencer snarled, moving into a sitting position and clenching her hands into fists so tight that her nails were almost drawing blood as they cut into her palm.

Ashley tried unsuccessfully to fight back her tears and whispered, "I'm so sorry my darling. Oh God!"

Spencer froze at the anguish in Ashley's voice and turned to face her wife as tears started to streak their way down her face, "I'm so scared Ashley," she whispered almost inaudibly.

"I know Baby, me too." Spencer began to sob and let Ashley pull her into her arms. Ashley cradled her wife against her chest and rocked her gently as their tears ran in rivers. She had this feeling that if she didn't hold her wife tight enough, if she didn't love her enough then she was going to slip away from her.

They held onto each other as if the other was a life raft and they were drowning in the ocean. Both women sobbed until exhaustion took them over and they fell asleep in each others arms.

Ashley awoke the next morning alone in their huge bed. She glanced at the clock and saw it was barely 5am, a good hour earlier than her wife usually got out of bed. Ashley pulled herself out from under the covers and padded across the room to the door. She was still in the clothes she'd worn yesterday.

Ashley didn't need to search, she knew exactly where to find Spencer. She stepped out their back door and crossed the deck to hop down onto the soft white sand of the beach. She saw a figure sitting in the sand, the tide washing over the seated woman as it rushed to the shore.

Ashley jogged the short distance to her wife's side, tears falling as she took in just how fragile and lost her beautiful wife was and how small she looked next to the expansive ocean. Spencer was staring out at the horizon, letting the cool water wash over her legs as though she wasn't even aware of it.

"Baby, what are you doing out here?" Ashley asked kneeling down beside her wife and laying a tender hand on her shoulder.

"To be honest I don't really know. I just needed to get some air, God I have no idea what I'm doing," Spencer murmured as she stared out at the water. Ashley sat down beside her on the damp sand and wrapped her wife up in her arms. Spencer leaned heavily against her and rested her head on Ashley's shoulder.

"It's ok Baby, it's going to be ok," Ashley murmured, kissing her wife on the crown of her head.

"You don't know that Ashley, you can't," Spencer muttered her eyes still locked on the horizon.

"You're right I can't know that, but I believe it. My Darling, you and I are going to live a long and crazy life together and nothing, not cancer, not anything is going to take that away from us. Our journey is not ending, Baby its still just beginning. I love you so much and we are going to get through this," Ashley said softly.

Spencer turned her face and buried in the crook of her wife's neck as her tears started to flow once again. Ashley held her closer and murmured soothing words into her silky hair. They sat like that for a long time until Spencer began to shiver, sitting in the cold ocean in boxer shorts and a tank top on an overcast morning will do that to you.

Ashley helped her to her feet and then led her inside and upstairs to their bathroom. Helping Spencer undress and get in the shower Ashley left to call her in-laws to check that the kids were alright to get to school.

Ashley dialed the number she had memorized back in high school and waited for someone to answer. "_Hello?_" Paula Carlin said as she picked up the phone.

"Hey Mom its Ashley, how are you?" Ashley said. It had taken about five years of marriage and countless orders from the Carlin matriarch for Ashley to call her Mom, now it felt totally natural.

"_Hi Ash, we're ok, how's our girl_?" Paula asked in a worried tone.

Ashley sighed, "She's not great. I think she's still in a bit of shock and to be honest so am I. I don't know how to help her through this Mom."

"_Ashley all you can do is be there for her. Just show her how much we all know you love her, let her know that no matter what she will not be going through this alone. She will never admit it, that damn Carlin stubbornness, but she is really going to need you. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself too, this is going to be hard on you too,"_ Paula said kindly.

"I promise Mom. Thank you." Ashley murmured.

"_You're welcome Sweetie, and you know that all of us will help you in anyway we can. I've already been on the phone to Spencer's doctor and we have found the best oncologist in L.A. and we organized an appointment for her first thing next week so they talk about treatment options. She also has to go into the hospital this afternoon to have some more tests done. Can you take her_?" Paula said in full doctor mode. Ashley felt truly blessed that her mother-in-law was a doctor and able to help them get the best possible care for her wife.

"Yes I'll take her, I'll call the office and tell them I'm not coming in. Mom do you think you could look after the kids for us and we'll pick them up tonight?" Ashley asked.

"_Of course Sweetie, Arthur is just driving them to school now and Glen will pick them up when he collects Clay, I think he's also picking up Emma so we'll have them all here today_," Paula said kindly.

"Thanks Mom, look I'd better go so I can call work. I'll see you tonight."

"_Ok Sweetie. If you need anything at all call me. Love you_," Paula said.

"Love you too, bye Mom." Ashley hung up the phone and quickly called the office. They were told in no uncertain terms that if they bothered Ashley that day they would all be trawling the classifieds and/or dead.

Once the call was made Ashley headed upstairs to find her wife. She found Spencer getting dressed for work in an almost robotic manner. "Spence, what are you doing? You can't go to work you have an appointment at the hospital this afternoon," Ashley said as she walked in.

"I know, I'm going to work and then I'll go to the doctors from there. I have too much to do for this movie to miss an entire day. You should be getting ready for work too Ash," Spencer said tiredly.

"Baby I'm not going to work, I'm coming with you to the doctors. I already called the office and I am not going in so don't even try to convince me to," Ashley said, preempting Spencer's inevitable attempt to make her go to work.

"Ash," Spencer said shaking her head.

"Don't 'Ash' me Spence, this is not open for discussion I am going to this appointment with you. Hell after all the blood tests and stuff you are not going to be able to drive home so you'll need me, plus I need to know what the doctor says. Spencer I need to be there," Ashley exclaimed, her brow furrowed with desperation.

Spencer nodded and sighed, "Ok, but I still need to go into work. The appointment isn't until 2.30 so I'll go to work and then meet you at the hospital."

"Or how about I drive you to work and then hang around while you do your thing and then we go to the hospital. I've got my laptop so I can do some work while you're at those auditions," Ashley suggested, not keen on being separated from her wife today, she had a feeling if she let Spencer make her own way to the hospital she wouldn't get there. Some crisis would come up, it inevitably did.

Spencer looked like she was going to argue but then just sighed in defeat, "Fine, but I have to leave in 20 minutes so you need to be ready."

"I'm on it Baby, I'll just jump in the shower and meet you downstairs," Ashley leaned in and gently kissed her wife on the lips before darting into the bathroom. Spencer let a small smile cross her lips as she watched Ashley walk away. She was lucky to have such a wonderful woman in her life, lucky that this wonderful woman loved her and wanted to be by her side during one of the most terrifying times of her life.

Twenty minutes later Ashley was driving them towards the New Line Cinema lot where Spencer was working. Spencer had her eyes closed and was leaning back against the smooth leather seat of her Lexus. "You ok my love?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah I'm alright, just tired and feeling kind of achy. Don't worry Baby, I'm ok," Spencer said with a reassuring smile.

Ashley reached over and took her hand and gave it a tender squeeze. Spencer smiled lovingly at her and stroked her knuckles with her thumb. After a fifteen minute drive they arrived at the lot and drove through to Spencer's designated car space. Spencer showed Ashley to her office and then headed down to the meeting room to meet her producers and Sophia Bush, who had already been cast and was attending the call back auditions that day so they could work on getting the chemistry right between the cast.

Spencer walked in and greeted everyone with a kiss on the cheek. "Ok let's get these auditions underway, like I told you yesterday I have to leave here at 2 at the latest today."

Everyone nodded and they got to work. After about four hours of auditions, they had narrowed down the main roles to two different actors per role. Sophia, Len and Kerry (the producers) and Spencer were now in Spencer's office discussing the actors.

"Ok Spencer I really think that Rachel McAdams was the best for this part, she just brought a vulnerability to that character that I think you need so you don't get lost in the cockiness and swagger that she displays," Sophia said as they looked down at the photos of the two actresses they had in mind to play Sophia's co-star.

"You know what I absolutely agree. You two had a real chemistry in that reading, I think it will work," Spencer agreed as the producers nodded enthusiastically. "Ok so that's settled, we cast her. Moving on…"

The next hour was spent making final casting decisions that would now go up to the studio heads for input. Spencer was certain they would be ecstatic with the choices so did not foresee any problems there.

They were just finishing up the meeting when Ashley knocked on the door and stuck her head in, "Sorry to interrupt, but we have an appointment we really need to get to Spence."

Spencer smiled at her wife and got to her feet to pull her fully into the room, "Len, Kerry this is my wife Ashley. Ashley this is Len and Kerry who are producing this movie. You've met Sophia of course."

Ashley shook hands with Len and Kerry and then kissed Sophia on the cheek, "nice to meet you both and lovely to see you again Sophia." They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before Ashley dragged Spencer out to the car.

Settling into the soft leather car seat Spencer let out a deep breath, "I guess I have a date with some needles!"

Ashley smiled softly and grabbed her wife's hand. Both of them fell silent, trying to prepare themselves for the upcoming appointment.

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**So now you know what is wrong with Spencer, many of you guessed cancer and were right, a few of you even guessed leukaemia. **

**Thank you all for reading it truly means more than I can say.**

**MrsMusgraveTNG – So as you already knew the outcome of this chapter my friend, what did you think?**

**somthgIlike2do – So was it what you thought it would be? I can promise you many more emotional updates…and maybe some hot and heavy ones (although those might be in one of my other fics)**

**2bz2breading – Thank you. It was important for Spencer to confide in Ash, I wrote Spencer to be very like me in that I often pull away from people when I'm scared or hurting to protect them and myself…not always the brightest thing to do but sometimes you can't help it**

**ilovemyself26 – You don't need to say it…but I kinda like that you did. Thanks heaps. You would be right, this story is already planned out but knowing me I will change my mind along the way**

**mutt009 – Yeah I figured I made you guys wait for long enough lol**

**grangergirl22 – Spencer is like me in that we tend to withdraw when scared and hurting. Its something I have always done. I can't wait to hear you thoughts on chapter 10**

**Coachkimm – hmm well I guess if you say not to kill her then I probably won't…or then again maybe I will. Hmm just a little something, there is a common theme among my fics and its called a happy ending. So I guess the question is will I conform to my usual style or will I break the pattern?**

**Palexobsessed – Thanks, I'm taking those tears as a compliment. I have a pretty good idea where this story is going…that's all I'm gonna say **

**LoveAsh87, slushhy****, Shanemmac16, ****P.A.M4Life****, FadeToLife, huggbuddy13 & ****0A**** – Thank you for reviewing**


	11. Tests You Don't Pass

**Usual disclaimer, SoN not mine, yeah I'm sad about it too**

**Review responses at the end of the chapter**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Eleven – Tests You Don't Pass**

Ashley pulled the Lexus into an empty parking pace in front of the hospital and jumped out of the car to open the door for her wife. Spencer tucked her arm through Ashley's as they walked towards the imposing looking hospital. Ashley could feel her wife trembling beside her and wrapped and arm around her waist, holding her as close as possible while still being able to walk.

It was obvious to anyone looking at the two women that they were both really struggling. Ashley was trying to be strong for her wife, but all she wanted to do was to curse the world. It seemed so unfair to her that a woman as wonderful, kind, compassionate and loving as her wife was forced to suffer through this illness.

They walked along the hospital hallways in silence, each deep in thought. Ashley let her wife lead her through the hospital towards her doctor's office. As they reached the door Spencer froze and started breathing heavily. Ashley pulled her into her arms and whispered, "You can do this Baby. We'll get these tests done so that we can get you treated and beat this disease. You, my love, are a fighter so let's go in there and start fighting."

Spencer pulled back and nodded, "Yeah I can do this, because you're here with me. God Ashley I need you, I can't do this without you."

"Then it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere Baby. I promised you forever and I mean it, I'll be by your side always," Ashley murmured softly, her face buried in her wife's silky blonde hair.

"How the hell did I get lucky enough to have you in my life?" Spencer whispered.

Ashley leaned back a bit so that she could look into Spencer's big blue eyes, "Baby I ask myself the same question every single day. Now let's do this." Spencer nodded and they walked together, hand in hand, into the doctor's office.

As they walked in Dr. Bronson got to his feet and shook both women's hands. "Hello Spencer, and you must be Ashley, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Ashley smiled and took his hand. Spencer couldn't bring herself to smile, she was feeling much to nervous. "Ok so what we're going to do today is take some more blood, do a needle biopsy of your swollen lymph node and also take a bone marrow sample. This will help us get more of an idea of how far the leukaemia cells have progressed and help us figure out what our next move will be. Do you have any questions?" Dr. Bronson asked kindly.

He was an older man with steel grey hair, wire rimmed glasses and kind eyes. He stood at about 6 foot and was very softly spoken. He was the sort of doctor who would go above and beyond for a patient, just because he wanted to help each and every person who walked into his office.

Ashley looked over at her wife who sat quietly, holding tightly to her hand. Looking back at the doctor Ashley asked, "Can you tell us more about Spencer's illness and the prognosis?"

Dr. Bronson smiled kindly, "Aside from the fact that she has leukaemia there isn't much more I can say. The tests we do today can help us determine a prognosis and figure out treatment options. I believe you are also scheduled to see Dr. Gratis on Monday. He is the best oncologist in L.A. and he will do whatever he can to help you through this."

Ashley nodded and gave her wife's hand a gentle squeeze. "Thanks Doctor," Ashley murmured softly.

He smiled and then moved around his desk, "Ok Spencer how about we get this over with for you?" Spencer nodded and the two women followed him down the hall to an examination room.

He left them alone so that Spencer could change into one of those oh so comfortable hospital gowns. Once she was wearing the gown that on most people is rather unflattering but on Spencer is gorgeous, she turned to me and offered me a weak smile. "How sexy do I look in this get up?" She said in a teasing voice.

I smiled lovingly, "Baby you could wear a Hessian sack and still be sexy. Spencer Carlin-Davies you are the most beautiful, sexy, gorgeous woman in the world and don't you ever forget it!"

Spencer laughed and shook her head, "I think you've gotten us confused, because Ash you are the most stunning woman I have ever and will ever meet. I love you Baby."

"I love you too," Ashley whispered before she dropped a tender kiss on her wife's lips.

Ashley was holding her wife securely in her arms as they sat side by side on the bed in the room when the doctor and a nurse wandered in. "Ok Spencer let's get these tests under way," Dr. Bronson said, smiling to himself at the love evident between the two women. Their love reminded him of his own with his late wife Edna who he had lost to cancer a few years earlier.

"Ok doctor, what are we doing first?" Spencer asked in a small, scared voice. Ashley gave her a squeeze, her way of telling her wife that she was there for her and that she was not alone in all of this.

"First of all we're going to take some blood and then we'll get a biopsy of the swollen lymph node. Once we've done both of those we'll get a bone marrow sample from you and then you can go home. I know this is pretty scary Spencer, but I promise we will take care of you," Dr. Bronson said with a reassuring smile.

Spencer nodded and huddled in closer to Ashley, needing the comfort of her wife's embrace. The nurse walked over with the equipment to collect the blood samples. Spencer swallowed nervously and slipped out of Ashley's arms only to grab her hand and squeeze it tightly.

The nurse smiled in understanding and gently prepared Spencer and the equipment so she could take the necessary blood samples. "Ok Mrs Carlin-Davies, I'll try and make this as painless as possible," the nurse said kindly as she began drawing the blood samples.

Ashley squeezed her hand as Spencer closed her eyes tightly to avoid looking at the blood, which would make her a little queasy. "It's ok Baby, it's almost over," Ashley murmured with her lips against Spencer's ears.

Spencer flashed a grateful smile at her wife and kept their eyes locked to distract her from the nurse taking her blood. "That's it beautiful keep looking at me. You're doing so well," Ashley cooed softly to her wife.

The nurse removed the needle and placed a bandaid over the needle hole, "There you go Mrs. Carlin-Davies, all done." The nurse smiled kindly and picked up the vials of blood, which Spencer turned her head to avoid looking at. Blood made the blonde a tad queasy and had done ever since the night of their junior prom and she had watched her brother and classmates get shot.

Dr. Bronson wandered over with a needle in this hand, "Ok Spencer, now what I want to do is take a needle biopsy of that swollen lymph node in your left arm pit. I'm going to numb the area so you won't feel a thing, just a little pressure." He smiled kindly and helped Spencer lie back on the bed.

Ashley moved to Spencer right side and clutched her hand lovingly in her own. Dr. Bronson gently administered the local anaesthetic to numb the area under Spencer's left arm pit, making the blonde woman wince as the needle pierced the skin. Ashley smile sympathetically down at her wife and brought her right hand to her lips and kissed her soft skin.

Dr. Bronson waited a moment for the anaesthetic to take effect, "Ok Spence you're going to feel a little pressure when the needle goes in, but you shouldn't feel any pain, if you do tell me right away." Spencer nodded and gave the doctor a shaky smile.

Ashley felt Spencer grip her hand in a vice like grip as the doctor inserted the needle to do the biopsy. "It's ok Spence baby, just relax," Ashley murmured.

Spencer looked up at her incredulously, "Ashley one thing I am definitely not likely to do while there is a needle stuck in me is relax. I love you Baby but relaxing is so not happening!"

Ashley smiled guiltily down at her wife and held her hand tightly as she mouthed, "Sorry." Spencer gave her a crooked smile and kept their eyes locked, truth be told she wasn't a huge fan of needles either.

A moment later the doctor removed the needle and placed a bandaid over the small hole caused by the biopsy needle. "Ok Spencer we're done with that. Now the last thing I have to do is take a bone marrow sample. This procedure is not the most pleasant but we'll try and make it as pain free as humanly possible for you. I'm going to give you some time before we begin," Dr. Bronson smiled kindly as he got to his feet and wandered out of the room.

Spencer rested back against the pillow and sighed tiredly. She couldn't quite believe that this was all happening to her. It seemed surreal, like a nightmare that she would wake up from at any minute. I mean who really ever expected to get cancer? It's one of those diseases that you know is out there but you never expect to be faced with it yourself. And at 31 years old, Spencer had definitely not been expecting to be faced with this disease.

Ashley sat beside her wife on the bed and held her hand in her own, gently stroking her smooth skin with her thumb. "Are you ok Baby?" Ashley asked as she reached up to tuck some stray silky blonde hair behind Spencer's ear.

"Yeah, it's just that all this is kind of scary and I am really not looking forward to having this bone marrow sample taken, I've watched enough Grey's Anatomy and House to know that they used a huge fucking needle and it looks like it hurts like hell," Spencer said fearfully.

Ashley smiled lovingly down at her wife and leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek, "Baby I think if you can go through childbirth twice a needle will be alright, plus the doctor will numb the area for you."

Spencer looked up at her and laughed, "Ok you got me there. Thanks Ash."

"Any time beautiful," Ashley replied with her famous nose-crinkling smile. They sat in silence for a while, Spencer deep in thought about the giant needle about to go into her hip and Ashley deep in thought about ways to distract her wife while a giant needle went into her hip. Ashley leaned down and adoringly kissed her wife's full lips, hoping to convey how much she loved her.

Dr. Bronson chose that moment to walk back into the room with the medical equipment needed to extract the bone marrow sample. Spencer swallowed nervously and her eyes almost popped out of her head at the size of the needle on the tray. She squeezed Ashley's hand hard, pretty much cutting off the circulation, of course Ashley said nothing.

"Ok Spencer we're going to take the bone marrow sample now. First I'll numb the area and then we'll use this needle," Dr. Bronson held up the scarily big needle, "to extract some bone marrow from your hip. Now I have to warn you that this might hurt a little, but we'll try to make it as pain free and quick as possible." Dr. Bronson explained.

Spencer nodded and tried not to look like she was completely bricking it at the thought of letting him stab her in the hip with that gigantic needle. Ashley was trying not to let her own horror at the size of the needle show, she didn't want to freak out her wife anymore than she already was.

"Spencer can I get you to lie on your side facing away from me please?" Dr. Bronson asked. Spencer complied and rolled over so that she was facing Ashley. "Great now Spencer can you bend the knee of your top leg a bit for me?" Spencer complied and gripped harder onto Ashley's hand.

Dr. Bronson folded back the sheet and inserted a needle to numb the area. Making Spencer wince which didn't bode well for when the big needle went in. Dr. Bronson waited a moment for the anaesthetic to kick in and then gently swabbed the skin to prevent infection and positioned the large, sharp needle ready to insert it into Spencer's hip. "Ok Spencer now this will probably hurt a bit, just keep breathing and I'll get it over with as soon as I can, you ready?"

Spencer just nodded, too scared to speak and took a shuddering breath. Ashley leant down so that she could look straight into her wife's fearful blue eyes, "It's ok Baby, I'm here and it's going to be ok." She murmured.

Spencer nodded again and took another deep breath. Dr. Bronson checked to ensure the area was numb one more time before he eased the needle through Spencer's skin and down into her hip. Spencer gasped and clenched her eyes shut in pain as the needle penetrated her skin and went into her body. Ashley winced at the strangle hold Spencer now had on her hand, she could feel her wedding ring cutting into her finger as Spencer's grip tightened.

Dr. Bronson smile sympathetically at Ashley who was biting her lip to keep from crying out at the pain Spencer's grip was causing. Spencer kept her eyes closed and just tried to keep breathing through the intense pain, oblivious to the death grip she had on her wife, and really who could blame her considering she had a freaking big needle being stuck in her hip.

The whole procedure only took a few minutes but by the end of it both Spencer and Ashley were in tears and Ashley was certain her hand was broken, it was like being in the delivery room with her wife all over again. After a quick look at the hand in question, Dr. Bronson assured both women that Spencer had not broken the bones, which Ashley was very grateful for.

Spencer was made to stay at the hospital for a few hours, to ensure there were no complications from all the tests she'd been subjected to and then Ashley was allowed to bring her home. Ashley brought the car up to the entrance of the hospital to save Spencer having to walk and gently helped her into the passenger seat.

It was rather late so they drove straight to Spencer's parent's house to collect their children. Spencer spent the whole drive there with her eyes closed and her head resting against the seat trying to stifle the nausea she was feeling.

Ashley parked the Lexus in front of her in-laws and ordered Spencer to stay in the car while she got the kids, she knew if Spencer went inside they'd get roped into staying for dinner and she could tell all her wife wanted and needed was to go home and rest.

Ashley let herself in and wandered into the living room where she found Hannah and Lucas watching T.V. with grandpa and their cousins Clay and Tahlia. "Momma!" Lucas yelled, scrambling to his feet to run over to her.

"Hey little Buddy, hi guys! You ready to go home?" Ashley asked giving her small son a hug. Lucas nodded and ran off to get his bag. Ashley wandered over and greeted Arthur and her niece and nephew.

"Where's Spencer?" Arthur asked quietly as he got to his feet and wrapped an arm around Ashley's shoulder. Paula wandered in and came to stand beside them.

"She's out in the car, she's exhausted and feeling pretty sick so I thought I'd just take her home and put her to bed. The tests really took it out of her and scared the hell out of both of us," Ashley explained as tears filled her eyes. She determinedly blinked them away and smiled sadly at her in-laws.

"It will be ok Ashley, we will get the best possible care for her and beat this. She is a fighter and will get passed this. I'm just going to go out and see her ok," Paula kissed Ashley gently on the forehead before heading out to see her daughter.

Ashley and Arthur got Hannah and Lucas' things together and headed out to the car with the kids in tow. They arrived just in time to see Paula wrap her arms around Spencer and kiss her gently on the cheek.

"Mommy!" Hannah called and took of running towards the car. Spencer carefully stepped out of the car and pulled her little girl into her arms.

"Hiya Baby girl, how are you?" Spencer said warmly.

"I'm good Mommy, I missed you though!" Hannah exclaimed.

"Me too!" Lucas added as he ran over to get his own hug.

"Oh Babies I missed you too, now say goodbye to grandma and grandpa and climb in the car so we can get you home for dinner," Spencer kissed each of her kids before giving them a gentle push towards her parents.

After goodbyes were said all around and Arthur got a hug from his daughter, Ashley drove her family home. It had been a long, tiring and stressful day, something Ashley was pretty sure they were going to have a lot of over the coming months.

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**I would love to hear what you think of this chapter**

**I also want to say that I am well aware that the content of this story may hit close to home for some people. It does for me too. I hope that I am able to tell this story in a truthful and respectful way. Thanks for reading.**

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews, you guys are far too good to me.**

**prissy020304, slushhy, makurutenoh, 2bz2breading, liarforthis and leighxt – Thank you so very much for reviewing and sticking with the story**

**MrsMusgraveTNG – I had to use Sophia, love her too much not to lol. **

**LoveAsh87 – I am so sorry to hear about you girlfriend, I send you positive thoughts and hope for your girlfriend to get better. Thanks for your review**

**mutt009 – Ashley will have to be strong and you know what I think she can do it, sorry this broke your heart**

**ilovemyself26 – Thanks so much! That means a lot**

**WillowOn3 – Yep you were right, sorry I couldn't prove you wrong…it was all planned out from the very first chapter I'm afraid. Thanks for the idea and for the review**

**somthgIlike2do – Yeah a lot of people figured it out based on the symptoms, I made sure to research them so they were accurate. Thanks for the review**

**Coachkimm – You did guess right, and I'll give serious thought to sticking with the happy ending. Thanks**

**DontMindBnCrazy – I'm sorry to hear about your relative you lost to cancer, that is very hard. I knew going into this that it would hit home for people, as it does for me. Thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean so much and I hope I can keep doing this story justice.**


	12. Safe In My Arms

**Usual disclaimer – Son not mine**

**Thank you for the reviews, please see end of the chapter for my response**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twelve – Safe In My Arms**

Ashley awoke to find a head of luxurious blonde hair on her chest and an arm wrapped around her waist in a vice like grip. She planted a soft kiss on the top of Spencer's hair and held her tighter. It had been two days since Spencer's appointment at the hospital and the next day they were meeting with her oncologist to discuss treatment options.

Ashley felt so scared and helpless. There were a lot of things she could protect her family from, but this disease was not one of them. She felt like she had to be strong for her wife, but it was hard because all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry while cursing the unfairness of the world.

Ashley was deep in thought when she felt Spencer stir in her arms, snuggling in even closer and moaning in pleasure at the feeling of warm, comforting arms around her body. Ashley smiled lovingly down at her wife and tilted her face up so she could get her good morning kiss. "Good morning Baby," Spencer murmured, her sleepy blue eyes locked on her wife's smiling face.

"Good morning to you too. How are you feeling this morning?" Ashley asked softly.

Spencer smiled, "I'm ok, feeling ok," Spencer sighed and a look of sadness crossed her beautiful face, "Ash, I uh, I've been thinking… I want to tell the kids that there's some thing wrong with me before I start treatment, but I don't want to scare them. What do you think we should do?"

"Honey I think they should know, actually I think they already know that there is something wrong. Those are two of the smartest, most sensitive children I've ever met and I know that they have picked up on the fact that you're not well. So how about we sit them down today and explain the situation to them. We don't have to give them too many details, hell we won't know all the details until we see the oncologist tomorrow, but we give them the basics," Ashley suggested holding tight to her wife. Spencer felt so small and fragile in her arms and it broke her heart.

"Ok, we'll tell them. Ash I want to be the one to actually tell them but I want, no I _need_ you there with me," Spencer murmured.

"Baby you know I'll be there, I'm going to be by your side so much through all this that you are going to be so sick of me," Ashley teased.

"That is just not possible Ash," Spencer whispered as she brought their lips together in a sweet kiss. Ashley kept her eyes closed as her wife pulled back, savouring the indescribable sensation of having her wife in her arms, their lips dancing together.

"Ok we'd better get up before those kids beat us to it and try to make us breakfast in bed again," Spencer said with a smile as she got out of bed and slipped on her robe. A few months earlier She and Ashley had spent a lazy morning in bed together and gotten up to find a small kitchen fire had been started when their children had taken it upon themselves to make their Moms breakfast in bed.

"Ok Baby," Ashley paused and walked around the bed to take her wife in her arms, "I love you."

Spencer grinned and leaned in to kiss her tenderly, "Hmm I love you too." Ashley stood watching her beautiful wife as she tied the sash of her midnight blue silk robe and pulled her long sun kissed blonde hair back in a messy ponytail. Ashley slipped on her own black silk robe and took the hand Spencer offered her. They walked hand in hand out of the room, sharing a kiss at the top of the stairs they went their separate ways, Ashley downstairs to turn on the coffee maker and get out the cereal for breakfast and Spencer to the kids rooms to wake them up.

Spencer left Hannah to sleep for a few more minutes, knowing she was most definitely not a morning person much like her Momma, and went to wake up Lucas. Sitting gently down on the side of his bed, Spencer leaned over and placed butterfly kisses all over his face until Lucas opened his eyes and giggled.

"Morning little Buddy, how are you?" Spencer asked with a big smile on her face.

Lucas giggled again, "I'm good Mommy, I like when you give me flutterby kisses!"

Spencer chuckled at her adorable baby boy and leaned over to plant more 'flutterby' kisses on his cheeks. Once he was giggling again Spencer sat up and smiled down at him, "How bout you get up little man and go help Momma in the kitchen while I get your grumpy monkey sister out of bed ok?"

Lucas giggled again and scrambled out of bed, "Ok Mommy, I'm gonna make you breakfast!" Lucas launched himself of his bed and ran full pelt out of his room. Spencer shook her head as she listened to his little feet thumping down the stairs, no matter how many times he was told not to run in the house they just couldn't stop him running around like everything was a race.

Spencer got to her feet and had to grab the wall to steady herself, she was feeling pretty weak and very tired even though she had just gotten out of bed. She plodded down the hall and perched on the side of Hannah's bed, butterfly kisses would not work to wake up her little sleeping beauty. Spencer gently stroked her daughter's silky blonde hair and murmured, "Hannah, baby girl, it's time to get up."

Hannah grumbled in her sleep and rolled over so her back was facing her mother. Spencer chuckled and put her hand on her daughter's shoulder to give her a tiny shake, "baby you need to get up now or your brother will eat all your breakfast!" Well that did it, Hannah sat up, kissed Spencer on the cheek and leaped from the bed to barrel down the hall to the stairs.

Spencer got to her feet and smirked, "Works every time!" She murmured to herself, amused.

Spencer was about to head down to join her family when a wave of nausea hit, sending her bolting for the bathroom where she emptied the meagre contents of her stomach. Felting absolutely wretched, Spencer slumped on the floor beside the toilet and buried her face in her hands.

That's where Ashley found her. When her wife had not followed Hannah down the stairs Ashley had become instantly worried. She left the kids eating their cereal and went in search of her wife. Finding her on the floor of their bathroom she crossed the floor to her side and pulled Spencer's frail body into her arms.

"Oh Baby," Ashley murmured as she held her wife close. Spencer just sighed tiredly and leaned back into the familiar, comforting embrace.

"Sorry Ash I'm just feeling a bit under the weather," Spencer mumbled as she reached over to flush the toilet.

"Honey don't you dare apologise, not for feeling sick. What can I do for you Spence?" Ashley murmured as she ran her fingers through Spencer's long, soft hair.

"Well you could help me up, I'm aching everywhere Ash and I feel so damn weak," Spencer said as tears filled her eyes. Ashley blinked back her own tears as she wrapped her arms around her wife and helped her to her feet.

"I know Baby, I know. Do you want me to put you back in bed?" Ashley asked, her voice husky with unshed tears.

"No could you just help me downstairs so I can talk to the kids. I need to get this over with," Spencer murmured as she stumbled over to the sink to rinse out her mouth and splash some water on her face. Ashley nodded and once her wife was finished she wrapped an arm firmly around her waist and they walked together down the stairs and into the dining room where their children were just finishing their breakfast.

"Mommy! I made you toast!" Lucas called out as Spencer sat down.

"Don't worry I made the toast and just let him butter it," Ashley whispered into her wife's ear, earning her a small grin.

"Aw thank you little buddy, that's so nice of you!" Spencer said as she forced herself to take a bit of the food as her stomach rebelled. Lucas grinned as his Mommy started eating the breakfast he'd made for her and ate the last mouthful of his Cheerios.

Once the kids and Ashley had finished their cereal and Spencer had forced down half a piece of toast they moved into the living room, both children starting to look worried when they noticed how serious their moms were.

Spencer led the kids over to the plush brown leather sofa and sat down with a child either side of her. Ashley took a seat on the coffee table so that she was sitting directly in front of her wife, ready to provide any support she could. This was not going to be an easy conversation.

"Ok babies I just want to start by telling you both how much I love you and how special you are to me," Spencer said softly.

Both kids instantly looked panicked. "Are you going away again Mommy?" Hannah asked in a small voice.

Spencer smiled reassuringly and kissed her daughter on the forehead, "No baby girl, not really," Spencer took a deep breath and looked over at Ashley, the anguish in her big blue eyes almost bringing her wife to tears. "Mommy has to tell you something and it might make you sad, but I want you to know what's going on," Spencer said as tears filled her eyes.

Ashley scooted forward on the coffee table and placed her hand on Spencer's knee, letting her know that she was there with her. Spencer smiled gratefully and then looked down at each child, both of whom were looking scared.

"I know you guys have noticed that I have been a bit unwell lately, tired and just not myself. Well I went to the doctor like I promise Momma I would and the doctor figured out what is wrong with me," Spencer explained, her voice husky with the tears she was trying to hold back.

"So that means you're gonna be all better Mommy?" Lucas asked with a huge smile on his face, while the others all looked sad. Hannah had already registered how serious the situation was, making her cling to Spencer even tighter.

"Um no little man Mommy might be sick for a little while. Ok so when I went to the doctor he did some test so he could figure out why I have been so sick. Do you two know what cancer is?" Spencer asked softly.

Hannah bright blue eyes widened with fear and Lucas just looked confused. Ashley took Hannah's hand in hers as she watched her small daughter fight back tears. Lucas started to pick up the sadness coming off the others, his big blue eyes flicking back and forth between them as he tried to figure out what was going on.

Hannah sniffled a little and looked sadly up at Spencer, "Mommy are you gonna die?" She asked in a tiny voice.

As soon as Lucas heard the word die he started sobbing and screaming as she clung desperately to his Mommy. Spencer had kept control of her emotions up to this point but once Lucas lost it so did she. Spencer began sobbing brokenly as she clutched her children to her. Lucas had climbed onto her lap, burying his face in Spencer's neck and Hannah had cleaved herself to her mother's side. Ashley scooted off the coffee table and took the spot next to Spencer that Lucas had left vacant, before wrapping her arms around her crying family.

"Lucas, Hannah, Mommy is very sick but she is going to get treatment by the doctors and they are going to do everything they can to make her better," Ashley explained to her almost hysterical children, who took no notice of her and kept holding tight to their Mommy who was almost completely hysterical herself.

Spencer looked up and caught Ashley's tear-filled eyes. Looking into those loving brown eyes calmed her somewhat and Spencer choked back further sobs. She had always seen amazing strength in her wife and now she was drawing on that strength to help her calm her children and reassure them. Spencer gave her kids a watery smile, "Babies I know this is all very scary but I promise you I'm gonna do everything I can to get better ok?"

Hannah and Lucas fixed tear filled blue eyes on their mother, both with mirror image sad pouts on their faces. Spencer audibly swallowed around the lump in her throat and gave her children an adoring smile, "My Darlings it's going to be ok."

Lucas' lower lip trembled as he fought to be brave for his Mommy, he would do anything for his Mommy, "I don't want you to die Mommy," he said sadly as fresh tears rolled down his rosy cheeks.

Spencer gently cupped his tear streaked face in her hand and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, "I promise Baby I will do everything I can to get better." Lucas whimpered and buried his face in the crook of her neck again.

Spencer held him tighter and smiled down at Hannah, who was watching her intently, "Mommy Felicity's mom had cancer and she didn't get better."

Spencer's smile turned sad, "I know sweetie, but Felicity's Mom had a different type of cancer than me. There are different types of cancer Baby Girl and I have the best cancer doctor in L.A. helping me. I'm going to be ok Princess." Spencer leaned over and kissed Hannah gently on the top of her blonde hair.

Spencer felt sick, she had known telling her children she had cancer was going to be hard, but she had not anticipated just how tough it would be. Ashley could sense that her wife was pretty close to breaking point so she tightened her hold on the three people that meant the most to her in the entire world and started singing softly.

"Your baby blues  
So full of wonder  
Your curly cues  
Your contagious smile  
And as I watch  
You start to grow up  
All I can do is hold you tight

Knowing clouds will raise up  
Storms will race in  
But you will be safe in my arms  
Rains will pour down  
Waves will crash all around  
But you will be safe in my arms

Story books full of fairy tales  
Kings and queens and the bluest skies  
My heart is torn just in knowing  
You'll someday see the truth from lies

Knowing clouds will raise up  
Storms will race in  
But you will be safe in my arms  
Rains will pour down  
Waves will crash all around  
But you will be safe in my arms

Castles they might crumble  
Dreams may not come true  
But you are never all alone  
Because I will always  
Always love you

Clouds will raise up  
Storms will race in  
But you will be safe in my arms  
Rains will pour down  
Waves will crash all around  
But you will be safe in my arms"

Ashley held her family close, desperately trying to hold it all together as she struggled not to fall apart.

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**Song in this Chapter:**

**In My Arms by Plumb (it is a truly beautiful song)**

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**Thank you all for your reviews. I am beyond moved by them all, especially all of you who are sharing your experiences with Cancer effecting people you know. Before starting this story I don't think I fully comprehended how many people this disease impacts. I know of the impact it has had on my own life, but this has opened my eyes. I am so grateful for the wonderful response to this fic.**

Coachkimm, ilovemyself26, prissy020304 – Thank you so much

Shanemmac16 – Thank you so much. Leukemia was chosen because I was inspired by a documentary about Andrew McMahon from Jack's Mannequin and his struggle with the disease. I have also known people with it, and other types of cancer so I am drawing on those experiences.

.alex – Thanks, I want this story to be as real as possible

Palexobsessed – Thank you, Spencer could only shut her wife out for so long. It is tragic to lose anyone, relative, friend or acquaintance to a disease like this.

WillowOn3 – Thanks, it was hard to write chapter 11, I wanted to get it right to do justice to people who have gone through this. Thanks so much my friend!

2bz2breading – Thanks your review means a lot, its nice to know I'm getting the feelings and experiences right.

somthgIlike2do – Thank you. I think this effects far more people than I have ever realised. I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt and family members. Cancer is a terrible disease that impacts far too many lives

mutt009 – Thanks, I am petrified of needles so even writing about the tests was a struggle for me. I felt a few moments of humour were needed to ease the tension and sadness somewhat. You're right there is going to need to be tremendous strength needed by both women.

LoveAsh87 – you're welcome. It's good to hear she's doing well with her chemo treatment, I hope she continues to do well. Thanks so much for reviewing

FadeToLife – Thanks so very much, that means a lot.

MrsMusgraveTNG – thanks Rock Star, yes there will be drama but I'll try and spare you some tears.


	13. Family Comes First

**Thank you all for sharing your stories and for your kind reviews on this story.**

**See the end of the chapter for my responses.**

**Usual disclaimer, I do not own SoN, just my imagination **

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Thirteen ****– Family Comes First**

Once the kids had calmed down and the four of them had stopped crying Spencer had taken Hannah and Lucas down to the beach, despite how sick she was feeling, while Ashley cleaned up after breakfast. As soon as she was alone Ashley gave in to the screaming emotions inside of her and let herself cry. She was washing the dishes when the sobs began, making her drop the plate in her hand and slide down the kitchen cabinets to sink to the floor.

She wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her chest as she rocked back and forth with her faced pressed against her legs. Her sobs were coming violently now, shaking her entire body so hard it was rattling the door of the cabinet behind her. Ashley would not break down in front of her family, she would not let them see her fall apart. She felt like she had to be strong for her wife and kids. She had to be the strength that held her family together otherwise she knew it was all going to fall apart.

Ashley curled her fingers into tight fists and fought to control the wracking sobs that tore violently through her. She didn't know how to cope with all this. Her wife was sick and there was a very real chance that she would not get better. The though of living without Spencer was so unbearable that it made her sob so hard she literally couldn't breathe.

_We are supposed to have forever. No where in our plans for the future did we account for the possibility that wouldn't happen__, that one of us wouldn't be here. Cancer was not in our plans_, Ashley screamed in her head and her tears fell harder and faster. This was not part of the plan. She and Spencer were supposed to spend a lifetime together, a long lifetime that ended when they were both old and had watched the children grown up and have children of their own. Ashley could see it clearly, they would be in their eighties and still ridiculously in love. They would die in their sleep while lying in each other's arms. They would go together into the next life that was how it was meant to be.

They were supposed to get that forever and now this cancer was threatening that. It seemed so unfair. Sitting there curled up in a ball on their kitchen floor Ashley felt anger tugging at her heart. She was furious that her wife had been hit with this disease. Spencer was the kindest, most loving woman she knew and it didn't seem fair that she was suffering so much.

The entire time Ashley had known her wife she had watched Spencer put others ahead of herself constantly. Spencer was selfless and gave so much of herself to everyone, especially her wife and kids, that to see her having to deal with this was beyond heartbreaking, it was heart destroying.

Ashley took a few deep, shuddering breaths to calm herself. She clenched her hands into fists and wiped angrily at her tears before muttering to herself, "Get up Davies, pull yourself together they need you."

Ashley struggled to her feet, using the edge of the sink to pull herself up and finished the dished hurriedly, before ducking into the bathroom to wash any evidence of her tears from her face. Once she was certain she was presentable she wandered out to find her family on the beach. She paused on the stairs that led from their deck to the sand to just watch her family. Spencer had set up a blanket on the sand and that's where she sat giggling as Hannah and Lucas built a sand castle slightly too close to the water, meaning that every time the water returned to the shore it half demolished their creation causing them to giggle themselves and start again.

Ashley mentally stored away the image of her family laughing and playing together, knowing that this image may not be repeated all that much over the next few months as Spencer fought the disease that was trying to take over her body. Even that thought was enough to bring fresh tears to the brunette's eyes and to make the anger she felt at the whole situation burn within her.

Sighing as she blinked away her tears, Ashley stepped down off the deck onto the warm white sand and walked to her blonde haired, blue eyed family. She forced a smile onto her face as she took a seat behind her wife, her legs either side of her. Spencer relaxed back against the familiar body and Ashley wrapped her arms tightly around her.

Resting her chin on her wife's shoulder Ashley whispered, "Are you feeling ok?"

Spencer smiled softly, "Yeah I'm ok, I guess I'm nervous about the doctors appointment tomorrow…and I'm positively shitting myself about tonight." Later that night they had invited their extended family around so that they could all be told about Spencer's cancer at the same time. Of their family and friends only Paula and Arthur knew the truth about Spencer's condition so this was going to be a difficult and rather painful conversation.

"I bet you are Baby, just remember I'll be with you the whole time. You are not going through this alone, not one bit of it, ok?" Ashley murmured, her breath tickling the sensitive skin of her wife's neck.

"I know, thanks Ash," Spencer murmured back. They fell into a comfortable silence as they watched their kids play. It was pretty obvious that Hannah was putting on a show of being ok. She kept shooting Spencer the saddest looks that almost broke her mother's heart.

Lucas on the other hand did not really understand what was going on and was just enjoying having his three favourite females with him for some fun on the beach. Hannah was especially going out of her way to make her baby brother smile, she had inherited Spencer's habit of putting her loved ones ahead of herself and while the young blonde just wanted to curl up in a ball on her Mommy' lap and sob she would give her all to make Lucas happy after the bad news they had gotten.

Ashley felt an overwhelming sense of pride as she watched her kids. Hannah was every inch her mother. From her looks to her personality, Hannah Davies was the image of Spencer, a fact that Ashley was eternally grateful for. Lucas on the other hand was more of a mix of both his moms. He was passionate and had a stubborn streak a mile long and was prone to very Ashley Davies like temper tantrums, while at the same time was kind and compassionate in a very Spencer way. They were good kids, a real testament to their parents.

Spencer leaned further back into Ashley's arms and sighed, "We really have amazing kids. I wish they didn't have to deal with this Ash. What 7 and 5 year old should ever have to deal with their parent having a terminal illness? It's just not fair Ashley."

Ashley tightened her hold on Spencer's fragile form and kissed her gently on the cheek, "I know Baby, and I wish they didn't either, but they are two of the strongest kids ever and they will be alright. I just think we need to keep being honest with them as much as we can."

Spencer nodded and opened up her arms as Lucas came barrelling over. He launched himself into her arms, causing her a bit of pain but Spencer kept that quite. Ashley of course noted the flinch and grimace of pain and decided to talk to Lucas later about being careful with his Mommy.

Lucas snuggled into Spencer's arms and looked adoringly up at her, his big baby blue eyes shining with love for his blonde mother. Spencer's look as she gazed down at her baby boy mirrored his, making Ashley's eyes tear up once again. Hannah came over and sat on the blanket next to the others, leaning her head on Ashley's arms where it was wrapped around Spencer.

They sat like that for a while, just enjoying being together as a family until the little rumbling of Lucas' tummy alerted them to the fact that it was lunch time. Spencer climbed unsteadily to her feet and grabbed Lucas' hand in hers. He grinned at her and then demanded, "Piggy back Mommy!" Spencer sighed and then fixed a smile on her face as she knelt down to help him on.

"Spence I don't think that is a good idea," Ashley murmured right as Hannah hissed, "Lucas you'll hurt Mommy stop it!"

Spencer and Lucas chose to ignore them both. Lucas scrambled onto his Mommy's back and Spencer carefully stood up before turning and walking up the beach to the house with her small son on her back.

Ashley smiled softly and shook her head, there was that Carlin stubbornness she knew so well. Hannah was glaring after Lucas angrily. Ashley laid a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "Hannah he doesn't understand that Mommy is sick, he's too little. I promise I'll talk to him later, but don't be mad at him ok?"

Hannah let out a very Spencer like sigh and nodded. "I'm scared Momma, what if Mommy doesn't get better?" Hannah asked as huge tears began pooling in her eyes.

Ashley knelt down and pulled her daughter into her arms, "Princess, Mommy is strong, so very strong and she has always been so healthy and taken such good care of herself so she has every chance of getting better. We are going to do everything possible to make sure she's ok, I promise."

Hannah sniffed a little and snuggled into her Momma's arms, "I don't want her to die Momma."

Ashley felt her own tears start to fill her eyes, "I know Sweetheart, me either."

"What can I do to help her?" Hannah asked quietly.

Ashley smiled tearfully down at her daughter, what a selfless little girl. "Well baby you can make her smile, love her and help me look after your brother ok? And I have a special job for you. I want to do something for Mommy before she has to start treatment, I want to do something to make her happy. So your job is to think of something that will make Mommy super happy ok?"

Hannah nodded and smiled at her Momma. "Thanks Princess, now let's go help Mommy make lunch." Hannah stood up and waited for Ashley to grab their beach blanket and take her hand so they could walk back to the house together.

After a delicious lunch that Spencer and Lucas had prepared Ashley ordered her wife upstairs for a nap after she caught her dozing off in her chair at the table. Hannah offered to tuck her in so Spencer was dragged forcibly from the room by her seven year old doppelganger.

Ashley laughed at the mother and daughter matching set and started cleaning up from lunch. Lucas sat at the table and watched his Momma as she flitted around the kitchen, his big blue eyes thoughtful. "Momma why is Mommy so tired?" Lucas asked.

Ashley put down the cloth in her hand and moved to sit beside her son at the table, "It's like we told you and Hannah this morning, Mommy has cancer which is a disease that makes her very sick and very tired. Buddy Mommy is not well." Ashley ran her hand through his messy blonde curls as he tried to process what she had said.

Lucas looked sadly up at his Momma and pouted a very Spencer-like pout, "Oh ok Momma, if I be a good boy all the time and never do any more naughty stuff will that make Mommy better?"

Ashley blinked back the onslaught of tears that threatened to spill and pulled her small son into her arms, "Oh little Buddy, you are such a good boy and Mommy and Momma love you so much. Mommy's cancer isn't caused by anything we did, and definitely not caused by anything you did. We don't really know why Mommy has cancer, we just have to let the doctors make her better now."

Lucas nodded, "Ok Momma. I might do make a picture for Mommy for when she wakes up, is that ok?"

Ashley smiled, "Yeah little man, I think Mommy will love it." She planted a soft kiss on his messy curls before Lucas jumped down off his seat and ran into the big play room they had set up for the kids off the living room.

Ashley was still sitting at the table when Hannah came back in. Ashley smiled at her daughter as she came and sat on her lap. "I got Mommy all tucked in, even told her a bedtime story," Hannah announced.

Ashley beamed, "Did you now? I bet Mommy loved that. Is she sleeping now?"

"Yep she fell asleep as soon as my story was finished. I was thinking Momma and I think I know what to do to make Mommy happy," Hannah said excitedly.

"Oh yeah? Well care to share Princess?" Ashley asked with a cheeky smile.

Hannah giggled and nodded, she was so excited about her idea!

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**Thank you once again for the response to this story, it has both moved and humbled me.**

**Shanemmac16 – thank you, all is well now. **

**.alex – Thanks so very much, truly your words mean so much**

**ilovemyself26 – I love that movie and hadn't seen the link between the story and the movie, but they do share similarities. Thanks**

**bethers86, prissy020304 – Thank you**

**FadeToLife – Thanks, I am always striving for realism in my stories so I am glad that came across**

**Sheffieldez – Thank you so much, not only for you kind words but for sharing you experience with me. I am so sorry you lost your mother, I can't even imagine what that would be like.**

**WillowOn3 – Yeah it is not easy to hear news like this. My mother has Alzheimer's disease and I remember how hard it was to hear that and I was 22 at the time (last year), so I can't imagine what it would be like to hear it as a child. Your Uncle sounds like an amazing man. I don't believe in sugar coating things, never have. I prefer honesty so that's what I'm giving you all. Thanks so much, and as for the letter story, I'm working on it I promise**

**mutt009 – Aw thanks, I love that song and have wanted to use it for a while now, it seemed to fit the situation**

**LoveAsh87 – Thank you, I'm trying to keep it real. I hope all is going well with your girlfriend**

**somthgIlike2do – I hope this story is healing for you, I know it is for me. I find writing to be a kind of therapy for me...maybe that's why I do it so much. Thank you so much for another wonderful review**

**me4son – I am so beyond sorry to hear about your mother, my heart truly goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your experience with me, it is an honour to hear your story. Thank you also for your kind words.**

**sunsetstrip2010 – Thanks! Glad I got you hooked, we'll see what the future hold for Spencer**


	14. More Confessions and A Present

**Firstly I apologise for the delay in posting this, I have been feeling the pressure to get this story right****, the pressure is not from you guys it is totally self-inflicted. After hearing all your stories and experiences I want to do this story justice. **

**Usual disclaimer, SoN not mine**

**Responses to your reviews at the end of the chapter.**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Fourteen ****– More Confessions and A Present**

Spencer wandered down stairs after her nap to find her parents sitting in the living room chatting quietly and no sign of her wife and children. A confused smiled covered her face as Spencer joined her parents on the large, plush leather sofa after hugs and kisses were exchanged.

"So dare I ask where my wife has taken my kids?" Spencer asked with a grin as she settled next to her mother.

Paula leaned over and patted her daughter's knee, "Nope we can't tell you, Ashley wants it to be a surprise. We're here in case you woke up and couldn't find anyone and we thought we'd help you set up for the masses that are coming around tonight, as long as you're sure you are up for this?"

Spencer nodded, "Yeah Mom I am, I just need to tell them. I want everyone to know what's going on and by telling them all at once it saves hurt feelings from the people not told first," Spencer paused and looked thoughtful, "So surprise huh? What kind of surprise?"

Paula and Arthur Carlin chuckled at their only daughter, "Sorry Sweetie Ashley, Hannah and Lucas would be none to pleased if we ruined the surprise," Arthur said with a warm smile. Spencer rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Oh alright then, I won't pester you for information. I assume Ashley left you a list of things to do for tonight?" Spencer asked with a fond smile as she thought of her wife.

"Sure did, and they are all done. That wife of yours is a hard task master," Arthur said with a grin.

"Oh and Spence, your son wanted me to give this to you," Paula handed over a large green card. Spencer took the card and felt tears of love fill her eyes as she took in the gift her son had made her. On the front of the card Lucas had written 'I Love You Mommy' and had drawn a picture of him and her on the beach in different coloured crayons. Opening the card Spencer's tears fell. Lucas had written in big words 'I will look after you Mommy' in purple crayon (Ashley had helped him with the spelling). Spencer was so moved she couldn't find the words.

"That son of yours is one of the kindest people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. You and Ashley have done a good job with him," Arthur said smiling kindly at his daughter.

Spencer beam and wiped away a few tears before she nodded her agreement and climbed to her feet, "Well seeing as you two have it all under control down here I might duck upstairs and get ready before the others start turning up," Spencer announced.

"Go on Honey, we'll have everything ready by the time you come down. Call us if you need anything," Paula said standing up and giving her daughter a hug, careful not to hold her too tightly given how fragile her daughter looked.

Spencer smiled and headed back upstairs to start getting ready. She was dreading what was to follow. She was not looking forward to telling her family that she was about to start treatment for Leukaemia. Sighing sadly she disappeared into the massive walk-in-robe, Ashley had insisted on adding tom their bedroom, to figure out what to wear.

While Spencer was upstairs Ashley and the kids returned with their 'package'. Sneaking stealthily in through the back door they stowed the 'package' safely in the laundry room with the appropriate supplies and went in search of Paula and Arthur.

"Grandma, Grandpa! We got Mommy's present!" Lucas called as he went barrelling into Paula's open arms.

"Oh and what present is that?" Spencer said with a smirk as she wandered down the stairs. Even after ten years of marriage, Ashley's breath hitched as her wife walked towards her. Every single day she sent up a little prayer to a God she didn't entirely believe in thanking him (or her, you never know) for bringing Spencer into her life.

Spencer was dressed in a simple cream sundress that fell to her knees and tan pumps that made her legs look long and very sexy. Her long blonde hair was clipped half up behind her head with the rest hanging in loose waves down her back. Ashley smiled tenderly at her wife and stepped forward to take her into her arms, "You look gorgeous Baby," she murmured.

Spencer smirked, "Thanks, but don't change the subject, what present?" Paula laughed and shook her head, Spencer could never be deterred from potential presents.

Ashley grinned and kissed Spencer on the cheek, "All in good time Baby, all in good time." Everyone laughed as Spencer pouted adorably. Just as she was about to beg to get her present right away the door bell rang and Ashley headed off to let people in with Lucas trailing along behind her.

Fifteen minutes later and all the family was there and Arthur was behind the grill, where he belonged according to his wife, kids and grand kids. The various grand children were all playing down on the beach under the supervision of Paula, running around engaged in a game of tag.

The adults were sitting on the deck over looking the beach, everyone but Spencer sipping a beer or a glass of wine. Spencer was sitting beside her wife with her head resting wearily on her shoulder as Ashley gently ran her hand up and down her wife's arm. Spencer relaxed into the calming touch and sighed tiredly.

The whole family was there, Glen and Chelsea with their kids Clay and Tahlia, Kyla and Aiden with Emma and Paula and Arthur. It was a pretty normal thing for the family to all get together like this, it was usually just under more pleasant circumstances.

Dinner was a loud, boisterous affair as each set of parents tried in vain to control their offspring (and yes that includes Paula and Arthur who had to stop Spencer and Glen throwing food at one another after Glen said something about Ashley Spencer did not entirely agree with). As the meal progressed Spencer became quieter, she knew it was almost time to confess her condition to her loved ones and she was dreading it.

Ashley, always in tune to her wife's moods, could sense Spencer's growing dread. She tightened her hold on her wife and smiled over at Paula and Arthur, telling them it was time. She knew they had to get this over with before Spencer broke down completely.

"Ok kids, come with Grandma and Grandpa inside and will have ice cream and watch a movie!" Paula said with a smile for the little ones. Excited yells followed them inside as Arthur picked up the dishes and dismissed everyone's offers to help before heading inside.

Spencer cleared her throat once her parents and the children were safely inside and smiled sadly at her loved ones. The people sitting around the table were more than just family to her. "Guys we had an ulterior motive in inviting you all hear tonight, we have some news we need to tell you," Spencer said softly. Ashley smiled lovingly and gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

Chelsea smiled kindly at them and said, "Ok, so what's going on?"

Kyla immediately looked excited and shrieked, "Are you guys having another baby?" Those words cut Spencer deeply and she burst into tears. She knew there was a very real possibility that if this disease didn't kill her then the treatment for her cancer would mean she would probably not be able to have children again in the future and that hurt. She wasn't even sure if she wanted another baby, but she hated that the choice was being taken away from her.

Ashley tightened her hold on her wife as Spencer buried her face in her neck. Kyla looked horrified that her words had caused such a reaction and hurried to apologise, "Oh God, Spencer I'm so sorry! You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth, shit I'm sorry!"

Spencer raised her head off her wife's shoulder and gave her sister in law a watery smile, "It's ok Ky, don't worry about it," Spencer took a deep breath before looking around the table, "Ok well I think some of you know I have been a bit under the weather lately. Well I went to the doctor and um…well there is no easy way to say this, but I have…fuck….I have cancer. Guys I have leukaemia."

Everyone around the table stared at Spencer in shock as she leaned heavily against her wife, needing the comfort of her embrace. The silence and the tension was palpable as they each looked at Spencer and Ashley, as if waiting for them to admit is was all one big cruel and tasteless joke.

Glen was the first to react. He climbed to his feet and walked around the table. He knelt beside his sister and gently extracted her from Ashley's arms so he could pull her into his. As soon as her head hit his shoulder they both started sobbing, which set everyone else off. Spencer clutched her big brother like she was drowning and he was the only thing keeping her a float. Glen held her fiercely to him, terrified that he was going to lose her.

Ashley felt her heart constrict painfully as she watched her wife and her brother cling to each other as they sobbed. They always teased each other mercilessly, but it was so clear for all to see how much they loved one another. Ever since they had lost their brother at their junior prom, Glen and Spencer had forged a bond that few people would ever experience.

After a few minutes Spencer gently pulled back from Glen's embrace and smiled sadly at her big brother as he took a seat beside her, still clinging to her hand. Spencer slipped her other hand into Ashley's and turned to look at the others, "I wish I had better news for you all and I'm sorry to have made you all sad, but I wanted you to know," Spencer murmured softly.

"Spence don't you dare apologise and thank you for telling us. Is there anything we can do?" Aiden asked, his voice a little choked up.

Spencer gave him a watery smile, "Thanks Aid, right now we're ok, but we might need some help looking after the kids and all that once I start treatment."

"Of course, anything we can do. So when do you start treatment? Are you doing chemo?" Kyla asked softly.

Spencer sighed tiredly and leaned against Ashley, this was all wearing her out. "I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow and that's when we'll be figuring out what's going to happen in terms of treatment and such. I assume there will be chemo, I guess that's pretty much standard procedure when treating this thing."

They talked for a bit longer, tears were shed and promises of help and support were made. The shock wore off for them all and the reality of the situation settled over them, bringing fear with it. They were discussing Spencer's work and how that would be affected when Lucas came out followed by Paula who was telling him to come back inside.

Lucas ignored her and crawled up onto Ashley's lap. "Momma, why is everyone so sad?" He asked his big blue eyes locked on hers.

"We're all sad little buddy because Mommy is sick," Ashley explained gently.

Lucas nodded, a serious look on his little face, "Ok, can we give Mommy her present now? It will make her happy!"

Ashley smiled at her son and looked over at Spencer who was smiling fondly at her wife and son. "Sure little man, I think we can do that. Why don't you go with Grandma and you and Hannah can get Mommy's present for her?"

Lucas nodded before scrambling off her lap and running over to Paula, he grabbed her hand and dragged her inside, making the adults outside all chuckled despite their sadness.

A few minutes later all the children, minus Hannah and Lucas, plus Arthur were back out on the deck awaiting the arrival of the present. Spencer was smiling in anticipation with her eyes locked on the sliding door. Ashley was beaming sitting beside her, so excited to see her wife's reaction to her present.

Hannah and Lucas appeared with Paula behind them. They were carrying a large box with numerous holes in the side of it between the three of them that appeared to be wriggling in their grasp. Spencer shot Ashley a look of confusion, making her wife chuckle and shrug.

The kids and Paula carried the box over and set it down in front of Spencer, all three beaming like clowns on ecstasy (or red cordial if you want the PG version). Spencer got off her chair and knelt in front of the box, "So what do we have here?"

Lucas clapped his hands, "It's your present Mommy, Hannah picked it out but." Spencer smiled lovingly at her kids and gently opened the box. As soon as the lid was open a cuddly golden retriever puppy leapt out into Spencer's arms and began licking her face furiously. Spencer giggled and snuggled the puppy in her arms. She looked around at her family and beamed her thanks.

Ashley bit her lip and watched her wife lovingly cuddling her new puppy. For as long as she could remember Spencer had wanted a golden retriever puppy. As a child she had wanted one, but Clay was allergic to dogs so her parents had never been able to give her one and Ashley had never gotten her one either. There had always been reasons why, but none of them mattered a damn anymore. All that mattered to Ashley was putting a smile on her wife's gorgeous face so when Hannah had suggested a puppy was the perfect gift to make Spencer happy, Ashley agreed without a moment's hesitation.

Spencer was seated on the deck with her puppy on her lap and the children all crowding around her trying to get as close to the puppy as possible. She looked up at her wife and mouthed, "thank you, I love you."

Ashley beamed and mouthed back, "You're welcome, I love you too." Their eyes stayed locked until Hannah dragged Spencer's attention away by asking her what she wanted to name her puppy.

Spencer looked thoughtful for a second and then grinned, "I think I might have an idea, what do you guys think of Oliver?"

"Oh I love it Mommy! Can I call him Ollie?" Hannah asked with wide-eyed wonder.

Spencer grinned at her look-a-like daughter and nodded, "You sure can Baby girl," Spencer lifted the puppy in her arms and looked into his adorable eyes, "So what do you say little one, do you want to be an Oliver?" The golden puppy barked and wagged his tail furiously making everyone laugh, "Well I think he likes it, Oliver it is!" Spencer announced.

The rest of the night was spent with the kids (and I include Spencer and Glen in that) playing with the puppy until little Oliver got tuckered out and fell asleep in Spencer's lap. It was odd but he already seemed to know exactly whose dog he was.

Once the puppy fell asleep the children started dropping like flies and their respective parents hurried them off home, while Arthur and Paula kindly put Hannah and Lucas to bed after they had each said good night to Spencer, Ashley and Oliver (who got more attention then their mothers).

Ashley helped Spencer inside, laughing when her wife wouldn't hand over the puppy, and led her upstairs to their bedroom. They passed a very tired looking Paula and Arthur in the hallway and said their good nights, promising to call them after Spencer's appointment with her oncologist the next day.

Once the Carlin's were gone, Ashley led her wife into their bedroom where they had a minor argument about the puppy sleeping with them. A compromise was reached when Ashley ran down stairs and got his bed and some news paper and set him up for the night in their room.

Once Oliver was asleep and they had checked on their children the two women snuggled together in their big bed, holding tight to each other, both thinking of what the future was going to hold for them.

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**Thanks to all who reviewed. It means so much.**

**FadeToLife – I agree with you wholeheartedly, it is moving to me how people are willing to share these painful times in their lives. Your review meant so much to me so thank you**

**WillowOn3 – Thank you, my Mum is an amazing woman and it hurts to see her going through this. Ashley's break down in the kitchen and questioning fate was directly taken from personal experience, that is what I did the day I heard about my Mum. I was doing the dishes and as soon as my housemate left I broke down. I fell to the floor and cried. This story I think is relatable, and I hope I am doing people experiences justice in the telling of it. Thank you again Sweets**

**mutt009 - thanks, the kids are kinda amazing. Kinda hope if I ever have kids they are as awesome.**

**ilovemyself26 – Thanks, I felt it was important to get the kids perspective on this, they are young but will be feeling it as much as their mothers. Ashley feels she has to be the rock.**

**.alex – Thanks, sorry for making you cry. I will take the tears and threats of violence as a compliment though!**

**MrsMusgraveTNG – So what did you think of Hannah's idea? And compared to some of the other cliff hangers I've left this one was pretty tame lol. Thanks Rock Star**

**2bz2breading – Thank you, I am trying to make this as real as possible, which is why it takes me so long to update.**

**Coachkimm – Thanks! It's had being young when family members are sick. I remember with my Pop I just wanted him to be ok, sadly we lost him to pancreatic cancer. My mother also told me a lot of what Ashley told Lucas.**

**jareaufan – Thank you so very much, that truly means a lot to me. **

**bethers85, LoveAsh87, hugbudd13 & leighxt – Thank you**


	15. Preparing to Fight

**I am so very sorry for the delay in posting this, I have been struggling with this fic.**

**Thank you to all who reviewed, it means more than I can say.**

**MrsMusgraveTNG, LoveAsh87, nightwish fan, 04, bethers85, hugbuddy13 & Coachkimm – Thank you all so much for reviewing**

**mutt009 – While it is amazing as a writer to get such a strong response, I'm sorry it was so hard for you to read. It means a lot that you will continue to read. Thank you so much**

**2bz2breading – You're welcome. This story was in my head for a long time before I felt ready to write it. Writing has always been cathartic for me, this fic even more so. Thank you**

**somthgIlike2do – Thanks, I see the family as the most important part of this story**

**WillowOn3 – Spencer's puppy is directly taken from personal experience. I had a Golden Retriever puppy names Oliver, sadly he passed away while still a puppy. I tried to mix in some lighter moments with all the grief to ease the tension somewhat. Thanks Sweets!**

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Fifteen ****– Preparing to Fight**

Spencer shuffled nervously in her uncomfortable seat in the waiting room of the oncology ward at the hospital. Ashley smiled in understanding and lay a comforting hand on her wife's leg. They were waiting for their appointment with Dr. Gratis, but the doctor had been delayed by an emergency with a patient. The waiting was just making Spencer more and more nervous.

"It's going to be alright Baby, just try and relax and once we get in there the doctor can tell us all we need to know so that we can kick this caner's ass," Ashley murmured.

Spencer smiled and shook her head, "I love you baby, but you must be deluded if you think there is any chance of me relaxing anytime soon."

Ashley chuckled and nodded before kissing her wife lovingly on the cheek. If she was honest Ashley was just as nervous as her wife. This appointment was going to tell them the nitty-gritty details of her wife's illness and the options for treatment. This appointment was the start of a long journey for the two women and their family. Ashley was feeling the pressure to be the rock, the support that would hold her family together, she was just scared that there was no one to hold her together when all she wanted to do was fall apart.

Spencer sat watching her wife out of the corner of her eyes. She knew that Ashley was feeling the weight of having to be strong for all of them. She could see that Ashley was doing everything in her power to make things easier for Spencer and their children at the expense of herself. Ashley was a protector, she would put everyone's needs before her own and put up her façade of strength, when really she was screaming inside. Spencer knew her wife well enough to know that all this was killing her. She loved Ashley for being strong but she wanted to be able to comfort her as well.

Both women were torn from their contemplations when Dr. Gratis walked out and called them in. They rose to their feet, Ashley putting a protective arm around her wife, and followed the tiny grey haired woman back to her office. Dr. Rita Gratis was highly regarded in her field and usually it was impossible to get in to see her, but Paula had pulled some strings and gotten Spencer in.

Once they were seated in the office the tiny grey haired doctor slid on a pair of dainty glasses and took a seat at her desk, "It's a pleasure to meet you Spencer, your mother speaks very highly of you, and you too Ashley. It's a shame our meeting has to be under these circumstances."

Spencer smiled politely and grabbed Ashley's hand. Ashley gave her wife's hand a squeeze and smiled at the doctor, "Thank you Dr. Gratis, we really appreciate you taking on Spencer's case."

"It's my pleasure Ashley, the specific type of cancer Spencer has is one I have done a lot of research into, it's my area of particular interest and I have had a lot of experience working with patients with this type of cancer." Dr. Gratis explained in her quiet, calming voice.

"Yeah Paula was telling us, which is why we are so grateful to you for taking this case," Spencer said with a small smile.

Dr. Gratis smiled kindly and opened up the file in front of her, "Ok so what have you been told about Spencer's condition?"

"Um just that I have Leukaemia and will need to undergo treatment as soon as possible," Spencer answered in a small, frightened voice.

"Yes that's right, the sooner we start treatment the better. But before we talk about treatment options and that sort of thing I thought I would explain a bit more about your illness, is that alright?" Dr. Gratis suggested.

Ashley nodded, "Yes please, I am eager to know as much as possible about this disease." Spencer nodded her agreement and gave Ashley's hand a squeeze. Both of them were feeling anxious about what this appointment was going to reveal. At this stage all they knew was a broad diagnosis, now they were about to discover the full nature and extent of Spencer's illness and what that was going to mean for them.

Dr. Gratis looked seriously at the two women over the tops of her glasses and sighed. It was never easy telling people they had cancer, but when it was someone like Spencer who was young, in love and had children it was all the more tragic. Even after almost forty years of practicing medicine this never got any easier.

"Well what Spencer has is a type of Leukaemia, specifically she has Acute Lymphatic Leukaemia, or ALL. In ALL the cells that normally develop into lymphocytes become cancerous and replace normal cells in the bone marrow, which is why we took a bone marrow sample last week. This type of cancer occurs in people of all ages, most commonly children. It is not as common in people of your age Spencer, which is why initially Dr. Bronson thought it might have been a different type." Dr. Gratis explained gently. She knew it was a lot for the two women in front of her to take in.

Spencer nodded, her expression sadly thoughtful, "So what does that mean, what is this doing to my body?"

"Well in ALL the leukaemia cells build up in the bone marrow, destroying and replacing cells that produce normal blood cells. The cancer cells are carried around your body in your blood stream to various organs and can do some real damage. This is a serious condition, but I have had many patients go into complete remission and stay there," Dr. Gratis said reassuringly.

Ashley looked at her wife and took in the overwhelmed, stressed out look on her face. She knew this was steadily becoming too much for her beautiful blonde. "Dr. Gratis can you tell us what the prognosis is?" Ashley asked tentatively, terrified of the answer at the same time as being desperate for it.

"Well nearly 30 to 40 per cent of adults with ALL, who receive treatment go into remission and remain that way, patients who are not treated are usually expected to not live longer than three months," Dr. Gratis said softly.

Spencer let out a little whimper, so quiet only Ashley heard it, and tears swelled in her eyes, "So what you're saying doctor is that I have a 60 to 70 per cent chance of not getting better? And then if I don't have treatment I'll be dead in three months? I can't believe this." Ashley closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall and moved to wrap her arm around her wife's now quivering shoulders.

Dr. Gratis looked sympathetically at the young women in front of her and nodded sadly, "Yes Spencer, I'm afraid that is exactly what I'm saying. I know it's not the greatest of news, but with treatment we can give you the best possible chance to beat this. For most patients the first course of chemotherapy brings the disease into complete remission."

Spencer looked down at her lap and tried to keep her breathing under control. She raised her eyes to meet Ashley's, the broken look of fear and pain which made Ashley's eyes fill with tears again. Spencer's lower lips started to tremble as she got to her feet, seeing Ashley move to follow her Spencer held out her hand and murmured, "No please stay here I just need a moment, excuse me." Spencer flashed a look at the Doctor and ran from the room.

Ashley looked at the doctor and murmured, "I'm sorry Dr. Gratis, this is just hitting her hard."

"It's ok Ashley, I would be worried if it wasn't. I bet it's hitting you hard too," Dr. Gratis said with understanding.

"Yeah I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. Look I'll just go and check on Spencer and we'll be right back," Ashley smiled sadly and headed off after her wife.

Spencer was not hard to find, whenever she was upset she headed outside, she needed air and the outdoors. Ashley found her in a court yard just off the oncology ward, sitting quietly next to a pond full of gold fish just staring into the water as tears trickled down her face. Spencer raised her face to meet her wife's gaze, "I'm sorry I ran off like that, I just needed a minute to…I guess breathe. I knew having cancer was a bad thing, I knew the prognosis probably wasn't good, but I wasn't prepared for it to be that bad."

Ashley moved to sit beside her wife and took her into her arms. "Baby I know this is scary, honey it is for me too. I love you and I am going to be with you every step of the way. How about we go back in there and talk about treatment with the doctor? I figure the sooner we get the treatment started the better," Ashley murmured into her wife's silky blonde hair.

Spencer nodded and let Ashley help her to her feet. Arm in arm they re-entered the hospital and went back into the doctor's office. Dr. Gratis got to her feet as they walked in and moved around the desk. She had a very motherly feel to her which was good to provide a degree of comfort to the distressed blonde.

"Sorry I ran off like that doctor, I just needed a moment," Spencer apologised with a look of shame on her face.

"Spencer don't you dare apologise! You had just received some shocking news and it is more than understandable that you needed a moment before we continued! Hell between you and I, I would react the same way. Do you have any questions or is there anything you would like me to clarify?" Dr. Gratis asked kindly.

"No, I just want to talk about treatment so that we can get that underway as soon as possible. I need to know how we go about beating this thing," Spence answered with determination. Ashley looked proudly at her wife. Spencer was a fighter, always had been.

"Ok well we want to start you on chemotherapy right away, as in pretty much immediately. ALL can get worse quickly so we want to get on top of it as soon as we can. I have extensively studied your medical file and test results and I strongly believe that chemo is the best course of action for you. The chemo treatment for ALL begins with a three drug schedule so I would like to admit you to hospital tomorrow so we can begin treatment. Sometimes chemo is done on an outpatient basis but I think the initial phase of chemo treatment would be best done while you're in hospital." Dr Gratis explained.

Spencer turned to Ashley and looked at her in horror. She had not thought she would be admitted to hospital. The thought of being away from her children, Ashley, and yes her new puppy was devastating. Turning back to the doctor Spencer asked, "Are you sure I need to come into hospital? I really don't want to be away from my kids."

"I understand, and yes we could do this as an outpatient arrangement but it would mean you would have to come into the hospital every third day for a month for treatment and you will have to be very careful at home. I guess, and I don't mean to be presumptuous, but that money is not an issue for you?" On Ashley nod the doctor continued, "Well we could arrange a nurse to come to your place and help out. If you are adamant about staying at home then we can try and make it work." Dr. Gratis suggested.

"Yes, please that would be great. I think being away from my kids and home will make it harder to recover. I want to be with my family," Spencer said leaning into her wife. Ashley tightened her hold on her wife and kissed the top of her head gently.

"Ok we'll make it happen. Ashley this might mean some extra work for you as well," Dr. Gratis said.

"Oh I know, that is fine I want to help. I will be taking a leave of absence from work, I own my own record label so being the boss I can delegate. I will be there to help in any way I can through out this," Ashley said with determination. Spencer smiled in adoration up at her wife.

They discussed the treatment and what was going to happen for a bit longer, Dr. Gratis making sure they were prepared to handle the treatment of this illness from home. It was organised that Spencer would return to the hospital the next day to meet her home care nurse and to start treatment.

After a very lengthy conversation, which Spencer wasn't sure she'd fully absorbed they headed out to the car, both quiet and deep in thought. Spencer was starting to really panic about what the coming months were going to mean for her family, she was more worried about the impact her illness was going to have on her family than on herself.

Ashley was pondering what the coming months were going to mean for her wife and children. She knew that it was the right thing to keep Spencer at home with the children and her while she was under going treatment, they would all benefit immensely from it. Ashley also knew from experience that she did not sleep well without her wife in the bed with her, preferably in her arms.

They were in the car and on their way home before Spencer broke the silence between them. "So do you think this is the right thing? I mean me not going into hospital?" The blonde asked hesitantly.

"Yeah Baby I do, I can't stand the thought of you being away from us for a long period of time, and I know you can't either. I think the stress of being away from your family would be detrimental to your health. Look if it seems like its not working out we'll admit you to hospital for you treatment, but I think it will be ok. I mean I'll be there, your Mom will like never leave ever," Spencer giggled at that, "and we'll have the nurse there round the clock. Baby if I thought this was a bad idea I would have fought for you to go into hospital. Nothing matters more to me than getting you well again." Ashley answered.

"Ok then. Have I told you today that I love you?" Spencer asked with a sweet smile.

"Yeah you have but tell me again," Ashley said teasingly.

Spencer giggled and reached over to place her hand on her wife's thigh, "Sweetheart, I love you so much. Thank you for being so strong, but Ash I want you to know that you can fall apart too. I'll be here to catch you, and I always will be. I know you and I know you are putting on a brave front because you feel like you have to be strong for me and the kids, but baby you don't have to be strong all the time. You can fall to pieces any time you need to."

Ashley sighed and reached her hand down to squeeze her wife's, "I sometimes forget how well you know me. I just want to look after you and the kids. I can protect you all from a lot of things, but not this cancer and its fucking killing me." Ashley pulled up in front of their house and shut of the car.

She turned to face her wife and smiled sadly. Spencer leaned forward and cupped Ashley's face in her hands, "Baby I love you and I love that you want to protect us, but you have to let me look after you too. We are a team you and me, please don't hide behind a shield of strength and bravery. Ash you are allowed to be vulnerable too."

Ashley blinked hard a few times and then her tears started to fall hard and fast. Spencer jumped out of the car and ran around to the driver's side. She threw open the door and pulled her wife into her arms. Ashley buried her face into Spencer's chest and sobbed brokenly, her whole body convulsing as she cried. Spencer stroked her hair and back comfortingly and murmured nonsensical words to sooth her distraught wife.

They stood like that for a long time as Ashley unleashed a torrent of fear, pain and sorrow. Spencer cried silently as she held her wife. She hated that she (well her cancer) was causing the woman she loved so much pain.

Once Ashley's cries had lessened Spencer helped her from the car and they stumbled inside wrapped in each other's arms. The children and Oliver the puppy were staying at Aiden and Kyla's that night so they had the house to themselves. Spencer helped her wife up the stairs to their bedroom where she laid her down on their big bed.

Spencer stood at the foot of the bed and slowly removed her clothes until she was standing naked before her wife. Ashley gasped at the changes in her wife's body. Spencer had not allowed herself to be naked in front of her wife unless it was in total darkness since before she had gone to New York. Ashley moved to the end of the bed and sat staring at her fragile, yet hauntingly beautiful wife. "Spence…" She whispered.

"This is what this disease has done to me Ash, I see the changes in myself and it terrifies me because I know that the worst it still to come. I know you're scared too Baby, so please let's be scared together. No more hiding how we feel to protect each other. What we both need now is to draw strength from the love that exists between us, from the bond that we have had since the day we met when we were 16 years old. Fifteen years after I first met you and I am still desperately in love with you Ashley Davies. Our story is not over by a long shot my Darling. We are going to stand together and fight this disease so that we get at least another fifty years together on this earth. Do you understand me?" Spencer said in a tender, yet stern voice.

Ashley rose to her feet and swept her frightenly thin wife up in her arms. Spencer felt like she barely weighed a thing and it was devastating. Spencer was pale and much thinner then she had been not too long ago. Her once flawless skin was a mess of old and new bruises that broke her wife's heart.

Ashley tenderly placed her wife on their bed and stripped out of her own clothing before joining Spencer on their big bed. They snuggled together under the covers, skin on skin in each others arms.

"We get at least another fifty years together," Ashley whispered, echoing Spencer's words. Spencer leaned in and captured her wife's lips in a sweet, loving kiss.

"That's right my love, we get a life time together and nothing, not cancer, not anything is going to take that away from us. I love you Ashley Davies and I am not going anywhere!' Spencer said desperately before she covered her wife's face in adoring kisses.

Ashley pulled her wife's body against her own and gently ran her hands over familiar curves that were now more bony and lean than they ever had been. No matter what though, Spencer would always be the most beautiful woman in the world to Ashley.

The two women soon lost themselves in a world of ecstasy they could only find together. The next day the battle would truly begin.

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	16. Let The Battle Begin

**Thanks to all who review. I find myself really struggling with this story, but your words of encouragement help in a big way.**

**2bz2breading, ilovemyself26, buff802y, Coachkimm – Thank you for your kind words**

**somthgIlike2do – Thank you, I felt the need for Spencer to really show her vulnerability to Ashley and that felt like the way to do it.**

**WillowOn3 – Ashley had to have her moment to be comforted too. You can only be strong for so long before you break. I did quite a lot of research for this story and I'm glad it shows. Thanks, I will one day get another puppy lol**

**mutt009 – time to kick some cancer's butt!**

**hugbuddy13 – yep they had sex, sorry if that wasn't clear. Thanks for reviewing**

**LoveAsh87 – Thanks for the review!**

**0A – something's not even cancer can destroy and Spencer and Ashley is one of them. **

**jareaufan – Thank you so much, that truly means a lot.**

**Usual disclaimer, SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Sixteen ****– Let The Battle Begin**

Spencer woke up before her wife and slipped carefully out of bed. She slipped on a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top before pulling on her silk robe and slipping from their room with her bouncy puppy, Oliver, on her heels. She padded down the stairs and out towards the deck over looking the beach with her little golden fluff ball plodding along behind her. The sun was just starting to rise over the horizon, the different hues reflecting over the water.

Spencer slid open the back sliding, glass door and walked barefoot across the deck and down onto the sand. She hung her robe over the railing of the deck and wandered out over the sand towards the water as though drawn by some invisible force.

Spencer stepped forward to meet the tide and let the cold, fresh water wash over her bare feet as Oliver growled and chased the tide, making a smile break out on her face. The beach had always had a particularly soothing effect on her and considering what the day a head was going to bring, Spencer needed to be soothed. She walked slowly along the sand, letting the ocean flow over her feet and around her legs as her puppy played.

She smiled softly and turned her face to the rising sun, relishing in the warmth it brought. She kept walking, wrapping her arms around herself. Spencer was so lost in thought that she didn't sense that she had an audience. Ashley leaned on the railing surrounding their deck and watched her wife stroll along the sand with her puppy at her side.

The moment Spencer had slipped from their bed Ashley had woken up, it was like her Spencer sense was in over-drive since Spencer had gotten her diagnosis. Ashley felt hyper aware of her wife, even more so than usual.

Her instincts were screaming at her to go with her wife, but Ashley knew that the beautiful blonde needed some time to prepare herself for what that day was going to bring. The advantage of having known Spencer for fifteen years was that Ashley could read her like no other and pretty much always instantly picked up on what she needed, even when Spencer wasn't sure of it herself.

Ashley watched the rising sun bathe her wife in a golden glow and smiled as Spencer leant down to scoop up her puppy as he bolted away from the in coming tide. Spencer cradled his small body to her chest and kissed his wet nose as he furiously wagged his tail, making it thump against her stomach.

Ashley wished she had a camera to capture the moment. She felt as though her heart was bursting with love for the beautiful blonde strolling along the shore. She watched for a few more minutes until Spencer turned back towards the house and then she slipped inside to hide the fact she had been watching over her. Her fiercely independent wife had never liked being 'watched over', Ashley firmly believe it was a through back to having been raised by a strict, over-protective Catholic mother.

Ashley greeted Rosa who was preparing breakfast as she slipped through the kitchen door. "Morning Rosa."

"Good morning Ashley, Spencer out on the beach?" Rosa asked with a kind, motherly smile.

Ashley chuckled, "Yeah where else would she be? I think she was introducing Oliver to the ocean." Rosa smiled again and poured Ashley a cup of coffee. The two women stood talking for a while as Ashley filled her in on what would be happening with Spencer's treatment. Rosa had been working for them for over eight years now and was considered family so she was extremely close to them all.

"Ashley whatever I can do to help, please just let me know," Rosa offered, her dark brown eyes shining with tears.

"Thank you, I'm taking her to the hospital this morning for her first chemo treatment, but then I have a meeting a work. I am letting them know that I am taking an indefinite leave of absence so I can be here for Spencer and the children. I think Spencer has a teleconference with the producers and studio heads about the movie she's been working on this evening so if you could keep an eye on her for me I'd appreciate it. I think Glen is dropping the kids off just before dinner time," Ashley said tiredly. It was barely 7 am and she was already exhausted by the day.

"Of course," Rosa said as she started getting a bowl of food ready for Oliver.

Spencer strode into the kitchen with the puppy hot on her heels and smiled warmly at both women already in the kitchen. "Good morning Rosa, and good morning Baby," Spencer said softly as she stepped into the laundry and grabbed a towel to dry off Oliver who had gotten 'attacked' by the incoming tide.

With the wriggling puppy wrapped up in a towel, Spencer took a seat at the table and lovingly dried him off. Ashley smiled fondly and took a seat next to Spencer so she could pat the struggling puppy. The both laughed as he poked his head out of the towel and stared adoringly up at them with a goofy puppy grin.

Once Oliver was dried and placed on the ground to eat his breakfast Spencer moved to sit on her wife's lap. She leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Ashley's lips, whispering, "Good Morning again my love."

Ashley smiled into the kiss and murmured back, "Good morning to you again too my Darling. How are you feeling?"

Spencer smiled reassuringly, "I'm ok Sweetheart, a little nervous about later, but I am pretty ready to get this treatment underway. I'd by lying if I didn't admit that I am a bit scared though."

"Well that is perfectly understandable Baby, I'd be worried if you weren't a bit scared. I promise I will be with you through out this. Man I am starting to sound like a broken record, but I mean it. I will be here with you for all of this. I am going into the office this evening to tell them that I am taking a leave of absence and then after that I am all yours my lovely," Ashley said in a soft tender voice, the voice that was reserved for Spencer and their children.

"Are you sure that you want to do that? I know what the label means to you Ash," Spencer said, biting her lip and looking sadly at her wife.

"You mean more," Ashley said simply before capturing her wife's lips in a sweet kiss.

The morning passed quickly and before they knew it they were back at the hospital and Spencer was being prepared for her first round of chemotherapy. Spencer was taken into a room and set up in a bed while they got her ready so that treatment could begin. Ashley was nervously pacing the room, watching the nurses work around her wife.

Ashley stopped pacing and moved to Spencer's side when Dr. Gratis walked in. "Good morning ladies, how are you feeling today?" The doctor asked with her usual kind, motherly smile.

"Um I think nervous doesn't quite cover it doctor," Spencer said with a smile that came out as more of a grimace.

"I would say that's understandable dear. Look we'll try and have this treatment today over with as painlessly as possible, but I think you understand the reality of this situation, the treatment is not going to be easy on you Spencer," Dr. Gratis explained as she pulled up a seat next to Spencer's bed.

"Yeah I figured doc, I just want to start fighting this thing so I can live a long and happy life with my beautiful wife and wonderful kids," Spencer smiled lovingly at Ashley who grinned back as she blinked back tears.

"You two remind me of me and my late husband, Bert. It is really very heart warming to see the love between you, especially after hearing Paula brag about her wonderful daughter-in-law and how happy her daughter is," Dr. Gratis said with a soft smile.

Ashley and Spencer smiled at each other and then at the doctor. Dr. Gratis got to her feet and walked up to the head of the bed to lay her hand on Spencer's shoulder, "ok dear you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Spencer said settling herself more comfortably in the bed as Ashley moved closer to her side and grasped her hand in a strong, loving grip. Spencer smiled gratefully up at her before her attention was caught by the nurse walking towards her with an instrument tray.

The nurse was a kindly looking older woman with grey streaked blonde hair and twinkling brown eyes. She smiled at the younger women and placed the instrument tray next to the bed.

Dr. Gratis got to her feet and smiled at the nurse, "Spencer, Ashley this is Judy Hall, she will be your nurse. We have already organised for her to come to your place daily so she can help look after Spencer from home, she will also come into the hospital with you for treatments so that she can help and stay fully informed so we can provide you the best possible care. Jude this is Spencer and Ashley Davies."

Judy stepped forward and gave Spencer's hand a comforting squeeze while smiling sweetly at both of them, "It's a pleasure to meet you both. I want you to know that I have been an oncology nurse for thirty years, twenty of which have had me working with Dr. Gratis here, I also have organised one of my colleague, Helen, who will be along soon, to fill in anytime I am not there. I will do everything in my power to help you through this. Do you have any questions?"

Spencer shook her head and smiled gratefully. Ashley looked thoughtful and smiled, "Thank you for agreeing to help us out, I hate to be blunt but you are aware that we're gay right?"

Judy turned to Dr. Gratis and let out a small chuckle, "yes Ashley I assumed as much. I have absolutely no problem with that, in fact me and my wife went through something similar about fifteen years ago when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was tough on me and our children so I understand what you are going through."

Ashley looked a little embarrassed, "um I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume anything. Is your wife alright now?"

Judy smiled kindly and nodded, "Its ok Ashley and yes she's fine, she made a full recovery and is now enjoying a life of retirement babysitting our grandkids."

Ashley and Spencer smiled at Judy then at each other. Judy grinned back, "Ok ladies let's get this started."

Spencer's treatment took several hours. They gave her a cocktail of chemotherapy drugs intravenously through a vein in her left arm and monitored her through out the treatment. Ashley did not leave her side once.

Once the first treatment was completed and Spencer was given the all clear to be taken home Ashley hurried her out to the car and drove her home with Judy following behind them in her own car with Helen, who would be assisting her with Spencer's care.

Spencer rested her head wearily against the soft leather of the car seat and closed her eyes. She felt utterly wretched. She was sore, tired and had a pounding head ache. She kind of just wanted to sleep for like a year and wake up with her cancer all gone.

Ashley glanced over at her wife and felt her heart constrict and the exhaustion on her face. Spencer looked so frail resting against the seat. After a pretty short drive home Ashley parked the Porsche in front of the house and climbed out to help Spencer from the car. Spencer took the offered hand and stepped sluggishly from the car.

Judy and Helen were right behind them and followed Spencer and Ashley into the house with bags of medical supplies that they would use to help Spencer and try and keep her as well as possible.

Ashley led Spencer straight upstairs so she could rest after treatment and regain some energy before the kids came home and monopolised her attention. Now Spencer wouldn't have it any other way, but it was pretty obvious that the kids wore her out very quickly.

Spencer climbed onto their bed and let Ashley pull of her shoes before she slid under the covers. Oliver came bounding into the room and launched himself onto the bed, just making it. He crawled straight over Ashley, who was perching on the side closest to Spencer, and curled up against Spencer's stomach.

Spencer grinned and stroked his baby soft fur. Ashley smiled at her wife and the puppy and sat there until both drifted off to sleep. She climbed to her feet and headed across the hall to the guest room where the nurses and Rosa were setting up all the medical supplies. The guest room was now being dubbed, 'the nurses station' and would be the base of operations in the Davies house for the war against this cancer.

"Hey Judy, Helen, have you got everything you need in here?" Ashley asked as she smiled tiredly at the two nurses and Rosa.

"No, we're good. Is Spencer asleep?" Judy asked with a motherly smile. Ashley nodded and leaned heavily against the door frame.

"That's to be expected, the treatment takes a lot out of patients," Helen said kindly.

Ashley sighed and smiled gratefully, "I have to go into the office, I am going in to tell my execs that I'm taking an indefinite leave of absence. I'll try to be back as soon as I can, if Spencer needs anything please call me." Ashley turned to leave after all three women promised to call if anything came up. "Oh and Spencer has a conference call at 7pm with the studio heads and producers on her new film, I should be back for that, but just in case her assistant, Julia, will be stopping by to help with that. Oh and the kids will be back around 6 I think. Ok I'm off."

The nurses and Rosa smiled at Ashley's retreating back. She really would do anything for her family.

Helen smiled at Judy and murmured, "They remind me of you and Gale."

Judy beamed, "I thought the same thing when I first met them, Ashley is far too much like Gale." Helen and Judy laughed. Judy caught Rosa's confused expression and explained, "Gale is my wife, we've been together almost thirty years now and have three children with six...no seven grandkids. We went through a similar situation about fifteen years ago, Gale had breast cancer."

Rosa nodded and smiled kindly, "Ah can I assume then, if Gale is like our Ashley, that she can be rather stubborn and fiercely loyal."

Judy nodded and laughed, "Yeah that's my Gale. If you'll excuse me I'll just go check on Spencer."

Judy paused in the doorway and said with a thoughtful expression on her face, "You know medicine can do a lot, but I honestly think it was the power of the love Gale and I have that got her through the cancer, maybe it will be the same for Spencer and Ashley." Rosa and Helen grinned at the thought. You really couldn't deny the power of love, especially the love between Spencer and Ashley.


	17. Priorities

**Thank you to all who reviewed, it was much appreciated.**

**Usual disclaimer, SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Seventeen – Priorities **

Ashley stood nervously in front of a boardroom full of all the executives and producers that worked for her record label. She knew she was doing the right thing, her place was with her wife and children during this time. She loved her company and the music they made, but nothing compared to the love she felt for her family.

Ashley cleared her throat and the assembled people all fell silent, waiting for their CEO and founder to tell them all the reason for this meeting. It was a relatively intimate group of people who worked at the label, most of them had been there from the day the label was launched and many had know Ashley since she was in diapers, having known her father. For a large company, it remarkably operated like a family.

"Well I wanted to first of all thank you all for being here. I have some news I need to tell you. I won't beat around the bush, I'll just get right to it. Now you have all met my beautiful wife," Ashley paused and looked around the room as everyone nodded and most smiled fondly as they thought of the blonde who always brought a giddy smile to their boss' face, "Well as some of you know Spencer has been unwell lately and last week we were given a diagnosis. Uh, she has um Leukaemia." Ashley had to blink hard to stop as tears filled her eyes.

The assembled people all sat in stunned silence, not quite believing their ears. Spencer Carlin-Davies was a kind hearted woman with a young family and a thriving career. Hell she was only 31 years old for God's sake, it just was too unreal that she would have this disease.

She and Ashley were seen as the perfect couple, even after so many years together their love was strong and the envy of all who knew them. They really were the golden couple. You have a high powered, successful record label owner and a respected, sought after film director, both of them beautiful, intelligent, compassionate women. This sort of thing was not expected to happen to them.

"Ashley, I'm so sorry. That is just awful. Is there anything we can do?" Celia Banks asked with concern. Celia had been a friend of her fathers and was now the vice president of the label. She had been instrumental in helping Ashley set it up.

Ashley smiled gratefully at the older woman and said, "Thank you and actually there is something you can all do, it's why I asked you all here."

Ashley paused and glanced around the room at the people who had become family in the eleven years since she had started the label. They were good people and she felt confident leaving her label in their hands. Taking a deep breath Ashley started speaking, "well what I need from you all is some help. As of today I am taking an indefinite leave of absence from the label. I need to be at home with my wife and children and that means I need to step away from the label for a while."

There was a rumbled of voices as everyone at the table turned to their neighbour and started talking in hushed voices. Ashley held up her hand to silence them and continued, "I know this is a lot to take in but this is what is going to happen. I am not here to debate, I need to take some time to be with my family through this, they will always come first. I know I am leaving this label in very capable hands. I will still be in contact and will expect weekly updates, but the day to day running of the label I'll be leaving to you guys."

Ashley stepped around the table and rested her hand on Celia's shoulder, "In my absence Celia will standing in as President."

Celia's eyes snapped up to her young boss' and she smiled gratefully, "really?"

Ashley smiled kindly and squeezed her shoulder, "yeah really. Ok do you guys have any questions at this stage?"

Ashley spent the next half an hour fielding questions and explaining the situation in detail. Once everyone was on the same page she said her goodbyes and walked out of the board room, a sense of relief washing over her. She knew she had done the right thing for her and her family.

Ashley was half way to the elevator when Celia stopped her with a gentle hand on the shoulder, "Ashley please tell Spencer I'm thinking of her and if any of you need anything please call me, ok?"

Ashley smiled and pulled the older woman into a warm hug, "Thanks Cel that means a lot. I'd better get home, the kids will be back soon and Spencer had a work thing I wanted to be there for." The women said their goodbyes and Ashley headed home to her family.

She walked in the door to absolute bedlam. Hannah and Lucas were both throwing epic tantrums. They were both red in the face and crying. Rosa was looking frightened and upset while Judy just looked concerned. Helen must have been upstairs with Spencer.

Ashley stepped into the house and looked around her in shock, "What is going on here?" she asked.

Hannah and Lucas spun around and bolted to her, both launching themselves into her arms, "Momma, they won't let us go and see Mommy!" Hannah cried.

Rosa stepped forward and explained, "Ashley all we said was that Mommy is sleeping and that they could see her in a little while."

Ashley knelt down on the floor in front of her children and gave them a stern look, "Hey I know you want to see your Mommy, but she's not well and she needs her sleep ok? Mommy will be up soon and then you can both go and see her ok?"

Hannah and Lucas both nodded tearfully and let Ashley lead them by the hand into the living room where she switched on the T.V. for them and left them to watch until dinner. She walked back out to the foyer and flashed apologetic smiles at Rosa and Judy who both waved off her apology good naturedly.

The tension and fear in the house was clearly having an impact on the children. They never usually behaved like that. In fact Spencer and Ashley prided themselves on the fact that their children were respectful and very well behaved unless there was a good reason for them not to be.

Ashley walked over to Judy and together they climbed the stairs. "So how is she?" Ashley asked as soon as she was out of the kid's earshot.

Judy smiled softly, "She's doing ok Ashley, she slept a lot today, which is pretty normal. When you add in the stress of the treatment with everything else it's normal that she has needed to sleep a lot. She woke up earlier and ate some food which is a good sign, she hasn't been drinking as much as I'd like though."

Ashley nodded and they walked together into the bedroom where Spencer was sitting propped up in be with Helen by her side, clearly having just woken up. Spencer's face lit up when she saw her wife, a warm smile covering her lips. Ashley crossed the room and took a seat on the bed so she could pull her wife into her arms.

"How are you Baby?" Ashley murmured into silky blonde hair.

"I'm ok Love, really. Are the kids home?" Spencer asked, her face lighting up at the thought of her children.

"Yeah, they're downstairs and I know they want to see you," Ashley murmured softy, aware of Judy and Helen slipping out of the room.

Spencer snuggled deeper into her wife's embrace and smiled softly, "Ok well I'll come down then, and my teleconference is at 7 right?"

"Yep 7, everything is ready to go in the office so at 7 we'll get you all set up in there ok beautiful?" Ashley said as she placed a gentle kiss on her wife's nose. Oliver chose that moment to ambled up the bed and situate himself across the laps of both women. They giggled and patted him lovingly.

"So how did it go at the label?" Spencer asked with a tender smile for her brunette beauty.

"It went well. Celia will be acting as President and now I can focus on you and the kids," Ashley said with a relieved smile.

Spencer bit her lip and murmured, "I love you, you know that. I am so grateful that you would do this for me, for us."

"Hey, of course I did. You need me and there is no where I'd rather be!" Ashley stated with a determined nod that made her wife giggle.

After a few minutes Spencer slid out of the bed and pulled on her robe. Ashley sat and watched as her wife stood in front of the mirror and just gazed at herself. Spencer sighed and picked up her brush. As she ran the bristles through her baby soft hair she met Ashley's eyes in the glass. "You know what makes me so angry at myself?" Spencer muttered.

Ashley got to her feet and moved to stand beside her, "What's that Baby?"

"Right now all I can think of is the fact that I am going to lose my hair. I mean how stupid is that?! I am undergoing treatment for a disease that might kill me and all I can think about is the fact that I might lose my fucking hair! How stupid and vain can I be?!" Spencer spat out, brushing her hair roughly.

Ashley reached out and took the brush from her wife's hand and began gently running it through the silky blonde strands. "Honey, it's not stupid. How you feel is _never_ stupid. Spencer you can't be hard on yourself for how you feel, this is a stressful time and we're not always going to think rationally. Spence did you ever think that you might be fixated on your hair so you don't have to think too much about everything else?" Ashley murmured softly as she continued to brush her hair.

Spencer smiled thinly and nodded, "maybe, I dunno. Let's go down stairs, I want to see the kids."

Ashley put the brush down and took her wife's hand in hers. They headed downstairs and to the living room with Oliver on their heels. As soon as they set foot in the room the kids were off the sofa and launching themselves into Spencer's arms, making her almost fall back with the force.

Ashley, thankfully, was behind her wife and was able to steady her before she ass planted it on the floor. She looked angrily at the kids and snapped, "Hey you two, be careful with Mommy! You've got to be gentler!"

Three pairs of blue eyes turned to look at her, one pair in annoyance and two pairs in shame. Lucas pouted and kissed Spencer on the cheek, "Sorry Mommy! I didn't mean to hurt you."

Spencer leaned in and kissed both kids on their foreheads before soothingly saying, "Its ok Sweetheart, Mommy is ok."

The family sat down for dinner soon after, the kids both thrilled to be home with their moms and Ashley constantly sneaking glances at Spencer who wasn't eating all that much. Spencer pasted a smile on her face and chatted animatedly to her children as they filled her in on everything they had done since they'd last seen her.

At 6.45 Spencer excused herself and headed to the office with her assistant to prepare for her teleconference. She pulled out her notes and began to read through them. She was just about to get her assistant to call through to the production office at New Line when Ashley came in.

Spencer smiled expectantly and when Ashley made no response she asked, "So what are you doing here Ash?"

"Well I just wanted to support you Spence," Ashley replied with a slight frown.

"It's ok Love. I'll come find you once we're done. They already know that I'm sick, I told them this afternoon in an email. This call is really just to figure out next steps for this picture and whether I can still be involved," Spencer explained.

"What do you mean 'whether you can still be involved'? Spencer you have to focus on getting better and there is no way you can make a movie while you do that," Ashley said with a frown. Spencer assistant started to look really uncomfortable as she pretended to straighten up the notes on the desk.

Spencer sighed and shook her head, "Will you just go? I have to get this call started."

Ashley looked her wife incredulously for a moment before she got to her feet and left. About an hour later Ashley was just putting the kids to bed when a very worn out looking Spencer exited the office and sent her assistant home. Spencer joined her wife in Lucas' bedroom and said her good nights to her son, and then her daughter as they tucked her in together.

Ashley softly closed Hannah's door and headed down to their bedroom. The nurses had left for the night after leaving explicit instructions for Spencer to follow. Ashley was standing in their bedroom with all the supplies and as soon as Spencer walked in she helped her wife through a night time routine that involved a special sponge tooth brush and mouth wash.

Spencer sighed as her wife took her through the motions almost silently, just providing instructions along the way. Once they were both ready for bed they slid under the covers and Spencer turned on her side to face her wife who was pouting moodily.

"Ash, I'm sorry for being short with you earlier, I'm not feeling like myself today. I'm stressed and scared and I took it out on you…again. I'm sorry Ashley," Spencer murmured softly.

Ashley smiled and reached over to cup her wife's cheek, "It's ok Darling, I get it. Is everything ok with the movie?"

Spencer sighed and shook her head, "No not really. I told them I couldn't direct it, in my condition I just couldn't. Apparently Sophia Bush told them she wouldn't do the film unless I was directing, Rachel McAdams said the same. According to Sophia no one else will get the story and do it justice like I would. The studio heads freaked out and tried to talk them into it to no avail. It looks like the production is going to be postponed for a while in the hopes I'll become well enough to direct it. Problem is I may never be well enough."

Ashley scooted over in their big bed and pulled Spencer against her chest, "hey don't think like that! You will be well enough again one day. We are going to beat this thing and hey what a compliment is it that they only want you?"

Spencer began to smile and soon Ashley had her laughing and joking, her fears momentarily forgotten. They fell asleep soon after, snuggled in each other's arms, with Oliver curled up at their feet.


	18. Beacause I Know You

**Thanks reviewers.**

**LoveAhs87, hugbuddy13, mutt009 and freakanatomy – much appreciated**

**Usual disclaimer, SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Eighteen – ****Because I Know You**

Spencer lay heavily back against her bed. She had just returned from the hospital after having her chemotherapy session and felt like utter shit. She sighed tiredly and breathed through the waves of nausea racing through her stomach.

It had been three weeks since she had begun treatment and it was starting to hit her body hard. She felt sicker now than she had before starting treatment, which everyone told her was perfectly normal and to be expected. It didn't make it anymore pleasant for her though. Especially knowing that she had a week left of the initial stage of her chemo therapy and then, if she was in remission, the second phase would begin which would mean over four months of more chemo.

Spencer took a sip of water from the glass by her bedside and closed her eyes. She lay prone in bed as a wave of extreme nausea hit her body. She breathed deeply, hoping it would pass and then had to stagger to her feet and bolt into the ensuite to empty her stomach into the toilet. Since the chemo had started she was barely keeping any food down and it was taking its toll. Spencer was thinner and gaunter than she had ever been in her life. She had always been thin, but now she was practically skeletal.

Spencer felt a hand on her back and a cool cloth being placed on her forehead. She raised her glazed eyes up to look at Judy who was standing behind her as she hunched over the toilet. "Its ok love, it's going to be ok," Judy said in a kind, motherly voice. Spencer sighed and shook her head, she didn't entirely believe her.

After they were sure Spencer had nothing left in her to throw up, Judy helped the fragile woman to her feet and over to the sink where she carefully rinsed out her mouth and brushed her teeth with a special sponge on a stick. Due to the high chance of Spencer getting abrasions in her mouth, no tooth brush was allowed. Once that was done Judy helped her back to bed.

Spencer sighed and waited until the nurse has left the room, closing over the door slightly, but never all the way. She snuggled down under the covers and prayed to whatever higher power there was that her nurse, wife and children would give her a little space. Since she had started treatment she had barely had a moments peace. She appreciated that everyone was trying to help and make thing easier for her, but sometimes it made her feel like a totally invalid and she did not like that feeling one bit.

Spencer had a fiercely independent streak running through her and was much more comfortable being the carer than being cared for. She was really struggling with having to be so reliant on others and not being able to take care of her family the way she wanted to.

Spencer heard the bedroom door creak as it opened and sighed, waiting for someone to ask her how she was doing for the eight hundredth time that day. She felt the bed dip slightly and looked up, giggling a little to herself when she was met with the big, goofy puppy grin Oliver was bestowing on her.

Oliver wagged his tail furiously as his mistress smiled at him and then snuggled up to her so he could get his nap in too. Spencer settled back against the pillows and wrapped an arm around her big golden puppy as she drifted off to sleep.

Ashley slipped into the room a little while later to check on her wife, smiling fondly when she found her snuggled up to the puppy. She was so glad she had gotten him for Spencer, he really seemed to cheer her up. He adored the whole family, but it was clear for all to see that he was Spencer's dog.

Ashley settled next to her wife on the bed and began tenderly stroking Spencer's long, silky blonde hair. She kept stroking gently and then gasped in horror as she saw a mass of long hair come loose in her hand. Ashley gasp shocked Spencer awake, making her jerk up into a sitting position and glance at her wife in fear.

"Ash, what's going on?" Spencer asked with fear evident in her voice as her big blue eyes widened in apprehension.

Ashley shook her head and stammered, "Nothing, um nothing at all Sweetheart. I promise you everything's fine, you should go back to sleep Spence."

Spencer folded her arms over her chest and glared at her wife, "You have always been a really shitty liar Ashley Davies, now tell me what's going on?"

Ashley swallowed and sat closer to Spencer on the bed, "It's really nothing Spence, I just got a shock is all. I was stroking your hair and uh…um well some of it came lose in my hand. I mean we expected that didn't we? From the chemo?"

Spencer stared at her in horror and pushed past Ashley so she could climb out of the bed. She strode quickly over to the mirror above their chest of draws and began running her trembling hands through her lustrous blonde hair, tears filling her eyes as it came lose in her hands.

Spencer slumped to the floor, holding the loose strands in her hands as she stared down at them. Spencer started to laugh bitterly, the sound bringing tears to Ashley's eyes as she moved to her wife's side.

Ashley knelt down beside her trembling wife and places a tentative hand on her shoulder, "Spencer, it's alright. We knew this was going to happen. Once you're all better and this cancer is gone it will grow back. Come on Darling, its ok."

Spencer shook her head and closed her eyes hard against the tears that threatened to fall. She felt certain that she couldn't tell her wife what was really bothering her, Ashley would instantly reassure her and comfort her because she was a good person and hated seeing her wife in pain, but it wouldn't make it go away. The fears and insecurities would still be there.

Spencer struggled to her feet, ignoring her wife's outstretched hand and climbed back into bed, feeling completely worn out. She rolled onto her side so her back was facing the brunette and closed her eyes tightly.

Ashley sighed and moved over to the bed she shared with her wife and perched on the edge before resting her hand on her wife's back, hating the way Spencer tensed up under her touch. "Spencer I know what's bothering you and you have nothing to worry about at all my Darling," Ashley murmured softly.

Spencer turned so that she was lying on her back looking up at her very tired looking wife. She felt terrible about the impact this was having on her wife. Ashley would never complain though, she was an amazing woman. Spencer's lower lip trembled violently as she choked out, "This isn't about my hair Ash."

Ashley smiled sadly, "Oh I know it isn't, it's because you think I'm not going to be attracted to you anymore with all the changes this disease and treatment are causing in your body, am I right?"

Spencer gazed up at her incredulously, "How did you…?"

Ashley smiled lovingly as she rested her hand on Spencer's flat stomach, "Because I know you Spencer Carlin-Davies. I know you better than I know myself and I can read what you're thinking every time I look into those fucking breath-taking blue eyes of yours. Sweetheart I know that you're scared and feeling unsure about everything right now, but one thing you can always be sure of is how much I love you and how much I want you. God I always want you and nothing, not cancer, not you losing all your hair, nothing is ever going to change that. Spencer you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known, both inside and out and I am so fucking attracted to you I think one day it will drive me totally insane."

Spencer let the tears in her eyes fall at her wife's heartfelt words and reached up to rest her hand on the back of Ashley's neck so she could pull her down for a tender kiss. Ashley smiled against her wife's lips and moved to lie more over her when she heard a yelp and felt the bed move underneath her. They broke apart and looked down at a disgruntled Oliver who had just been squashed by Ashley.

Spencer scoped him up in her arms and cooed, "Oh my poor little baby boy, did mean Ashley hurt you!" Spencer looked at her wife with a warm smile, which Ashley eagerly returned.

Ashley patted the puppy on the head as he snuggled against Spencer and wagged his tail furiously and apologised, "Sorry little man, I was trying to get to at least second base with your very gorgeous owner here."

Spencer chuckled softly and smiled tiredly up at her wife, "I'm sure that would have been pretty damn good, but sadly his owner is feeling all kinds of tired. If you don't mind I'll take a nap now so I can have some energy for when the kids get home."

Ashley nodded and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her wife's lips, careful to avoid squashing the puppy again. "Sleep my beautiful one and I'll come and wake you up when the kids get home from school. I love you."

"Love you too," Spencer murmured sleepily as she snuggled into the plush pillows and warm covers of their bed. Ashley lovingly stroked her wife's arm until Spencer was blissfully asleep and then left the room to do some work in the office Spencer had set up for them when the kids were small. It was so that they could work from home and be with the family as often as they could.

The office was fitted out in dark wood and brown leather. It was elegant and comfortable and very Spencer. There were two desks situated across from each other. Behind one were movie posters, costumes, awards and movie memorabilia and behind the other were posters of bands, record covers, signed photographs and awards. Now I'm sure you think that the desk with the movie memorabilia is Spencer's…well you'd be wrong. That is Ashley's desk. She had insisted that she get to be surrounded by her wife's achievements. Spencer had willingly agreed and had the office set up so that each woman was surrounded by the others career achievements.

On the wall directly across from the door, in between the two desks, was a huge family portrait taken only about 6 months earlier. Ashley sunk down on the sofa in front of that photo and just stared up at her happy smiling family. She felt a small smile break out on her lips, _we will get through this, I know we will because not doing so it not an option_, Ashley thought to herself.

Ashley woke on the sofa to the insistent poking of her five year old son. She opened her eyes and looked down at the blonde haired little boy and smiled. She sat up and pulled him onto her lap to give him a big hug and a kiss, "Hey little man! How was school?"

Lucas started clapping excitedly, "It was good Momma, I got to play soccer at lunch time and I scored two goals! Then we did story writing after lunch and I wrote a story about Oliver and my teacher read it out to the _whole_ class and they all clapped!"

Ashley chuckled, she loved her little boy's enthusiasm, "That's wonderful Buddy, I'm so proud of you! Where's Hannah?"

"I'm here Momma," Hannah called from the doorway. She looked sad, her big blue eyes ever bluer with the tears hiding within them.

Ashley lifted Lucas off her lap and crossed the room to kneel down in front of Hannah, "What's going on Princess?" She asked with deep concern.

Hannah sighed in a very Spencer like manner and leaned against the door frame, "Nothing Momma."

Ashley cocked her head to the side with a look of disbelief, "Some how I don't quite believe you Hannah. Come on tell me what's wrong Baby Girl?"

Hannah looked down at the ground and that's when Ashley saw her little girl's tears start to fall. She gathered Hannah into her arms and told Lucas to go put his backpack away. Once he was gone she pulled back to look into Hannah's big blue eyes, "Come on now sweetheart, please tell me what's going on?"

Hannah blinked hard a few times as her lower lips trembled, "I went to see Mommy when Grandpa brought us home and she was throwing up again and she was crying Momma. I hate seeing Mommy cry." Hannah started to sob again as Ashley pulled her firmly into her arms.

"I know you do Princess, I do to. Mommy is just feeling very sick at the moment, but we are doing everything to make her better, I promise Baby Girl," Ashley said as she held her daughter close.

Out of their children, this was hardest for Hannah. She was far more aware of all that was going in on than Lucas was and had always been very in tune with her blonde mother, even as a baby. Lucas remained, thankfully, unaware of the full gravity of the situation. Ashley almost envied him that.

She held their daughter in her arms until the girl had stopped crying and then scooped her up in her arms, after a quick stop in the bathroom so Hannah could wash all the tears off her face, they headed into the master bedroom to find Spencer propped up against some pillows with Lucas sitting next to her telling her all about his day. Oliver was sitting next to Lucas whining to try and get the little boy's attention.

Ashley set Hannah down on the bed and smiled at her wife who looked a little worse for ware. She looked like she was totally spent. Her eyes were glazed over and her cheeks sunken and hollow. Her hair was dull and you could se loose strands resting on her shoulders and the bed covers. But even with all that she was still the most beautiful woman Ashley had or would ever see.

As soon as Hannah landed on the bed she crawled up to Spencer's other side and snuggled into her mother. Spencer wrapped an arm around her little look a like and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. Ashley perched on the bed near Hannah and pulled Oliver onto her lap, she felt bad for him being ignored by the kids. He was a baby after all!

They all sat on the big bed until it was time for dinner. Ashley watched as Spencer's eyes fluttered tiredly and sent the kids on ahead of them. Ashley leaned down over her exhausted wife and murmured, "Sleep Darling, just sleep." Spencer smiled sleepily and snuggled back into the pillows before succumbing to some much needed sleep.

Ashley kissed her wife gently on the forehead and wandered out to join the kids for dinner, leaving her beautiful wife to sleep.


	19. Trip Down Memory Lane

**Thank for reviewing, your kind words are what is keeping this story going.**

somthgIlike2do, LoveAsh87 – Spencer needed a little reassurance and as always Ashley was there. This is tough on them all. Thanks for the review

grangergirl22 – There have been a few tears while writing this I assure you. Thanks

Palexobsessed – I did a lot of research and it kept coming up that a lot of patients undergoing chemo feel their partners will find them unattractive. Its sad but natural. As for Hannah, as a child (hell even now as an adult) I am protected from things by my older sister. LOL go the Journey! Thanks

2bz2breading, ashikinz, bethers85, huggbuddy13 – thanks so very much, really appreciate your review

mutt009 – I want this to be as real and accurate as possible so thank you.

WillowOn3 – It's a tragic situation for anyone to be in, as awful as it is to be the person sick it is heartbreaking to be the person who has to watch, especially knowing there really isn't anything you can do. Thank you.

jareaufan – Wow thanks! Glad you got to see the rest of SoN

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Nineteen – ****Trip Down Memory Lane**

Judy helped a very fragile Spencer into the house. They were just returning from the hospital after the final chemo session in the initial stage of Spencer's treatment. She would be going back into hospital in two days for some extensive testing to determine whether or not she had gone into remission. If that was the case Spencer would almost immediately begin her second phase of treatment which would last for several months.

The treatment had more than taken its toll on the blonde. She was beyond exhausted, aching all over and constantly nauseous. Spencer felt weaker and weaker every day. It was frightening to her how this treatment was affecting her. What was supposed to make her better was robbing her of all her strength.

The impacts were tough, not just on Spencer, but on the whole family. The house had an air of sadness around it that impacted each and every member of the household. Spencer grew weaker and weaker, sicker and sicker, every day and it was hard on all of them.

Spencer was just crawling into bed with Judy at her side when she had to be taken quickly into the bathroom to empty her stomach. The nausea she was experiencing was so much worse than the hell she'd gone through during her pregnancy with Lucas. Hannah had been an easy pregnancy, no real morning sickness, she didn't gain a lot of weight and she didn't have many scary mood swings.

Her pregnancy with Lucas on the other hand was epically different.

While hunched over the toilet in her ensuite, seated on the cushions that were placed on the floor for just that purpose with Judy seated behind her, Spencer told the story of her pregnancy with little Mr. Lucas, in between bouts of vomiting.

_[Flashback]_

_Spencer looked cautiously down at the little white stick sitting on the bathroom sink. She could hear a very nervous Ashley pacing the hallway outside as she eagerly awaited the news._

_They had been trying to get pregnant for a second time for almost five months now and to say that both women were stating to lose hope was an understatement._

_Spencer swallowed nervously and glanced down at her watch, glaring at the second hand which appeared to be moving extra slowly in her over anxious mind. Now she couldn't be certain, but Spencer was sure that the space between ticks of that fucking second hand was way longer than one second._

"_Is it time yet?"Ashley nervously called from the hallway, where she had been banished after she'd asked that exact same question for the fifteenth time._

_Spencer gritted her teeth and swallowed the first sarcastic response that came to mind as she checked her watch again, "Thirty seconds to go Ash, just relax!"_

_Ashley snorted and called back, "I will if you will." Spencer glared at the closed bathroom door, knowing her wife was right on the other side. "I see you have no comeback to that, therefore I am the winner...and now it has been thirty seconds so check the fucking thing! Oh and I come back in yet?" Ashley called through the wooden door._

_Spencer rolled her eyes and swung open the door to find her wife gazing at her with an irresistible puppy-dog pout. "Come in Ash, it's time," Spencer said with a slight head shake._

"_I can't believe you sent me out into the hallway __Spencer that was just cruel, you know I was just all excited. I feel good about it this time, I think we actually got you all knocked up, you know, up the duff, preggers, with puppy and all that," Ashley rambled._

_Spencer's eyes were locked on the little white stick as a tear made it's way down her cheek, "Ashley shut the fuck up and don't ever call our unborn baby a puppy again."_

_Ashley's eyes widened, "You mean..."_

_Spencer beamed tearfully, "I mean..."_

"_Oh my God! You're pregnant! You hear that world? My wife is pregnant!" Ashley squealed before rushing over and sweeping Spencer into her arms. She spun her around a few times before settling a giggling Spencer back on the ground and dropping to her knees. Ashley rested her cheek against her wife's flat stomach and gazed up into her blue eyes with pure love._

"_We're going to have a baby, Baby!" Ashley murmured as tears started to fall from her eyes as well._

"_Yeah we are," Spencer murmured tenderly as she tangled her hands in her wife's wild curls, "we're going to have another baby!"_

_Ashley got to her feet to pull her wife into her arms before she crashed their lips together. Her hands were just starting to seek out familiar places on her wife's body when the baby monitor on the bathroom counter came to life with the sound of a tiny girl calling for her Mommy._

_Spencer stepped back out of her wife's embrace and winked, "Soon there's going to be two of them...wow Ash you are so never gonna get laid again!" Spencer chuckled as Ashley fixed her with a look of total panic and horror._

_Spencer was still laughing when she stepped into the pretty purple bedroom that housed their almost two year old daughter. The tiny blonde held up her arms to her Mommy as Spencer leaned in to pull her daughter into her arms. "Hey Hannah, how's my baby?"_

_Hannah gazed adoringly up at her mother and smiled. Spencer ran a hand over her daughter's silky blonde hair and leaned in to kiss her gently on the forehead, "Well Baby Girl, not too long from now you're going to have a little brother or sister. I kinda hope you get a brother my little princess."_

"_You know you don't really get a say in that right Spence? It's really more of a you get what you're given kinda deal," Ashley teased from the doorway._

_Spencer glanced over and stuck out her tongue at her wife, who just laughed and stepped further into the room until she could stand behind the blonde woman and wrap her up in her arms. Ashley held her family closer to her and sighed in contentment. Right there in that moment, everything was perfect._

_-Six Months Later-_

_Spencer grumbled to herself as she waddled up the stairs. Ashley was cowering in the living room with Hannah, hoping that nothing she did would further enrage the beast that was an 8 months pregnant Spencer Carlin-Davies._

_She had just been screamed at for accidentally buying Spencer a foot-long sub instead of a six inch. It didn't seem to matter that Spencer had in fact eaten the entire thing anyway, Ashley was still in the dog house.__ Plus she had forgotten the Subway cookies, an unforgivable crime in her pregnant wife's eyes._

_To say Spencer had been moody and hormonal during this pregnancy would be a gross understatement. She had become a monster. The only two people she was semi normal with was the doctor and Hannah__, and the only reason she was nice to the doctor was, and I quote, "because she has the drugs!"_

_Ashley was constantly walking around on egg shells, terrified to incur the wrath of her very unpredictable (or unstable…which Ashley once made the mistake of calling her, needless to say somebody slept on the couch that night) wife. _

_Spencer was irritable and tired, and Ashley made a convenient punching bag. In fact she was literally a punching bag one time when she went out and brought her wife a maternity dress for her to wear to a record launch. First Spencer had been offended that it was a maternity dress (in her eyes she could still fit into her own clothing...she was wrong) and secondly Spencer was angry that Ashley hadn't let her chose her own dress. It had resulted in Spencer slugging Ashley in the arm then throwing the shopping bag containing the dress at her head, before shoulder checking her smaller wife as she stormed out of the room. The worst part being the fact that Spencer did in fact end up wearing the dress, after deciding she actually liked it._

_Ashley scooped up their tiny blonde haired daughter and gave her a big hug, "Well princess I think Mommy is crazy!"_

_Hannah giggled and cooed, "Mommy crazy!" which would have been all cute and stuff had Spencer not chosen that moment to come back into the living room._

_Spencer crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at her wife, who was looking all contrite and kind of scared. "Uh...hey Spence, um whatcha doing? Um been there long?" Ashley stammered nervously._

_Spencer all but growled as she reached over to take Hannah from the brunette. Hannah grinned up at her mother, making Spencer break out in a huge smile at her little girl. A smile which quickly faded when Hannah clapped her little hands and yelled out with a beaming smile, "Mommy crazy!"_

_Spencer flashed Ashley an annoyed glare before heading up stairs with Hannah in her arms. Ashley sighed and followed along behind her girls with trepidation, she was _

_expecting a rather frosty reception from her darling wife._

_Later that night Ashley wandered into their bedroom looking like a puppy who knew they were about to get in trouble. Spencer set down her book and looked over at her wife with an expectant, "Well?"_

_Ashley cleared her throat and swallowed nervously, "Well I'm sorry that was uncalled for. You aren't crazy or unstable and I should not have said anything, especially to Hannah. I'm sorry I got her repeating 'Mommy crazy'."_

_Spencer started to scowl, "You know she said that to me about ten times while I put her to bed?"_

_Ashley bit her lip and fought the urge to laugh, an impulse she knew would pretty much guarantee she ended up divorced. Swallowing back a burst of laughter, Ashley flashed her wife an apologetic smile and said, "I'm really sorry Spence."_

_Spencer looked at her as if she was checking to make sure Ashley was the right level of sorry before she flashed her a tight smile, "ok, just don't do it again." Ashley was about to respond when Spencer clapped a hand over her mouth and bolted into their ensuite. Ashley followed along behind her and held back her hair while Spencer threw up over and over again._

_Once there was nothing left in her stomach to come up Spencer sagged against her wife's legs and sighed tiredly, "I thought morning sickness was not supposed to continue for the whole pregnancy. This is bullshit!"Spencer's morning (or all day) sickness had been persistent since about 6 weeks into the pregnancy. A fact that left the blonde rather grumpy a lot of the time._

"_I know Sweetheart, I know," Ashley cooed as she rubbed her wife's back soothingly._

_Spencer sighed again and let her wife help her to her feet. She flushed the toilet and rinsed out her mouth before letting Ashley lead her back into their bedroom. "Ash?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Sorry I was being a moody bitch earlier," Spencer murmured as she changed into her pyjamas. _

_Ashley smiled adoringly at her wife and said, "Hey it's ok, you're feeling all kinds of crap so you're allowed to be a little moody. I love you Mrs. Davies and I can take whatever you need to throw at me. Got it?"_

_Spencer grinned lovingly and moved into her wife's arms, "yeah I got it."_

_They shared a soft, tender kiss before Ashley helped her heavily pregnant wife into bed. Climbing in after her, Ashley wrapped her arms around her wife and held her close. She placed a hand over the swell of Spencer's belly and gently stroked the soft skin, laughing in delight when she felt their baby move under her hands._

_Spencer smiled lovingly and covered Ashley's hand with her own. She adored the child-like wonder Ashley showed every time the baby moved, it had been the same with Hannah._

_Ashley leaned over and kissed her wife gently on the cheek before whispering, "I know this is stupid, but it still amazes me that there is a baby growing inside of you. It's the most incredible thing ever. God I am so happy Spencer."_

_Spencer giggled, "even though I bitched you out over Subway earlier?"_

_Ashley chuckled, "Yes even after that."_

_They fell asleep wrapped in each others arms, both with a hand resting over the bump housing their child._

_[End Flashback]_

"Well that sounds like a big bag of fun," Judy said with a laugh as she settled Spencer back into her bed.

Spencer chuckled wearily and nodded, "Oh yeah it was great!"

"Well at least the outcome was worth all the drama," Judy said with a grin, "Gale was the one to have our children, and wow did I feel for her. I offered to have one instead, but she insisted that she do it. Gale always dreamed of being pregnant. What about Ashley did she never think of carrying the children?"

Spencer bit her lip and looked sad. Judy instantly picked up on her mood change, "I'm sorry Spencer that was too personal. I should not have asked that."

Spencer smiled reassuringly, "no it's ok, its just not something we talk about much. Ashley had a miscarriage when she was in high school. What we didn't know until we were planning to have children of our own, was that a lot of damage was done back then. It is practically impossible for Ashley to carry a baby. I was also set on being pregnant at least once. I wouldn't trade the family I have for anything."

Judy beamed and squeezed the younger blonde's hand, "I know the feeling."

They shared a look of infinite understanding. Spencer hoped that one day she and Ashley would get to have what Judy and her wife, Gale, had. A lifetime of memories and a world of unending love.


	20. Step Forward, Step Back

**Thank you to all who reviewed and read this.**

ilovemyself26, hugbuddy13, LoveAsh87 – Thanks so much

Palexobsessed – Thanks! I felt like the fic needed a little breather from the drama that I have been subjecting you all to.

mutt009 – Yeah Spencer preggers is a scary thing lol

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty – Step Forward, Step Back**

Ashley held Spencer's hand tightly in her own. They were sitting in Dr. Gratis' office waiting for her to come back with the results of Spencer's most recent battery of tests. These results would tell them what the next course of action would be in the fight against this cancer.

Spencer was nervous, so nervous her knee was bouncing up and down erratically, her foot tapping hard against the chair leg. It was making Ashley even more anxious. They both knew that if Spencer had not gone into remission during the first lot of treatment, then there was not a great deal more the doctor could do.

Spencer took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself. She pulled the baggy beanie on her head down tighter over her thinning blonde hair. She felt wretched, she hadn't been able to keep any food down for three days, she was tired, lethargic and just plain terrified. She knew all about the side effects of the treatment, but it was hard to accept the fact that the treatment that would hopefully save her life was making her feel more shit than the disease had been.

Ashley reached over and laid a hand on Spencer's bouncing knee. Spencer smiled apologetically and murmured, "Sorry Love."

Ashley squeezed the knee under her hand and said, "Its ok Spence, I know it's practically impossible but you need to try and relax," on Spencer's disbelieving look Ashley added, "I said _try._"

Spencer let out a dry chuckle and shook her head, "Ok I'll try. I just wish they'd come back in so we can get this over with, it's the not knowing and all the waiting that is driving me crazy!"

"Don't you mean crazier?" Ashley teased. Spencer rolled her eyes and swatted her wife on the arm.

"Be nice!" Spencer scolded with a grin breaking through her mocking glare.

Ashley smirked, "Me? I'm always nice!" Spencer laughed and rolled her eyes before resting her head on her wife's shoulder. Ashley circled her arm around her wife's thin shoulders and pulled her close, glad that for a brief moment she had gotten her wife to laugh and joke around. Something that had become rarer and rarer since she had been diagnosed with leukaemia.

They were sitting there when Judy came in and gave them a warm smile, "Dr. Gratis is just having a look through the results and will be in soon. I had a talk to her about your nausea Spencer, if you haven't been able to keep food down by tonight you might have to come into hospital for a while so we can give you nutrients intravenously. We can't have you missing out on nutrients, your body needs all the help it can get to fight this."

Ashley nodded while Spencer looked at her in horror, "But I don't want to go into hospital, I want to be at home!"

Judy moved closer and took Spencer's free hand, "I know dear, I know and trust me as long as we can keep you at home we will, but we have to think about what's going to be best for you and that might mean some time in hospital."

Spencer sighed and snuggled in closer to her wife. The thought of coming into hospital, being away from her wife and kids, was not one she was particularly keen on.

Before Spencer could dwell on it for too long the door opened and Dr. Gratis came in. Her expression was unreadable, which scared both Spencer and Ashley. They were almost jumping out of their skins with anticipation over the news the doctor was about to deliver.

Dr. Gratis moved behind her desk and took a seat. She smiled at both women and said, "I'm sorry to have kept you both waiting, I know you must be anxious to find out the test results."

"Anxious is an understatement doc," Ashley replied with a sad smile.

Dr. Gratis nodded, "Well I won't make you wait any longer." Both Spencer and Ashley unconsciously leaned forward, eager to get the news whether it was good or bad. "Well according to the various blood tests and the bone marrow sample we took it appears that you have gone into remission Spencer."

Ashley's face broke out into a beaming smile. She turned to face her wife and found Spencer sitting statue still, shock having settled over her. Ashley squeezed her wife's hand and said, "Sweetheart, did you hear the doctor? You're in remission!"

Spencer shook her head and turned to face her wife. Her eyes searched Ashley's, looking for truth and reassurances she would not find anywhere else. Clearly finding what she needed Spencer burst into tears. Ashley wrapped her arms tightly around the fragile blonde and pulled her close.

Spencer cried for a good minute before she pulled her tear-stained face out of the crook of Ashley's neck and asked, "I'm really in remission?"

Dr. Gratis smiled and nodded, "Yes you are. It's a good thing because now we can start the next phase of treatment, which I'm sorry to say will involve more chemo therapy for you."

Spencer nodded and lay her head back down on Ashley's shoulder, feeling so tired. It had been a bloody long few months.

Ashley held her wife close and smiled sadly at the doctor, "ok can you explain again what the second phase of treatment is going to entail?"

Dr. Gratis nodded, "Of course. Well the next phase of treatment will last for a bit longer than the first, for about four months I'm predicting. The drugs are pretty much the same, but I will be adding a new one to the mix. The doses are not quite as high, but it will still be an intensive treatment schedule. We will begin in about a week, we want to give your body time to build up a little first, especially in light of the fact you are having trouble keeping food down. I know this is a lot to take in, if you have any questions ask away or call me anytime. Judy here is also going to be able to answer a lot of your questions."

Dr. Gratis got up from her chair and walked around the desk. She put her hand over Ashley and Spencer's intertwined hands and said, "Spencer you are doing really well and there is a good chance that this treatment is going to work. This cancer is beatable and we are doing everything we can to give you the best chance at living a long and very happy life with your wife and children."

Dr. Gratis was caught a little off guard when the blonde woman threw herself into her arms. She recovered quickly though and pulled Spencer into a warm hug. Ashley blinked back tears and noticed Judy doing the same as Spencer hugged the small grey haired doctor.

It took Ashley a little while before she was able to detangle her wife from the doctor and take her home. On the way back to their place they stopped off at Spencer's parent's place to pick up the kids. Ashley helped her wife from the car and they walked hand in hand up to the front door.

As Ashley knocked Spencer giggled earning her a questioning look from her wife. "Sorry I was just thinking about all the times I snuck you in or out of this door when we were a pair of horny teenagers, knocking was not common practice back then," Spencer explained.

Ashley laughed and then blushed when Paula opened the door and asked them what they were giggling about. Neither answered.

They were both hugged and then led inside where they were once again hugged by Arthur and the kids, all of whom were very happy to see the two women. Once Ashley and Spencer had been hugged within an inch of their lives Arthur insisted that they stay for dinner as Chelsea and Glen were coming with their kids. Ashley tried to politely decline, seeing how exhausted her wife was, but Spencer quickly told her father they'd love to stay.

Ashley frowned her disapproval, which Spencer ignored. She was tired and felt really ill but she knew it meant a lot to her family to have her there. Since she'd gotten sick she hadn't seen the family all that much.

She sat on the sofa in the living room and listened to her kids tell her all about their days. Lucas crawled onto her lap and gazed up at her adoringly as he spoke, every now and then reaching up to stroke her cheek. Hannah snuggled up to her side and smiled widely every time Spencer laughed at something Lucas said. Ashley stood in the doorway watching her family. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and turned around to find her mother-in-law standing behind her also watching Spencer and the kids interact.

"She's such a good mother, I know for a fact she is feeling really unwell today but you wouldn't know it. She would do anything for our kids," Ashley murmured as she watched over her family.

Paula squeezed her shoulder and smiled fondly with a tinge of sadness, "Yes she is incredible. How did it go at the doctor's today?"

"Good, she's entered remission and in a week they are going to start phase two of her treatment. Dr. Gratis seemed cautious but hopeful. Spencer was a little stunned but relieved," Ashley explained, still watching her family.

"Well that's great Ash, I have been so worried all day. Dr. Gratis is an amazing doctor so I know Spencer's treatment is in the best possible hands, but it's still terrifying," Paula said softly as Ashley nodded in agreement, "So Ash, how are you holding up?"

Ashley sighed and ran her hand through her messy curls, "I'm ok Paula, tired though. Spencer hasn't been sleeping much at night, she's been throwing up a lot, and so I've been staying up with her. She's just become so weak and it kills me that I can't protect her from all of this. I would give everything I have if I could make her better." Ashley swallowed against the lump in her throat. Paula stepped closer and wrapped her arm around her daughter-in-law.

It was amazing to the Carlin matriarch that she had once thought Ashley wasn't good enough for her little girl. The woman snuggled up to her side was incredible. She was kind, compassionate, loving, funny, sweet, protective and would truly do anything for the people she loved. Paula knew that she had grossly misjudged the younger woman back in the day and now knew that Spencer could never have been whole with anyone besides Ashley.

Paula was about to say as much to her daughter-in-law when the front door was thrown open and in ran her other grandkids with Glen and Chelsea behind them. "Clay, Tahlia, slow down!" Chelsea called out in an exasperated tone.

The kids ignored her and barrelled into the living room to pounce on their cousins and Aunty Spencer. Ashley watched as Spencer visibly winced as they landed on her, but she fixed a smile on her face and welcomed her niece and nephew with kisses and hugs.

"Will you two be careful of your Aunty Spencer! She's not feeling well!" Glen admonished as he walked into the living room and dragged his overexcited offspring off his little sister.

"It's ok Glen, they're just happy to see me which is kinda nice," Spencer said with a weak smile, exhaustion evident in her big blue eyes. Glen sat beside her on the sofa and pulled her into a gentle hug. Spencer sagged against her big brother and sighed tiredly.

"Ok troops, dinner!" Arthur called from the kitchen. All the kids scrambled up and ran into the dinning room to take their seats at the big table. It was a new one, much bigger than the table that had originally been in the Carlin home when the moved to L.A. Paula said it had to be big to accommodate the ever expanding family.

Ashley helped Spencer up off the sofa and led her into the dinning room. She pulled out her wife's chair and helped her sit before taking a seat beside the blonde. This earned Glen a slap on the arm from his wife for being 'an ungentlemanly, crappy husband.' This is turn earned Ashley a glare from Glen for the fact she had shown him up...again.

Once everyone was seated and Paula had made them all say grace they dug into the delicious feast Arthur had whipped up. If anybody noticed Spencer was hardly eating, they didn't mention it.

Spencer began to feel increasingly unwell, to a point where she could hardly sit up right she felt so bad. About halfway into the meal Spencer interrupted the conversation, "If you guys will excuse me for a second, I'm just going to step out for a moment." Ashley went to get up to help her only to be gently pushed back into her seat with a loving smile from her wife, "its ok Love, I won't be long."

Spencer rose shakily to her feet, took two steps from the table and then everything went black and she collapsed to the floor.


	21. Believe In Me

**Thank you reviewers!**

LoveAsh87, somthgIlike2do, ilovemyself26, nightwish fan, buff802y - Yeah sorry for the cliffhanger, my bad. I'm also sorry that I gave good news and then had Spencer collapse. I am mean.

freakanatomy – Sorry! Here is what happened…

mutt009 – You're spot on about why Spencer collapsed and about the reactions. Sorry for the tears!

WillowOn3 – Good call on why she collapsed…please put down the baseball…pretty please! I like their banter too, I promise there will be more of it!

bethers85 – Thanks, see I posted fairly quickly so you guys didn't have to wait too long!

jareaufan – Yeah I'll admit the cliffhanger was mean, and thanks I hope you like the rest of the story!

ebonyedlove – thanks! Glad you liked it!

**Usual Disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-One ****– Believe In Me**

Her world was spinning, there were screams, cries, blinding lights, numbing blackness and an aching that started in her head and spread down over her body. Spencer lay on the floor where she had collapsed as chaos erupted around her. She was unable to move or speak as she fell in to blackness.

As soon as Spence had started to sink to the floor, Ashley was on her feet and sprinting over, reaching her wife just in time to stop her head hitting the hard wood floor. All the children then started to scream blue murder, Hannah and Lucas the loudest. Their cries could be heard by neighbours at the other end of the street who seriously worried that someone was murdering children in the Carlin home.

Chelsea very quickly got to her feet to usher the distressed children from the room, Hannah and Lucas having to be picked up and carried out literally kicking and screaming as the stared at their Mommy's still form and cried for her to wake up.

Paula had reacted almost as fast as Ashley, she yelled at Arthur to call an ambulance and moved to her daughter's side. Paula began examining Spencer as best she could, the process being more difficult given the way she was trembling.

Arthur rushed to the phone and spoke in desperate, frightened tones as he begged them to hurry. Glen stood still in shock, tears making their way from his blue eyes, before fleeing the room to help Chelsea with the four almost hysterical children.

Hannah was going crazy. She was screaming and hitting at her Aunt and Uncle while they tried to stop her getting back to her Mommy. All she could think was that she had to get to her Mommy.

Lucas had curled up in a ball on the floor and was sobbing while rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb which he hadn't done since he was a toddler. Clay and Tahlia were crying quietly as they watched their Mommy and Daddy try and hold onto their cousin who was quickly turning a beet red as she struggled against them.

Back in the dinning room Paula knelt over her daughter and tried to stay as calm as possible when everything in her was telling her to react the exact same way her young granddaughter was. She wanted to scream and cry and beg Spencer to wake up.

She looked up at Ashley who was clutching her wife's hand and leaning over so she could speak softly into her ear. Ashley's tears were running in torrents down her face and landing on her wife's pale, still cheek as she struggled to control her own impulse to scream and lose complete control. She wanted to shake Spencer's shoulders and yell at her to wake up.

Arthur stood stunned behind the women watching his wife work on their little girl. He closed his eyes and sent up a little prayer that his daughter made it through this. He knew this family could not survive a hit like losing Spencer. Losing Clay had been hard enough. He looked over at the brunette holding firm to his daughter and nearly cried at the broken look in her expressive eyes.

He had seen Ashley Davies display a countless number of emotions, she never had been very good at hiding them from him, or anyone that really knew her, but he had never seen her look so broken and defeated. She looked about ready to succumb to the darkness that was snapping at her heals.

He moved to the young woman's side and wrapped and arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Ashley sagged against him and started to sob. All the fear and pain she was feeling came out of her in violent cries that quickly soaked her father-in-law's shirt. Arthur and Paula met each other's eyes over the brunette's head, both of them fighting their own tears.

"The Ambulance is here!" Glen called from the living room where he was still restraining Hannah who was fighting him with all her strength. Her screams had quietened now as her throat became raw. Her tears were falling silently as she punched, shoved and struggled in her Uncle's arms.

Chelsea ran to the door to let the paramedics in and led them quickly to the dinning room. Paula stepped back and began rattling off medical facts and vital information to the paramedics, while Arthur dragged a reluctant Ashley out of the way. She clung to him desperately, her hands clutching his collar into tight fists, and sobbed harder as the paramedics spoke in hushed whispers of things she didn't understand but still found terrifying.

After a few minutes the paramedics turned to Paula and said softly, "We need to get her to hospital now." Paula nodded and her tears began falling again. She stepped next to her husband and daughter-in-law and let herself be pulled into their forlorn little group hug.

The paramedics began loading Spencer onto the gurney and then turned to the three crying adults, "Will one of you be coming with us?"

Arthur and Paula looked at Ashley who glanced over to the living room where she could still hear the cries of the children. Catching her torn look Arthur said softly, "Go with Spencer Ash, I'll stay with the kids and calm them down. You won't be any good to them until you know what is going on with Spencer. Please go and be with my little girl."

Ashley nodded and followed the paramedics out of the house. They loaded Spencer into the back and helped Ashley in after her before taking off towards the hospital at a frightening speed.

Ashley spent the whole ride to the hospital watching the paramedic working on her terrifyingly still wife. She was praying to her mother-in-law's God that her wife would be alright. She could not imagine the rest of her life without the blue eyes blonde by her side. That was a world she was not interested in living in.

After they arrived at the hospital everything started moving in fast forward. Spencer was raced into the belly of the hospital while a nurse led a hysterical Ashley to the waiting room while she insisted that she had to go after her wife. Glen and Paula arrived just in time to hear Ashley throw a slew of curse words at the nurse that made all the blood rush from her face.

Paula reached out to Ashley and pulled her into her arms, "Ash it's going to be ok, it is. Now come and sit with Glen while I go and find out what is going on with our girl."

Ashley reluctantly settled in the hard plastic waiting room chairs with her brother-in-law and stared down at her violently trembling hands. She hated this feeling of loss of control. She hated feeling so helpless. Ashley had effortlessly stepped into the role of protector and it was killing her that she could not protect her family from this.

She watched as Glen covered her shaking hands with his own. She looked up into his big blue eyes that were so like her wife's and then she broke down again. She sobbed violently, her entire frame convulsing with the ferocity of her cries.

Glen pulled her into his arms and held her close. He had never seen Ashley like this. She always put on a brave, strong front. So much so that it was easy to forget how vulnerable she really was underneath the bravado. He felt his own tears falling as he held the breaking woman.

He knew that if they were to lose Spencer they would lose Ashley too. They did not exist without each other. He also knew that if Spencer died his entire world would be irrevocably changed. She was fundamental to the lives of the people he loved, she was fundamental to him.

They stood in there in the waiting room in each others arms for what felt like hours, in reality it was about fifteen minutes. Ashley had her face buried in his chest as sobs tore through her body. She was so scared.

They heard the sound of footsteps behind them and turned to find Judy and Paula approaching them. Ashley pulled away from Glen and stepped towards the two women. Their expressions were unreadable and it was clear that Paula had been crying.

"What's going on? How is she?" Ashley choked out. She felt Glen step up beside her and place a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Paul swallowed thickly and moved to take Ashley's hand in hers, before nodding to Judy to tell her she should explain.

Judy took a step closer and smiled sadly, "Ashley, Spencer is stable right now but has been slipping in and out of consciousness. She is weak, so very weak and her body is not coping with the strain the treatment has put her under. Dr. Gratis wants to keep her in hospital for a while. We need to get her on an IV and start building her strength so she can endure the next round of treatment. The problem is we don't know if she is going to be strong enough to cope with the chemo. I promise you we are doing everything we can."

Ashley stared at the nurse for a moment and then her legs gave way. She sunk to the ground in a limp heap. She couldn't cry, she couldn't speak, she could hardly breathe. She was in total shock. She whispered softly, "But she's in remission, she's better."

Paula knelt down beside her daughter in law and pulled her into her arms. Ashley did not move or react in anyway to the older blonde's embrace. "Ashley her body has been fighting this disease so hard and now, even though the cancer is in remission, her body is struggling." Paula murmured as fresh tears filled her eyes. Ashley had been so strong for so long and it seemed like this blow was just one too many.

"Ash, do you want to come and see Spencer now? You can sit with her for as long as you like," Paula asked softly.

The brunette turned her head slightly and looked up into Paula's eyes. Her usually bright, expressive brown eyes were dull and emotionless. She looked absolutely numb. She nodded slowly and let Glen help her to her feet. They were about to walk towards the doors that would lead them to Spencer when Ashley stopped and turned to face her mother in law.

"Paula I'm so sorry. I promised you I'd protect her and look after her, I've let you down," Ashley husked out.

Paula reached forward and yanked Ashley into her arms, "Don't you dare say that! You cannot protect her from this, this is not your fault! Don't for one second think that this is your fault Ashley, don't you dare!"

Ashley nodded numbly, not really absorbing a word that was said to her. Paula sighed and began leading the brunette down the hall to the room that housed their girl. She pushed the door open quietly and stepped back to allow Ashley to walk in first.

Ashley sucked in a harsh gasp of air at the sight of her wife hooked up to a multitude of machines that all beep and buzzed while they monitored the unconscious woman. She also had several bags hanging beside her, feeding various lifesaving liquids into her arm. Ashley felt like she was standing outside of her body watching herself walk slowly towards the bed that held her delicate and fragile wife.

Spencer looked so tiny on the bed, so sunken and skeletal. Her once tanned skin was devoid of colour and was now an ashen grey, while her once lustrous, rich golden hair was thin and sparsely covering her head, visible now that her baggy beanie was gone. Ashley swallowed hard around the huge lump in her throat and reached out to take hold of the pale, slender hand resting on the bed covers.

The familiar smooth skin was warm, too warm. Ashley sunk into the chair beside the bed and gazed down at the woman she had spent almost half her life with and felt lost. She didn't know what to do to make this better. She didn't know how to help her wife through this.

For the first time since Spencer got sick Ashley really started to believe that they would lose her. Even in her darkest moments Ashley had always felt a shimmer of hope that her wife would survive this illness and live a long live with her. Any other possibility just wasn't an option. She had always believed that the love they felt for each other would save her. Sitting in that hospital room with her mother and brother in law behind her and her unconscious wife in front of her, Ashley lost hope.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against the hand she clutched in her own and prayed to a God she didn't believe in to give her strength and help her find the courage and hope she was going to need to survive this, to help her family survive this.

Glen wrapped his arms around his mother as Paula sobbed brokenly. He stood still and watched the brunette woman he had once hated and now adored fall apart. Ashley's shoulders shook as she let her tears fall down onto the bed covers. Glen tightened his hold on his mother and closed his eyes against the heartbreaking sight in front of him.

Paula tried to stifle her cried without much success. She clung to her son and couldn't help but think that she was very possibly facing the horror of burying another child. Losing one child was hard enough, but she knew she couldn't survive losing another. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

Ashley felt a gentle hand in her curls and raised her watery eyes up to see the source of the touch. The sight in front of her made a tiny smile break out on her face. Beautiful blue eyes gazed at her as her wife weakly stroked her hair. Spencer smiled tiredly before dropping her hand back to the bed.

Paula and Glen stepped further into the room and smiled tearfully at Spencer as she turned her eyes to look at them. Paula wiped away her tears and said softly, "I'll go get the doctor, Glen come with me."

Glen followed his mother out the door and left the couple behind. Ashley fixed Spencer with a look of so much fear and heart ache that Spencer felt her own heart breaking. Spencer took a deep breath and whispered, "Please don't stop believing in me my Love, have faith in me Ash because I am not leaving you and our family willingly. Believe in me Ashley."

Ashley burst into wracking sobs and rested her head on her wife's stomach. Spencer ran her hands through her wife's silky curls hoping her touch could sooth the brunette. They sat like that until the doctor walked in with Paula and Glen. Ashley sat up and wiped at the tears on her face.

She looked down at her wife and smiled tenderly before leaning in to kiss her forehead, her lips lingering against the soft skin. She moved back a little so she could look into the blue eyes that had had her hypnotised since day one and whispered, "I will always believe in you. I love you Spencer."

Spencer smiled tiredly and whispered back, "I love you too." Spencer's eyes began to flutter and she drifted off to sleep, just sleep not unconsciousness. Ashley retook her seat and sat silently clutching her wife's hand as Dr. Gratis checked her over.

Once she was sure her patient was stable and sleeping peacefully, the doctor slipped out with Paula and Glen following behind her, leaving the two women alone.


	22. Where's Mommy?

**Thank you to all who read and reviewed.**

somthgIlike2do – Wow thank you so much. That means a lot.

Wheezer – Thanks. I promise to work on a few chapters that won't be so much of a tear-jerker, although with the story theme its likely there will be more tears.

– Thank you, I'll take the tears as a compliment

freakanatomy, bethers85 – Thank you!

WillowOn3 – Aw thank you! I want this to be as realistic as possible. Ok just so long as I get fair warning before you throw anything at me, that's all I ask

hugbuddy13, LoveAsh87 – Thank you, this was written to be a sad story

buff802y – Thank you, yeah still a long way to go. I know even as I write it my heart breaks for them

jareaufan – Sorry it made you cry, but it is meant to be pretty heart wrenching

mutt009 – Tears = compliment in my book so thanks! Spencer is a hell of a fighter!

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine, Hannah and Lucas are though**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Two – ****Where's Mommy?**

Spencer woke up to find Ashley sleeping slumped over in the chair next to her hospital bed. The brunette looked so uncomfortable in the awkward position she had fallen into in her slumber. Spencer smiled sadly at her wife, who had not left her side in two days, except for when she went to check on the kids who were both still pretty shaken up.

They had decided that it was best for them not to come and see Spencer right away, she was just too weak and didn't want them to see her hooked up to all the machines and stuff. The poor children had been traumatised enough already, Spencer did not want them to be exposed to any more things that would scare them.

Spencer had spoken to them on the phone though, about five times in two days. The phone calls were filled with tears and the children begging her to come home. Each plea shattered Spencer's heart a little. She hated knowing her children were suffering and she hated even more that she was the cause of their distress. She just wanted to be with them. She wanted to be there to hold them, dry their tears and sooth their distress. She felt like a failure of a mother for not being with them while they were hurting so badly.

Hannah and Lucas were staying with Paula and Arthur who were having a hard time keeping them settled. They were both having nightmares and often crying for their Mommy. It was heartbreaking for all who witnessed it and was more than taking its toll on the whole extended family.

The day after Spencer had been rushed to hospital Ashley went to her in laws to see the children. The sight of two pairs of watery blue eyes and tear stained cheeks was enough to make the brunette want to curl up and cry until she had no tears left. Instead she had fallen to the floor and gathered her little ones in her arms.

Hannah and Lucas had clung to her like she was the only thing keeping them from drowning. Paula and Arthur looked on, both fighting their own tears, as the threesome held tightly to each other lost in a sea of tears.

Once the tears had subsided somewhat Ashley led her two little ones out to the back yard and sat down with them. She looked over at Oliver who was sleeping in the sun. He barely raised his head to see who had come outside before slumping back down. He was miserable without Spencer too.

Ashley smiled at her kids. Hannah was still sniffling frequently while Lucas kept rubbing his eyes with his little fists. Ashley kept an arm around each of them and held them close.

"Where's Mommy?" Lucas asked in a tear-filled voice.

"She's in the hospital little man where the doctors are trying to make her better," Ashley murmured as she kissed the top of his messy blonde curls. Lucas stuck his thumb into his mouth and buried himself into her side.

Hannah frowned at her brunette mother, she didn't believe that the doctors were going to make her Mommy better at all.

Before Ashley could question Hannah on her angry frown Lucas cried out, "I wanna see Mommy!"

Ashley sighed and held him closer, "I know you do little buddy, I know you do. Right now though Mommy needs her rest to get better. Once she's feeling a bit better we'll go in and see her ok?"

Lucas frowned and glared down at the ground, "I wanna see her now!"

"Lucas you can't see Mommy yet, she is too sick. I promise as soon as the doctors make her better I'll take you to see her," She murmured, trying to placate her son while Hannah looked on with a deep frown on her face.

Ashley looked down at the little blonde girl who was an absolute reflection of her wife and forced a smile onto her face. Hannah's frown deepened and she pulled away from her Momma.

With her little arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face, Hannah had adopted a pose Ashley had seen on Spencer numerous times after she'd pissed her off. That alone brought a tiny genuine smile to her face at the similarities between her wife and daughter.

"What's wrong Hannah?" Ashley murmured in concern. Their oldest child was clearly pretty angry about something and Ashley had a feeling the person Hannah was angry at was her.

"You're lying," Hannah snapped, her eyebrows coming together as her scowl deepened.

Ashley looked at her daughter confused, "No I'm not Princess, why do you think Momma is lying?"

"Because Mommy isn't going to get better! You said the doctors were gonna make her better and they're not! Mommy is going to get sicker and then she's gonna go to heaven and I won't see her anymore! You're a liar!" Hannah screamed as tears poured from her frightened blue eyes.

After hearing all of that Lucas burst into violent sobs jumped out of Ashley's arms and bolted towards the house, being caught by Arthur who was just stepping outside to see what all the yelling was about. He lifted the distraught little boy into his arms and cradled him against his chest as Lucas trembled violently.

Ashley was sitting dumbfounded looking at her devastated children. She slid from her seat and pulled Hannah into her arms. Hannah crumbled as soon as her mother's arms embraced her and went limp as she sobbed loudly.

Ashley watched as Arthur took Lucas inside to giver her and Hannah some time alone. She pulled the blonde haired little girl onto her lap as she sat on the rough concrete near the Carlin's barbeque.

She ran her fingers through the baby fine blonde hair and looked down into terrified blue eyes. She planted a gentle kiss on a damp cheek before speaking, "Hannah I don't know that Mommy is going to be ok. She is very, very sick and that makes me scared and sad too. I love you and your brother so much and I just want to protect you both from all of this."

Hannah took a few deep, shuddering breaths, hiccupping a few times as her sobs settled down into a steady stream of tears. She whimpered a little and buried her face in the crook of her mother's neck.

"Hannah, we are doing everything we can to make Mommy better, Mommy is fighting hard every day to get better. She doesn't want to leave us," Ashley whispered huskily, her own eyes filled with tears.

Hannah nodded tiredly against her mother's neck, all the tears were making her sleepy. Ashley stood up, with Hannah in her arms, and walked inside.

She found Arthur sitting with Lucas on the sofa in the living room. Lucas was still crying and looking like a beaten puppy. It broke Ashley's heart. She carried Hannah over to the sofa and took a seat beside Lucas. Arthur gave all three of them a kiss on their foreheads and excused himself.

Ashley wrapped an arm around Lucas and pulled him into her side while Hannah settled on her lap still whimpering every now and then.

Ashley sighed and held them close. She didn't know what to do to make this ok for them. How cold she reassure her children when she herself needed reassurance? She had no idea what words to say to make them feel alright. There were no words in the English language that could make this ok.

Lucas turned his face up to look into his mother's tired, sad brown eyes. He pouted a very Carlin pout and asked miserably, "Is Mommy going to go to heaven?"

Ashley leaned in and kissed his rumpled blonde curls, "One day we all go to heaven little man. When God is ready for us he takes us up to heaven to live in paradise with him and all the people we love who have gone before us." Ashley paused and looked up to find Paula leaning in the doorway watching them. Ashley flashed her a brief, broken smile before continuing, "Mommy is very sick, the cancer in her body has made her very weak and that's why she's in hospital. The doctors are doing everything they can to help her get better."

Lucas' lower lip stuck out further in his pout, "But is she going to go to heaven soon?"

Hannah hiccupped a little sob and snuggled deeper into Ashley's arms. Ashley looked down at her kids and murmured, "We don't know Lukie, like I said Mommy is very sick. Mommy is a fighter and she is going to do everything she can to stay with us. She loves you both so much and she won't leave us unless she has too."

Lucas nodded and stuck his thumb back in his mouth, his little forehead all wrinkled with confusion and distress. Ashley understood that much of this was not going to sink in with him, he was too little to properly comprehend something of this magnitude. Hell she was an adult and she was having trouble comprehending this.

Ashley held her kids tight and looked up to meet her mother in laws gaze again. Paula had tears in her eyes, but still managed a small smile for the young brunette. Ashley returned the smile and looked back at her kids, kissing them each lovingly before she started singing in a soft, soothing voice,

"For you there'll be no crying  
For you the sun will be shining  
Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds keep singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you, I love you, I love you  
Like never before

To you, I would give the world  
To you, I'd never be cold  
Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds keep singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you, I love you, I love you  
Like never before

Like never before; like never before."

As she softly sung the last note Ashley looked down and found both children sleeping soundly. The emotional turmoil they'd been experiencing making them exhausted. She gently kissed them both on the forehead and nodded over at Paula who stepped into the room and carefully lifted Lucas off the sofa.

Ashley stood with Hannah in her arms and followed Paula up stairs so they could put the children to bed. The only way they had been able to get the children to sleep at all was by letting them share a bed. Lucas took comfort in Hannah and Hannah took comfort in looking after her little brother.

They walked into Spencer's childhood bedroom and gently tucked the sleeping children into Spencer's old queen sized bed. Paula and Ashley kissed each of the children and stole quietly out of the room, leaving the door ajar so they could hear if the children woke up or had another nightmare.

Paula wrapped an arm around the younger woman and led her into the kitchen so she could pour them both a much needed coffee. They sat down at the table and silence filled the room. Paula watched her daughter in law closely, seeing the desperation and fear in her expressive brown eyes.

"I'm working at the hospital tonight so I'm going to go and see Spencer then," Paula said softly.

Ashley nodded and brought her coffee cup to her lips so she could take a sip. She was feeling more than drained after the scene that had unfolded with her children. She had expected it to be hard, but she had not anticipated it to be so bad.

Paula reached over and placed a comforting hand over Ashley's, "You are doing the best you can Ash, there is no way you can protect them from this. There is no guidebook or right way to handle a situation like this. All you can do is your best. And for what its worth I think you are handling this all admirably."

"Yeah?" Ashley asked quietly.

Paula smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

They talked for a little bit longer and then Ashley headed back to the hospital, of course stopping to kiss both her children good bye. Spencer was due to see the doctor in an hour and Ashley wanted to be there for that.

She drove back to the hospital and parked the car. She rested her head on the steering wheel and breathed deeply a few times, muttering, "You can do this, she needs you, they need you." Ashley took one more deep breath and climbed from her car.

**Song used in this chapter:**

**Songbird by Eva Cassidy**


	23. Visting Time

**Thank you to all who read and/or review**

norar, bethers85 - Thank you so much!

LoveAsh87, hugbuddy13, mutt009 – Yeah its all pretty sad right now

WillowOn3 – Depressing but well written, I'll take that. I want there to be a lot of truth in this story so it means a lot to know it is reflective of other people's experiences. Great all I ask is warning before the baseball comes fro my face

.alex – Aw thank you! That means a lot

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Three – ****Visiting Time**

It had been a week and a half since Spencer had been admitted to hospital and she was going stir crazy. She hated hospitals and hated being away from her family. She was feeling slightly better, they had been giving her nutrients intravenously and were working to build up her body and now she was about to start the second round of chemo therapy.

Spencer, with the help of Judy who was still working with her but in the hospital, got dressed and wrapped a scarf around her now bald head. A few days prior she had made the decision to shave off the remaining blonde hair, knowing full well the second lot of chemo would make what was left of it fall out anyway.

Ashley had reluctantly wielded the clippers, both of them crying silently as the long strands of silk blonde hair fell to the floor.

Today was the first time Spencer was going to see her children since the night she collapsed at her parent's house and had been taken to hospital. She had spoken to them frequently on the phone but wanted to wait until she was a little less weak to see them face to face.

Judy helped Spencer back into bed and adjusted the bed and pillows to make sure her patient was propped up comfortably. Spencer fidgeted with her hands in her lap, nervous to see the children. She was scared that seeing them would make her break down, or that them seeing her would be too hard for them.

Her physical appearance was vastly different from when they'd last seen her. Her skin was now grey, all colour she'd once had was drained away. Her hair was gone and her body was thinner than it had ever been. She was positively skeletal. Her bones poked sharply from her skin that was translucent and stretched over her now very prominent veins.

Judy patted the younger woman on the knee and said softly, "It's going to be ok Spencer, they love you and miss you. Once you see them you'll know it's going to be ok."

Spencer smiled sadly, not entirely believing her. She had this sinking feeling in her stomach that things were _not_ going to be ok. Judy adjusted the pillows a little more and then left to give Spencer some time before her family arrived.

Ashley held tightly to her children as she led them along the too bright hallways of the hospital. Lucas had a backpack full of drawings he had done to give to Spencer and Hannah had written her a story about Oliver the puppy, including photos taken since Spencer had been in hospital.

Both kids were nervously excited to see their blonde mother. Hannah was also a little scared. She kept picturing her Mommy collapsing in Grandma and Grandpa's dining room and it made her want to cry. She had never been so scared in her life.

Ashley was just as nervous as their kids. She had seen Spencer everyday and knew how sick she was, but still every time she walked into her hospital room it shocked her to see the changes in her wife. She was worried that her children were not going to cope seeing their once so full of life Mommy so sick.

As they walked down the hall, nearing Spencer's room Ashley stopped and squatted down so she was eye level with the children. She smiled at the reassuringly and said softly, "Now I know that you guys know Mommy is sick, but I want you to be ready for how she's going to look. Mommy has lost a lot of weight and her hair is gone, her medicine made it fall out. She looks very sick and is very weak so we have to be careful with her ok?"

The children both nodded solemnly with wide, frightened blue eyes that were the mirror image of their biological mother's. Both children were so obviously Spencer's children, a fact that Ashley loved so very much.

Ashley kissed each child on the forehead and straightened up. She gave each of the kid's hand a squeeze and then led them the rest of the way into the hospital room that had become Spencer's second home.

Lucas took one look at Spencer and burst into tears, turning around and burying his face in Ashley's legs. Hannah gasped loudly before dropping Ashley's hand and walking hesitantly towards the bed.

Spencer flashed her a tired, watery smile and held out a thin hand to her little girl. Hannah swallowed hard and took her mother's frail looking hand in her own. "Hello Baby Girl," Spencer whispered.

Hearing her mother's voice, the same voice that had been comforting, entertaining, scolding and loving her since she was a baby was all that Hannah needed. She carefully climbed onto the side of the bed and leaned in to hug her Mommy. Spencer sighed in contentment and held her little girl close, dropping soft kisses on the top of her baby soft hair.

Ashley, meanwhile, knelt down next to Lucas and gave him a comforting hug, "It's ok Little Man, Mommy is very sick, but she's still your Mommy and I know she has missed you very, very much. Will you come and say hello to Mommy now?"

Lucas raised terrified blue eyes to meet Ashley's and nodded. She smiled down at him and scooped him up in her arms. She walked over to the bed and smiled sadly at her wife who had Hannah snuggled up to her side. Spencer smiled adoringly at Lucas and patted the bed beside her.

"Hello Little Buddy, I've missed you so much Sweetheart," Spencer murmured.

Lucas sniffled a little and then practically launched himself out of Ashley's arms and into Spencer's. Thankfully he didn't land on her fragile body. He landed on the edge of the mattress and then crawled quickly to her side. Spencer wrapped an arm around him and kissed the tops of both the children's heads as they snuggled as close as they could get.

"Oh it is so good to see you both! Have you had fun with Grandma and Grandpa?" Spencer asked, still holding them close to her.

Ashley took a seat in the chair next to the bed and watched over her family. She would never stop being the protector.

Hannah nodded and said a soft, "yeah, but we miss being at home with you and Momma."

"Yeah! Grandpa doesn't tuck me in right and Grandma cuts my toast into rectangles not triangles! When are you coming home Mommy?" Lucas asked with the signature Carlin pout.

Spencer smiled sadly, "Probably not for a little while buddy. Mommy has to start on some more medication and I might have to stay in hospital while that happens. If I could come home I would my Darlings."

Hannah nodded and snuggled closer to her mother, "Can we visit you more while you're still in hospital, I don't like it when I don't get to see you."

Spencer kissed Hannah's forehead and said, "Of course Baby Girl, you can come and visit. I would really like that because I miss you both so much."

Ashley felt her eyes welling up as she watched the heart-breaking reunion between mother and children. This illness was robbing Spencer of so much, the most devastating being time with her children. Spencer raised tired blue eyes up to meet her wife's and smiled lovingly.

Ashley rose from her seat and perched on the edge of the narrow hospital bed and rested her hand on her wife's thigh. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, she smiled at the kids and said, "So do you two want to show Mommy the things you made for her?"

Lucas beamed and scrambled off the bed to run over to his backpack with an enthusiastic, "Yeah!"

Hannah climbed down my slowly and smiled sweetly as she reached for her own backpack.

Lucas was the first back to the bed with a handful of brightly coloured in pieces of paper. With Ashley's help he scrambled back up onto the bed and snuggled down next to his Mommy with an excited grin making his big blue eyes twinkle.

"What have you got there?" Spencer asked with a warm grin for her little boy. Hannah climbed back up and leaned against Ashley so Lucas could have their blonde mother's undivided attention while he showed off his art work.

"Well I made you some pictures. Momma said you did have any pictures in your room so I thought I'd make you some!" Lucas explained.

"Wow that's great, can I see them?" Spencer asked with excitement. She was fond of telling everyone that her son was going to be a famous artist someday.

Lucas nodded and held up the first one, which was a drawing of all four of them on the beach with a yellow blob that Spencer interpreted to be Oliver. She took the picture in her hands and beamed proudly at her little boy, "Wow Lukie, this is great! Is that Momma, Hannah, you, Oliver and Mommy?" Lucas nodded happily and Spencer reached out to stroke his blonde curls, "Well I think it's fantastic. I'll get Momma or Judy to hang it up for me later ok? Now what else have you got?"

Lucas spent the next five minutes showing Spencer all the drawings he'd done. Most contained family members and many were on the beach. The beach held a special meaning to the family and always had.

Spencer held up the last drawing, one that showed her and Lucas walking hand in hand along the sand. "Lukie this one is brilliant! I think it might even be my favourite!" Spencer winked at him and placed the picture on top of the other ones that were now sitting on her bedside table waiting to be hung up.

"You really like them Mommy?" Lucas asked with wide eyes.

"Sure do Sweetie, in fact I love them and I promise the next time you come to visit they will be hanging on the walls so I can show them off to _everyone_." Spencer ruffled his hair and smiled before turning her face over to Hannah, "What have you got there Baby Girl?"

Hannah crawled up the bed and leaned against Spencer's leg as she handed her the book she'd made. "It's a story I wrote about Oliver. I thought you'd probably be missing him so I wanted to fill you in on all he's been up to since you've been in hospital. I got Grandpa to take some photos for me and I put them in there too," Hannah explained.

Spencer beamed lovingly at her little look-a-like and kissed her finger tips so she could press the kiss to Hannah's cheek. Hannah giggled, making Spencer's grin widen. "Wow Sweetheart, that is great. I really have missed Oliver, almost as much as I missed all of you!"

"I think he misses you too Mommy, he's sad when you're not around. We all are," Hannah said softly. Spencer sighed and reached out to take her little girl's hand in her own.

"Me too Baby Girl, me too. But this story looks great, do you want to come and read it to me?" Spencer asked with a grin.

Hannah nodded and moved up to nestle herself under Spencer's arm. She rested her cheek against her mother's chest and opened the book. She read the story aloud, making sure to do all the voices in a funny way so that it made her moms and Lucas laugh.

Spencer was so moved by the effort her little ones had put into making her feel better. She was really so proud of the children she and Ashley had raised together. They were amazing children.

Once Hannah had finished the story they all started clapping and the young blonde girl blushed violently while biting her lip shyly.

Spencer leaned over and kissed the top of her ruffled blonde hair and said softly, "That was beautiful Darling, I especially liked the part about Ollie stealing Grandpa's slipper. I bet Grandpa wasn't too happy!"

Hannah giggled and shook her head, "Nope not really. He got really angry and then Ollie looked all guilty and, well you know Grandpa is a big softy, so he let Ollie keep the slipper and just brought a new pair."

Spencer smiled fondly, that sounded like her father. He was the ultimate push over and always had been. As kids her and her brothers never minded getting in trouble from their Dad, but as soon as Paula came home or Arthur did the whole, 'just you wait until your mother gets home' shtick then it was time to panic and start thinking of a good excuse. Paula was always the scary one.

The children and Ashley stayed for a little bit longer, with the kids filling Spencer in on how school was going and the birthday party they had gone to the day before. Ashley started to notice Spencer's eye lids drooping and figured it was time to take the children home to their grandparents to let her wife get some rest.

"Ok kids it's time to say goodbye to Mommy, we need to let her rest," Ashley said, earning protests from the children and a grateful but sad look from her wife. She knew Spencer didn't want the kids to leave, but she also knew her wife was moments away from falling asleep.

"It's ok you two, now give Mommy a kiss and you can come and visit again soon alright?" Spencer said wearily.

Hannah and Lucas both kissed her gently on the cheek before climbing down off the high hospital bed. Ashley leaned in and kissed her wife adoringly on the lips, "I'll be back later my love."

"Ok I'll see you. Love you," Spencer murmured.

"Love you too," Ashley whispered.

"Bye my babies, love you both," Spencer said to the kids.

"Bye Mommy, I love you too!" Lucas called as he put on his backpack.

"Yeah see ya Mommy, love you lots," Hannah said with a sad smile. Spencer smiled lovingly at them until the door closed behind them and she was alone again.

That's when she let the tears fall. She was scared, so damn scared that she wasn't going to beat this thing. She knew the next few months were going to be tough. The chemo was going to take its toll on her already exhausted body and she was just scared that the strain would be too much.


	24. Ten Year Milestone

**Thank you to all who read and review**

jareaufan – wow thank you, that means so much. This has been a challenge to write because I want it to stay real. Really thank you so much

domino lavendel – I'm sorry it's hurting so much, but I thank you for sticking with it

freakanatomy – Thank you!

WillowOn3 – I will not be disclosing whether I will be improving Spencer's health or not, just know that I have the story planned out and it will be ending at approximately chapter 30. Thanks for the review my friend

bethers85 – Thanks for the ideas! I have written up to ch28 and I promise more flashbacks are on the way (even in this coming chapter). I will try and give you more insight into Ashley's feelings as well. Thanks!

hugbuddy13, Irishgrl33 – Yeah this story is probably the saddest I've ever and will ever do

mutt009 – The kids are cute and I feel so mean for putting them through this

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Four – Ten Year Milestone**

Spencer slumped down in her hospital bed and stared out the window. She had just had her third dose of chemo since the second phase of treatment had begun, third dose of far too many to count. This second round was already making her feel all kinds of crap. So much so the doctor was talking about her staying in hospital for the duration of her treatment, all four months of it.

Spencer was not overly impressed.

She argued that keeping her away from her family was only going to detrimentally impact her health. Sadly it did not sway her doctor who felt that the best shot of a full recovery would come from Spencer being kept in hospital so they could monitor her more efficiently.

Ashley had become oh so unpopular with her wife when she had voiced her agreement with the doctor. Just to be clear, she missed having her wife at home too, but the most important thing to her was seeing Spencer well again. No matter what it took.

Spencer heard the sound of gentle footsteps approaching her doorway and couldn't help but smile, it was Ashley. The brunette stepped into the room with a sweet smile and moved quickly to her wife's side to place a tender kiss on her cheek. She wasn't allowed to kiss Spencer on the lips for a few hours after a chemo treatment, doctor's orders. It was another thing that did not overly impress the blonde.

"Hey beautiful, how are you feeling?" Ashley murmured as she perched on the side of the narrow bed.

"Tired but ok. How are my little ones?" Spencer asked.

Ashley had left the hospital to go pick the kids up from school and drop them off at Paula and Arthur's for the night. It seemed easier than having them at home with Ashley rushing off to the hospital as often as she could. Actually Ashley had been sleeping at her in-law's too.

"They're good Spence, Lucas has soccer this weekend and he is very excited because the coach has asked him to step in as goalie. And Hannah has decided she just _has_ to start doing horse riding competitions with her riding school. I told her we'd talk about it and let her know," Ashley said softly, stroking the smooth skin of her wife's cheek with the backs of her fingers.

"Wow she really is my daughter isn't she? I begged Mom and Dad for _years_ for horse riding lessons, they never let me. Mom was afraid I'd get injured and Dad said it was too expensive. I say if we talk to the riding school and it all sounds ok then I think we let her try it out. What do you think love?" Spencer asked, leaning into the hand stroking her face.

Ashley smiled lovingly and nodded, "I think that sounds fair, but if she gets all obsessed and starts begging for a pony you are the one who has to tell her no!"

Spencer chuckled and nodded, "Ok deal, but say we wait and see before we decide she is never getting a pony. She's a natural and she might just love it!"

Ashley rolled her eyes, "No living vicariously through our daughter Mrs. Carlin-Davies!"

Spencer smirked, "Would I do that?" Ashley just grinned and nodded. Spencer laughed, "So maybe I would, I just want them to have the opportunities to try new things and grow into the people I know they can be. I want to know they're going to have those opportunities…even if I'm not here anymore." Spencer and Ashley both lost the smiles on their faces at Spencer's words.

Ashley shook her head violently, "Don't you dare talk like that Spencer. You _are_ going to be around for a damn long time yet, so don't start giving up. Do you hear me?"

Spencer looked up at the trembling brunette sadly, "I'm just trying to be realistic Ash."

"Well don't, don't be realistic. Try being optimistic, please I can't bear to hear you talk like that," Ashley begged quietly, her big brown eyes swimming in tears.

Spencer sighed tiredly and pursed her lips before murmuring, "Ok."

They sat in silence for a moment before Ashley reached into her pocket and pulled out an Ipod. "I uh, I updated the songs on here for you, I thought it would give you something to listen to while I'm not here to talk your ears off."

Spencer flashed her a brief smile before taking the offered music player, "Thank you." Spencer started flipping through the music her wife had chosen, smiling fondly at how well her wife knew her tastes. She landed on one song in particular and held the Ipod up for Ashley to look at, "You put this one on here huh?"

"Of course I did, I wrote that song for you! Do you remember when I played it for you for the first time?" Ashley murmured with a sweet smile.

"Of course I do, it was our tenth wedding anniversary. That was a spectacular night," Spencer said with a warm smile.

_[Flashback]_

_Spencer threaded her earring into her ear lobe and snapped on the back. She ran her hands through her long blonde hair and adjusted her purple, spaghetti strap silk top. She smoothed her hands over the tight black pants she was wearing and smiled into the mirror. She wanted to look perfect for tonight._

_She heard muffled curse words from the bathroom adjoining her and her wife's bedroom and chuckled softly to herself. "You ok in there Ash?" She called out._

"_Uh yeah, I'm all good in here Baby, um do you think you could wait for me downstairs? I won't be long I promise!" Ashley called through the closed and locked bathroom door._

_Spencer shook her head and laughed, "Sure love, I'll be waiting for you when you're ready."_

_Spencer stepped into her black Manolo Blahniks picked up her purse and headed down stairs to wait for her wife. She knew Ashley had planned this whole night out extensively and was desperate for it to be perfect so she was going to go along with whatever her, sometimes crazy brunette wife wanted._

_She poured herself a glass of the New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc that she had developed a taste for and wandered out onto the deck overlooking the beach. Spencer smiled softly to herself and gazed out over the crashing waves. She sipped her wine and waited patiently for Ashley to emerge from the house._

_Meanwhile Ashley was madly trying to clean up the minor incident that had happened in the bathroom. She had been finishing her makeup when she had accidentally knocked Spencer's favourite perfume over, cracking the bottle so that it began to leak all over her and all over the really expensive towels Spencer had just brought._

_Now nobody loved Spencer's perfume more than Ashley, but she didn't want to be doused in it, particularly in her very expensive designer dress. Ashley groaned in frustration and ripped the material over her head. She stripped off and climbed back in the shower to try and get rid of some of the smell._

_She managed to keep her hair from getting wet and after the quickest shower in history she jumped out and raced into their bedroom, sighing in relief when she saw that Spencer had in fact listened to her and gone down stairs. _

_Ashley began a frantic search through the wardrobe for something new to wear. She was mad at herself, she had spent a small fortune on that dress especially for tonight! Sighing to herself she pulled out a short black dress that she hadn't had the chance to wear yet. Slipping it on she nodded in the mirror, yeah it would do._

_The dress had a wide strap over her left shoulder, leaving her right bare, and was fitted like a toga. It had a red clasp just over her right hip that gathered the dress in and showed off her curves. It fell to a few inches above her knees, leaving a fair amount of tanned legs on display. _

_Ashley finished her makeup hurriedly and scooped up her bag, checking to make sure Spencer's present was inside, and then made her way down stairs after slipping on her high heels. She wandered through the house, knowing exactly where she would find her wife._

_Ashley paused in the doorway and watched Spencer lean against the railing surrounding the deck. Her big blue eyes were gazing out over the ocean and she had a tiny smile on her face. She looked so peaceful._

_This deck and its beach side location had been the deciding factor when they were looking for a house to buy. They had been living in the loft that Ashley had shared with Kyla for almost three years. This house had been the first they'd looked at and to be quite frank they didn't bother looking at any others, much to Paula Carlin's disappointment and nagging._

_Ashley grinned and stepped up behind her wife. She slid her arms around the blonde's waist and pulled the familiar body back against her own. Spencer turned her head slightly and sniffed a little, "Wow Ash did you bathe in my perfume?"_

_Ashley shook her head and sighed, "Well it's a long story and let's just say I had a minor accident and I will go out tomorrow and buy you a brand new bottle. Oh and trust me this is a much more muted smell than I was sporting before." _

_Spencer chuckled and snuggled back against her wife, "I don't even want to know." They stood in silence for a little while, just enjoying the view and the feeling of being together. The children were with Kyla and Aiden tonight, giving them an entire night together children free. It had been a long time since that had happened._

"_So Mrs. Carlin-Davies, how does it feel to know you have been married to a gorgeous, talented and incredible woman for ten whole years?" Ashley purred._

_Spencer chuckled, "You forgot modest Darling. And it feels beyond amazing. There aren't words to describe how I am feeling right now. I love you Mrs. Davies."_

"_And I love you," Ashley murmured, turning her wife around in her arms so that she could kiss her properly. Their lips danced together sensuously, soft moans escaped them and things probably would have gotten a little out of control if Ashley hadn't realised they still had a hell of a lot of anniversary plans for that night._

_Ashley pulled back, earning her a groan of protest and a sad little pout from her wife. She chuckled and tucked some silky blonde hair behind Spencer's ear, "Don't worry love, there'll be plenty of time for that later, but for now we have a nigh to remember to get started on. I wanted tonight to be special, not just because ten years ago today you made me the luckiest woman alive, but because ten years ago today you gave me my dream come true."_

_Spencer smiled tearfully at her wife, moved to the point of speechlessness. She leaned in and kissed the brunette softly, almost chastely before pulling back and taking her hand._

_Ashley beamed her nose-crinkling smile and led her wife back inside the house so they could head off. Ashley helped Spencer pull on her tailored black jacket and then slipped on her own. They locked the house and then walked down the front path to where a long black limousine sat waiting for them._

_Spencer turned around and grinned at her wife. Ashley shrugged and smirked, "well I was planning on getting you all liquored up so I could take advantage of you in the back of a limo, you know fulfill once of my fantasies!"_

_Spencer arched her eyebrow and smirked right back at her wife, "Uh do you not remember what went down in the limo after I won my first Oscar? I ended up getting my foot stuck in the cup holder!"_

_Ashley got a fond smile of remembrance on her face, "Oh yeah I remember that! Man that has got to be the record for the most quickies in a forty-five minute car ride!" _

_Spencer giggled and blushed faintly. Ashley loved that even after ten years of marriage she could still make her wife blush. There was something so endearing about the blonde woman when she blushed like a shy school girl, even after all this time it never failed to affect her wife._

_Ashley waved off the limo driver and held open the door to the long car for Spencer. She helped her wife inside and then climbed in after her, of course taking a moment to stare at Spencer's ass. _

_Once they were safely inside and the Limo driver was pulling out of their long driveway, Spencer turned to the brunette beside her and kissed her sensuously on the lips. Pulling back with a grin she murmured, "I just wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous tonight Mrs. Davies. Truly amazing."_

_Ashley beamed her nose-crinkling smile and pecked her wife on the lips, "So do you Spence, you are so beautiful. Every day I have to ask myself how the hell I got so damn lucky!"_

_Spencer chuckled, "You're so corny Ash, lucky I love that about you!" Ashley rolled her eyes and joined in her wife's laughter. "So I just wanted to thank you for tonight, I know it hasn't ever really started yet, but I also know you and that means I know it is going to be one mind-blowing night!" Spencer murmured, brining her lips within a few millimeters of her wife's._

"_Hmm, I promise tonight will more than live up to expectations," Ashley purred before capturing her wife's lips hungrily._

_They made out like horny teenagers until the limo came to a stop. Spencer pulled back and tried to get a look out the window to see where they were. Ashley laughed and tilted her wife's face so that she could look into her big blue eyes, "you ready to have your world rocked!"_

_Spencer laughed and smiled fondly, "Oh darling you are such a dork! But yes I am."_

_Ashley took her wife's hand and waited for the limo driver to open their door. Time for the night to truly begin!_

**To Be Continued…..**


	25. When I'm With You

**Thank you for reviewing**

domino lavendel – I think a break from the drama was needed, hence the flashback

hugbuddy13 – Thanks, yeah they are still very much in love even after ten years

freakanatomy, bethers85, AliciaJ29 – Aw thank you!

mutt009 – Very true, sadly no one, not kids or adults, get to pick what life throws at them.

WillowOn3 – Ah yeah I am mean, sorry about the Cliffhanger! Yeah horse riding is great, I did it for 11 years, competed and everything. I had to give it up for a while when I hurt my back and was doing final year uni. I plan to get back into it.

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Five – ****When I'm With You**

**Previously:** Ashley took her wife's hand and waited for the limo driver to open their door. Time for the night to truly begin!

_[Flashback Cont…]_

_Ashley stepped out of the long black limousine and helped Spencer step out of the car. The blonde looked around her in confusion, her head tilted to the side as she tried to figure out what her wife had up her sleeve. _

_They were at an airfield. Spencer looked at her wife, who was just barely managing to hold back her laughter at Spencer's confusion. "What's going on Ash? Why are we here?" Spencer asked._

"_Well I thought that would be obvious, you know for a smart chick you can be kinda blonde sometimes!" Ashley said with a smirk, earning her a playful slap on the arm. "Ok, ok no need to get violent! Sheesh! Ok so I am taking you to dinner, this much is true, but I thought I'd take you to dinner at the little secluded winery in the Napa Valley. They even have a little airfield where we can land. What do you think?" Ashley said with a smirk._

_Spencer glanced at the plane__ and then looked back her wife in opened mouth shock. Ashley was seriously thinking she had just broken her wife when Spencer let out an excited squeal and launched herself into the brunette's arms. "Oh my God Ash, this is fantastic! You are amazing!" Spencer gushed in between dropping kisses all over her wife's grinning face._

"_Well there's the reaction I was going of! Now let's get your hot little ass on that plane so we can join the mile high club!" Ashley teased, earning a mocking scowl and another playful slap, "Oh so rough Mrs. Carlin-Davies...I like it!" Ashley winked and led Spencer towards the plane._

_Once they were seated side by side with their seat belts fastened the pilot climbed aboard and got ready to get them in the air. Spencer turned to her wife with an excited grin and asked, "Who's jet is this Ash?"_

"_Oh you know, just borrowed it from my friend Beyonce," Ashley said casually._

_Spencer burst out laughing and shook her head, "But you don't like her!"_

_Ashley got an offended look on her face and placed a hand over her heart, "Spencer! How dare you say such a thing? Me and B are like this!" Ashley held up two fingers crossed together and Spencer just laughed._

_Ashley was about to respond when the pilots voice came over the plane's pa system, "Ok Mrs and Mrs Davies we are ready for take off. We're expecting a nice easy flight into Napa Valley and should be there shortly. I hope you enjoy your flight and if you need anything please let Candice, our on flight attendant know. Once again enjoy your flight!"_

_A short red head wandered over and smiled at the two women, "Welcome aboard, my name is Candice and I will be here to make your flight more comfortable. If there is anything I can do please let me know."_

_She walked off to get her own seat belt on for take off and Ashley turned to her wife with an annoyed look on her face, "That chick was flirting with you! It's our damn anniversary and the pilot addressed us as Mrs and Mrs Davies and she still had the nerve to flirt with you! That is fucking low! I'm gonna kick her ass if she so much as looks at you too much!"_

_Spencer burst out laughing and shook her head, "Oh Baby that jealous streak of yours is going to get you into trouble one of these days! She was wearing a wedding ring and was just being friendly. Relax Ash and I promise once we're in the air I'll help you're little mile high fantasy come true," Spencer winked and then chuckled at the wide-eyed look of wonder on Ashley's face._

"_God I love you!" Ashley gushed and Spencer just laughed._

_A few hours later the plane landed in the Napa Valley and the ladies got off the plane. Ashley with a very satisfied smirk on her lips and Spencer with a slight blush at the knowing looks the plane crew were giving them. Let's just say Ashley got her anniversary present early._

_They were whisked off in a long black limousine and drive up to the large brown stone homestead that made up the restaurant at the winery. Ashley helped her wife from the car and led her by the hand into the beautiful building._

_A tall man with thick grey hair and kind eyes walked up to them and smiled in greeting, "Mrs and Mrs Davies, my name is Greg and it is a pleasure to welcome you to my family winery. We have a very special table set up for you both, this way."_

_Ashley held tight to Spencer's hand as they followed Greg through the very full looking room. They were led out the back and through a thick hedge into a private rose garden. Right in the middle of the garden was a large white gazebo strung up with white fairy lights. Soft music was playing through the garden helping to create a fairytale, romantic feel._

_In the very centre of the gazebo was a table set up for two. The table was covered by a crisp white table cloth and had a circle of glowing red candles circling a centre piece of red and champagne coloured roses, Spencer's favourite roses._

_Ashley wrapped her arms around her speechless wife from behind and murmured, "What do you think my love?"_

_Spencer bit her lip and turned around in her wife's arms to pull her close, "It's magical Ash, thank you so much!" Spencer husked out, tears of happiness filling her eyes._

_Greg beamed at the two of them and gestured to the table, "Please make yourselves comfortable and I will send someone out with a bottle of our finest wine, compliments of myself. Happy anniversary ladies."_

_Ashley and Spencer thanked Greg profusely before taking a seat at the table. Spencer kept looking around her in wonder. This place was truly magical. The aroma of the near by rose bushes was almost intoxicating and the twinkling of the lights and candles around them was simply stunning._

"_Ashley this is just amazing! I can't believe you did all this," Spencer whispered, locking her eyes on the familiar brown ones across from her._

_Ashley beamed her nose crinkling smile and replied, "Of course Spence, this is our ten year anniversary. There was no way this occasion was getting marked by anything short of spectacular! There are exactly five dates a year I want to celebrate and this is one of them."_

_Spencer tilted her head and looked at her wife lovingly, "Oh yeah, let me guess...our wedding anniversary, Hannah's birthday, Lucas' birthday, my birthday and yours!"_

_Ashley chuckled, "you got the first four right."_

_Spencer looked confused, "Ok so then what's number five?"_

_Ashley laughed louder and bit her lip before reaching over to take her wife's hand and murmuring, "The anniversary of the night we first got together. That was the first time I got to kiss you, make love to you and that was the night that my life changed forever. Despite everything that followed I have never forgotten how that night made me feel. That was the moment I realised for sure that I was desperately in love with you."_

_Spencer's lower lip trembled and she blinked back tears, "Wow. If only the world knew that _the _Ashley Davies was such a romantic!"_

"_Well it was also a night of extremely hot sex if that helps my rep at all?" Ashley said with a smirk and a shrug. Spencer laughed and shook her head._

_A waiter walked out to them then and poured each woman a glass of wine, which was hands down the most delicious wine either had ever tasted. They placed their order with the young man serving them, guessing rightly that he was Greg's son and then were left alone to enjoy the atmosphere and, of course, each other. _

"_You said before that the first night we were together was when you realised that loved me, so when was it that you think you actually fell in love with me?" Spencer asked coyly._

_Ashley beamed, "That's easy, in hindsight the actual moment I fell in love with you was that day at the beach when you first told me that you liked girls. That day made all the things I had been keeping inside possible. It wasn't just a hopeless crush on my straight best friend, there was a possibility that it could really happen and that is when I fell in love with you."_

_Spencer smiled sweetly and squeezed the hand clutched tightly in hers, "I am so in love with you Ashley Davies. So very in love with you!"_

_Ashley rose from her chair and walked around the table to her wife's side. She knelt down and took Spencer's hands in hers, "I love you too, so much." Spencer leaned in and kissed her wife softly on the lips. Even after knowing each other for almost fifteen years they both still got butterflies in their stomachs with each kiss and every touch._

_They lost themselves in gentle, languid kissed until the sound of approaching footsteps alerted them that their dinner was being brought out. Ashley kissed her wife once more and slid back into her seat giving Spencer a cheeky wink._

_Their waiter delivered their mouth-watering food to the table and left them alone to eat their meal. "Oh my God this smells so damn good!" Ashley exclaimed as she picked up her fork, Spencer nodded in agreement already lifting a forkful to her lips. The guttural moan Spencer let out when she slid the fork into her mouth, almost made Ashley drop her own fork in her lap._

_Spencer had her eyes closed and a blissful expression on her face as she savoured the food in her mouth. Ashley frowned and looked jealously at the food on her wife's plate before mumbling, "You're only supposed to react like that when you're eating me!"_

_Spencer's eyes shot open and she almost choked on her food. She swallowed hard and looked at her pouting wife with shock, "Huh?"_

_Ashley just shrugged sadly and took a bite of her own food, she glanced up at her wife and swallowed her food, "Ok I take it back, this food is fucking orgasmic!" Spencer laughed and they both dug into the delicious food._

_There was minimal talking as the meal was devoured, just a lot of flirtatious looks and teasing touches. Spencer had even kicked off her heel and was slowly dragging her foot up and down her wife's smooth legs._

_Once the waiter had taken their plates away Ashley glared playfully at her wife and muttered, "Tease." Spencer shrugged then nodded before standing up and walking to the railing around the gazebo so she could look out over the garden that was bathed in moon light._

_Ashley stood up and took her place behind her wife with her arms wrapped securely around her slender waist. Ashley rested her chin on Spencer's shoulder and sighed happily. This was her version of perfection, standing there with her wife in her arms._

"_So do you want the first part of your present yet?" Ashley purred into the blondes ear, sending shivers up her spine._

_Spencer spun around in the brunette's arms and rested her hands on her wife's chest, "Ash you've already done enough, hell just marrying me all those years ago was enough!"_

"_On the contrary my lovely, I plan to shower you with gifts and sexual favours for years to come," Ashley drawled seductively._

_Spencer raised her perfectly arched eyebrow and smirked, "Oh yeah?"_

_Ashley nodded, a smirk forming on her lips too. "Ok Spence take a seat and let me give you the first gift." Spencer walked back to her seat and turned it to face her wife before she sat down. She crossed her legs and smiled excitedly at her beautiful wife._

_Ashley walked to a table covered by a floor length cloth and reached under it to pull out her guitar. Spencer's eyes twinkled happily and she bit her lip as she watched her wife pull out the guitar and sling it over her shoulder. _

_Ashley quickly checked to see if it was in tune and then smirked over at her wife, "Ok so I wrote this song for you, it's called When I'm With You. Happy anniversary my darling."_

_Ashley took a deep breath and began strumming her guitar, letting the music build before she started to sing._

"_Saw you walk into the room  
Thought, I'm about to marry you  
Babe am I ever glad you wanted me too  
It's been ten years to the day  
I love you more than I can say  
I know sometimes I'm not there enough but that's gonna change  
'cause I'm always gonna come back  
To show you that I'm keeping the promise I made_

When I'm with you I'll make every second count  
'cause I miss you  
Whenever you're not around  
When I kiss you  
I'll still get butterflies years from now  
I make every second count when I'm with you

Yeah we've had our ups and down  
But we've always worked them out  
Babe am I ever glad we've got this far now  
Still I'm lying here tonight  
So glad I'm by your side  
'cause when I'm not there enough  
Nothing feels right  
So I'm coming back to show you that  
I'll love you for the rest of my life

When I'm with you  
I make every second count  
'cause I miss you  
Whenever you're not around  
When I kiss you I'll still get butterflies years from now  
I make every second count  
When I'm with you  
Whatever it takes I'm not gonna break the promise I made  
When I'm with you  
I make every second count  
'cause I miss you

When I'm with you  
I make every second count  
'cause I miss you  
Whenever you're not around  
When I kiss you  
I'll still get butterflies years from now  
I'll make every second count  
(Make every second count)

When I'm with you  
Yeah"

_Ashley finished singing and took off her guitar, laying it down on the table just in time to catch her wife as she launched herself into her arms. Spencer buried her face in the crook of her wife's neck and let her tears of pure love and joy fall freely. _

_Ashley tangled her hand in the long, silky blonde hair before crushing their lips together hungrily. They kissed passionately and roughly, both holding the other as close as they possibly could._

_Spencer tore her lips from her wife's and gasped out, "God I love you! Please tell me we have a room booked somewhere near here because I am feeling the need for very loud and very hot anniversary sex!"_

"_Oh hell yes! Come on Mrs. Carlin-Davies, time for hot anniversary sex to commence!" Ashley said huskily as she swept her wife up in her arms and carried her over to the guest house she had booked for the night. _

_She carried her wife over the threshold, just like she'd done on their wedding day and lay her lovingly down on the bed. Ashley stood beside the bed and looked down at the blonde goddess laying across the covers. "How the hell did I get so lucky?" she whispered breathlessly._

"_I don't know, but I do know that if you don't lose the clothes and get your hot ass over here you won't be getting lucky tonight! Spencer teased with wide smirk while lifting her silk top over her head and laying back against the bed in just her black pants and lacy black bra._

"_Yes ma'am!" Ashley gasped out as she quickly shed her own clothes and joined her wife on the bed. In a matter of minutes both we naked and writhing against each other. Touches became more heated, breaths came hard and fast as they strained against each other towards the edge._

_They came together, both shedding tears at the intensity of the moment between them._

_As they lay spent against one another in the glow of the rising sun, Ashley kissed her wife's temple and whispered, "Time to get a start on the next ten years."_

_[End of Flashback]_

"It really was an incredible night. It felt like a wonderful dream, so many moments I've shared with you do," Spencer murmured tiredly, but with a warm smile.

"I know the feeling my beautiful one. In ten years time, on our twentieth wedding anniversary I am taking you back to that winery and we'll make more beautiful memories together," Ashley whispered as she lay beside her wife on the narrow hospital bed.

She wrapped her arms around her frail wife and held her close. Both of them fighting to hold onto hope that they would get to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary together.

**Song used in this chapter**

**When I'm With You by Faber Drive (the lyrics were altered slightly to fit better with the story)**


	26. Daddy Time

**Thank you to all who read/review/favourite/alert**

domino lavendel, freakanatomy – Thank you!

hugbuddy13 – I agree, keep hope alive that Spencer will be alive on their 20th wedding anniversary

hphglover – Trust me is no easier to write than it is to read. The painful part is that everyone has been touched by cancer in one way or another, myself included. Thank you

WillowOn3 – Yeah my imagination is one scary place to be sometimes lol. Yeah Ashley is all about the elaborate demonstrations of love! I felt a need to break from the drama. Thanks Hun

mutt009 – Thank you, the flashback was a break but the reality of their situation is still there, just waiting

**Usual disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Six – Daddy Time**

Spencer sighed as Judy walked out of her hospital room and slumped back against the pillows propping her up in bed. She was now a month into her second round of chemo therapy and it sucked just as much the second time round as it had the first. The worst part was that she still hadn't been released from hospital following her little collapsing episode at her parents.

To say that Spencer was eager to get her butt out of hospital was an understatement, but Dr. Gratis was concerned that given her extremely weakened state she was best to be in hospital where she could be monitored around the clock.

Spencer had asked every day whether she could go home and was constantly being told that as soon as she was stronger they would send her home. She got the feeling that they were just trying to placate her and that no one really thought she would ever be well enough to leave the hospital again.

She fought hard to keep positive, to hold onto hope, but each day in that hospital bed just made it harder and harder to not fall into despair. She hid it well. When her wife and children or the rest of the family were visiting Spencer was smiling and cheerful. As soon as she was alone she crumbled.

Holding onto the façade of being fine was beyond exhausting, but she didn't want to burden her family any more than she already had. Spencer down played how sick she was feeling. Every day she acted as though everything was going to be alright, when inside she was screaming.

"Good morning Spencer," Dr. Gratis said with a kind smile as she walked into the hospital room. Spencer smiled briefly but said nothing.

"How are you feeling today after the treatment?" She asked while picking up the blonde's chart to read the notes the nurses had left.

Spencer shrugged, "same as I usually feel after having all those chemicals pumped into my body. I don't see my answer to that question ever changing."

The doctor sighed and took a seat on the chair beside the bed, "Spencer I know this is awful for you, to be stuck in hospital and going through this. If there was another way to fight this disease then I would take it."

Spencer nodded, "I know, I'm sorry I'm just feeling pretty fed up today."

"It's ok Spencer, really it is. None of this is easy and there is no right or wrong way to handle it. I'd say given everything you are actually handling this all rather admirably. I see people everyday battling with this illness and it never gets any easier, but seeing you and the strength you've shown, Spencer it is truly inspiring," Dr. Gratis said gently.

"I just get so angry some times, so damn angry. This illness is robbing me of time with my family, hell even if it doesn't end up killing me it has still stolen months of my life. I am less of a mother since I've become sick because I just can't be there for my children like I used to be. And Ashley, God I am hardly a wife to her anymore. I can't even hold her in my arms through the night anymore because I'm stuck in hospital. I am failing my family," Spencer cried brokenly, feeling beyond wretched.

Dr. Gratis sighed heavily and took the younger woman's hand in hers, "Spencer I am not going to pretend to know what is going through your head right now, but what I do know is that your family love you so much. Your wife loves you unconditionally, in sickness and in health is in the vows and your wife demonstrates that more than anyone else I have ever met."

Spencer smiled thinly at the older woman and leaned back against the pillows of her bed. Dr. Gratis patted her hand and got to her feet, "Ok Spencer I'm going to leave you to rest now, please have them page me if you need anything at all." Spencer nodded and pulled her blankets up to her neck as she rolled onto her side. The doctor smiled sadly at the back of the younger woman's head and left the room silently.

Spencer closed her eyes and let her exhaustion take her away from the depressing thoughts that were threatening to take her over. Sleep blissfully claimed her quickly.

The next morning Spencer was sitting in the chair by her window looking out over the dreary looking hospital parking lot when her three favourite people wandered into her room. "Mommy!" Lucas called as he ran over to give her a big hug.

Spencer pulled him up onto her lap, with some difficulty, and held him tightly against her, "Hello my little man! Wow am I glad to see you guys!"

Spencer lowered Lucas to the floor and pulled Hannah in for a loving hug. The younger blonde buried her face into her mother's neck and held her close. "Hey Baby girl, how are you?"

Hannah pulled back so she could smile up at her Mommy, "I'm good Mommy, I went horse riding this morning and they let me ride Harley. He's a chestnut and sooo pretty! He was such a good boy and I even trotted over some small jumps Mommy, it was so fun!"

"Wow baby girl, that's great! I'm so happy for you. When are you going riding again?" Spencer asked with a grin for her daughter.

"In a week, Momma said once a week is enough for now. Pip, the instructor, said I can ride Harley again next time if I want to!" Hannah gushed enthusiastically.

"Well I think Momma's right and that's great you can ride Harley again next time. You'll have to get Momma to take so photos so Mommy can see them!" Spencer beamed at her little girl.

The younger blonde nodded excitedly and ran over to sit on her brunette mother's lap so her little brother could tell their Mommy a story about her golden puppy. Lucas crawled up onto her lap and snuggled lovingly into her arms as he regaled her with a tale of Oliver and the garden hose…the hose lost for the record.

Spencer chuckled tiredly at her son's enthused story telling and ran her fingers through his messy curls. It amazed her how no matter what they did Lucas' curls would never lie neatly. Ashley told her it was because he was going to be a rock star, Spencer more thought it was because his hair was as stubborn as he was.

The family sat around for a little longer, just enjoying being together when there was a knock on the door and Arthur wandered in. "Grandpa!" Lucas and Hannah called excitedly, running to give him a big hug.

"Hi Kids, you being good for your Moms?" He asked with a twinkle in his blue eyes. They nodded enthusiastically and beamed when he handed each of them a chocolate bar.

While Hannah and Lucas were occupied with their treat Arthur went over and greeted his daughter and daughter in law. Arthur placed a gentle kiss on his daughter head and gave Ashley's shoulder a soft squeeze.

Ashley and the kids left soon to give Spencer some time with her father. Spencer was smothered with kisses and hugs before her wife and kids walked out. Arthur helped Spencer up from her chair by the window and back into bed. She was tired and fading fast.

Once she was back in the bed Arthur lovingly tucked the blankets in around her thin body, much like he used to when she was a little girl. Arthur sat on the edge of the bed and took his daughters hand. He smiled lovingly down at his youngest child and said softly, "How are you feeling Sweetie?"

Spencer smiled wearily and murmured, "I'm shit Dad. I feel like utter shit and the energy it takes to pretend that I'm alright around my children and wife is exhausting."

"Of all people, you don't have to hide from Ashley she loves you and just wants to be there for you," Arthur said softly still clutching her hand.

"But she wants me to be optimistic and keep hope alive, but Dad I am running out of hope. I can't see myself getting through this. I thought if I fought and did everything tight. If I loved my family and they loved me then it would all be ok, but I don't believe that any more. I am really starting to believe that I am going to die Daddy," Spencer choked out before bursting into wracking sobs.

Arthur gathered his daughter up in his arms and held her close. He rocked her gently, just like he used to do when she was a little girl. He fought back his own tears, she needed him to be strong. She needed his optimism and strength. It was not his time to break down, that would come later once he was at home with his wife.

"Spencer I know this is scary and it is so easy to just give up and lose hope, but you my girl have so much to hold on for. You have a beautiful family who love and need you so any time you think about giving up and not fighting anymore I want you to think of what it will do to them to lose you. Not to mention what it will do to everyone else who loves you," Arthur kissed her forehead gently and held her against his chest as she cried even harder.

His baby girl had been so strong through all this and now it was finally getting to be too much for her. He just prayed that she could find reserves of hope and strength inside because it was pretty certain that this family would not recover from losing Spencer. He knew that losing another child was not something he and his wife could survive.

Spencer sobbed brokenly into her father's chest, pouring all her fears and pain into the man who had always been there for her. Nothing had ever disturbed the relationship between father and daughter and this cancer sure as hell wasn't going to. Arthur had been the parent to always make her feel safe and loved, especially when she first came out. Arthur had protected his daughter and never made her feel anything but loved.

Spencer cried until she drifted off to sleep. Arthur lowered his exhausted, fragile daughter to her pillows and adjusted her blankets around her. He gently stroked her face that even in sleep was twisted with anguish and pain.

Looking down into her beautiful face Arthur knew there was nothing he wouldn't give if it meant he could take away all her pain and give her back her life. He would gladly lay down his own life if it meant his daughter would get to spend a long and happy one with her wife and children. It just all seemed so very unfair.

Spencer clung tightly to her father's hand in her sleep and snuggled closer to him, drawing an affectionate smile from the broken man perched on the side of her hospital bed. He glanced at the walls around her bed and chuckled softly at the multicoloured artwork his grandson had put together for Spencer. The walls were also postered in pictures of the children, Ashley and Oliver.

On Spencer's bed side table were three framed photos. The first was one taken of the Carlin clan the day they moved into their house in L.A. Paula and Arthur stood at the back with their arms around each other. In front of their parents Spencer stood in between her brothers who both had an arm around her. Everyone but Glen was grinning at the camera, he of course was pulling a ridiculous face at his little sister.

The second picture was taken of Spencer and Ashley at their wedding. The shot had been snapped by Chelsea right as they had shared their first kiss as a married couple. Their eyes were closed and they were holding tight to each other. Both women were smiling into the kiss and had tears of happiness on their faces.

The last picture brought fresh tears to Arthur's eyes. It was a photo of Spencer, Ashley and the kids. It had been taken a few months before Spencer had been diagnosed. They were all sitting down on the beach. Ashley was sitting behind Spencer, her arms wrapped protectively around her waist while Spencer leaned back against her chest. Hannah was leaning against Spencer's thigh as her mother ran her fingers through her blonde hair and Lucas was snuggled up to Spencer's other side while he stared adoringly up at her.

Arthur picked up the frame and smiled down at the picture of the happy family. He had taken that photo himself and given it to Spencer for mother's day. He smiled sadly and placed the photo back in its place on the bedside table. He prayed for the day his daughter and family would get more happy moments like the one in the picture.

**So this story is drawing to a close. I have written the ending and will be posting fairly regularly so you guys get the ending soon. I think there are 5 chapters to go.**


	27. Baby Blues

**Thank you. Ending is fast approaching**

domino lavendel – Thank you, sorry about the sniffles!

freakanatomy – Thank you! you don't have long to wait to find out what happens to Spencer.

WillowOn3 – Yep positive thinking is important but can you blame Spencer for her feelings? I agree it is important though.

bethers85 – Thanks, I love writing Arthur he is the epitome of what a father should be. Yep ending soon and of course I a not giving anything away!

hugbuddy13 – Yep the end is fast approaching!

cathielove10, rachel hardy – the ending is already written so we'll see what happens to Spencer

hphglover – sorry for the teary eyed! Not ridiculous at all, it means a lot that this story is affecting people

Shanemmac16 – Thanks, the ending is written but I will not be revealing the ending until that chapter is posted. Everyone is keen on me not killing Spencer, big surprise

mutt009 – yeah it's sad, even for me and I'm writing it!

**Usual Disclaimer – SoN not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven – Baby Blues**

Ashley walked briskly along the far too familiar halls of the hospital towards her wife's room. She had spent far too much time in hospitals since Spencer's diagnosis. She now hated them with a blinding passion that made her kind of want to burn the whole building down. An urge she ignored seeing as her wife was still a resident of said hospital.

She adjusted the strap of the bag hanging over her shoulder and smiled thinly at a nurse she recognised as she neared the door to her wife's room. She paused just outside and took a deep breath to steady herself before pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Spencer's eyes moved to the door at the sound of it being pushed open. She fixed a faint smile on her lips at the sight of her wife, feeling much to tired for anything more than that. Ashley stepped into the room and crossed the floor to her wife's side. She took the thin, frail looking hand into her own and placed a lovingly kiss on the translucent skin.

"Hello my Darling, how are you feeling?" Ashley murmured, her lips still against the skin on the back if her wife's hand.

Spencer sighed and shrugged, "I dunno, pretty crappy I guess. I had another treatment earlier and now, after throwing up for a good half hour or so, I guess I'm doing alright now."

Ashley kept hold of Spencer's hand as she perched on the edge of her bed. "Is there anything I can do for you Spence?" She asked softly.

Spencer nodded and smiled wearily, "You could pour me a cup of water please, my throat is so dry right now."

Ashley nodded and smiled as she got to her feet to grab her wife some water. She brought the cup over and handed it to her wife and retaking her seat on the edge of the hospital bed. Spencer smiled gratefully and drank thirstily from the cup. Once she had placed the cup on her bedside table Spencer opened up her arms and smiled lovingly, albeit tiredly at Ashley.

Needing not further encouragement Ashley moved up the bed and into her wife's waiting arms. Ashley rested her cheek against her wife's chest and sighed in contentment as Spencer's arms circled her torso. Spencer moved a hand up so she could run her fingers through the dark brown curls she loved so very much.

Ashley leaned further into her and practically purred at the contact. She missed being in her wife's arms. Since she had been admitted to hospital Spencer had been far less touchy than she had been before. Ashley understood, but it didn't mean she didn't miss her wife's touch.

They sat like that for a while until Spencer began to cough. Ashley moved out of her arms and poured her another cup of water. Spencer smiled gratefully and took the cup in her hands. She sipped a few times and asked with a soft little smile, "So how are my babies?"

Ashley took her wife's hand and smiled, "They're good Spence, I even got some new photos of them developed so you could put them up in here." Ashley reached over and scooped up her bag so she could fish out the photos.

She pulled out an envelope and passed it to her wife. Spencer beamed at her wife and dropped her hand so she could take out the photos. She pulled them out and chuckled at the first one. It showed a very muddy Lucas dressed in his soccer uniform with a ball in his arms. Clay, Glen and Chelsea's son, was by his side and equally as muddy.

Spencer moved to the next photo and smiled fondly as she took in the sight of her daughter sitting confidently up on a glossy chestnut horse. Hannah's grin was wide and excited as she patted the friendly looking horse on the neck. A love of horses was one that Spencer shared with her daughter, Ashley would never admit it to anyone, besides Spencer, but she was deathly afraid of the big animals. The only reason she agreed to Hannah having riding lessons was because of how much it meant to her two blonde girls.

Spencer flipped to the next photo and beamed at the sight of her young son dribbling a basketball past his Uncle Glen, who looked very worn out. Glen was determined that either his son or nephew were going to play in the NBA. Spencer spent a lot of time telling Glen not to live vicariously through the boys, and then getting called a hypocrite by her wife for her insistence that Hannah would one day be a famous dressage rider or show jumper.

The next photo was an action shot of Hannah up on the big chestnut horse. They were trotting around an arena with a group of other girls on horses and ponies of various heights and colours. Hannah looked so natural and at ease on the big gentle gelding that Spencer couldn't help but grin.

Spencer looked up at her wife and said with a grin, "I think we should think about buying Hannah a pony. She loves it so much and she looks like a natural."

Ashley's eyes all but bugged out of her head as she stared at her wife, "Uh Spence I'm not sure that's a good idea. A horse is a lot of work and I'm just not sure she is ready for one yet. How about we set up some private lessons for her with Pip and then in a year or so we talk about it again?"

Spencer looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded, "ok sounds fair, but I say we talk about it in six months."

Ashley chuckled and rolled her eyes, "Ok deal!" truthfully hearing her wife make plans for six months down the track, even something as simple as discussing whether or not to buy their daughter a pony, made Ashley insanely happy.

Of late she had felt her wife withdrawing, almost like she was giving up a little. It was scary, even though she understood why her wife was feeling so hopeless. All the treatments meant to help her beat this disease for good were making her feel so sick. It was heartbreaking to watch.

Ashley smiled at her wife as Spencer turned back to the photos in her hands. The rest consisted of more of the kids, with a few of the extended family and Oliver thrown in for good measure.

The last picture was one of Hannah running a brush over Harley's, the chestnut horse, coat. The smile on her face was exactly Spencer's. Spencer ran her fingers over the photo and sighed, "Wow has she grown up so fast. It seems like just yesterday she was a newborn baby, freaking both you and I out every time she did anything. We were the most nervous new parents ever!"

Ashley threw back her head and laughed. They had definitely been very anxious and inexperienced first time Moms!

_[Flashback]_

_Ashley held open the front door and Spencer stepped carefully inside, carrying the capsule in her arms like it was the most precious thing in her world. The capsule was not precious, but what it contained was. Inside the capsule was their brand new little girl._

_Baby Hannah Ashley Davies, with her giant saucer blue eyes and fuzz of blonde hair had already stolen the hearts of not only her two mothers, but also her entire extended family. She was the first grandchild for Paula and Arthur and second niece for the Carlin and Davies families._

_Spencer walked through the foyer and grinned warmly at Rose, their house keeper, who stepped out to meet the newest arrival to the family. The older woman stepped closed and let out a soft breath, "Wow Spencer, she is so beautiful!"_

_Ashley walked up beside her wife and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Yeah she is, she looks just like her Mommy!"_

_Spencer blushed and smiled adoringly at her wife, before turning her gaze to her baby girl. Hannah had entered the world three days prior after an easy, trouble free pregnancy. Hell she had even been born on the exact due date the doctor had given Ashley and Spencer at their first pre-natal appointment. _

"_I'm just going to go up and get Hannah settled in her room," Spencer said softly, her eyes still glued to the tiny baby. She walked towards the stairs without waiting for a response. Ashley glanced after her girls with a smile of contentment._

_The smile did not last long._

_Cut to an hour later. Baby Hannah was screaming blue murder while her blonde mother rocked her in her arms and tried to sooth her. Ashley had already tried to settle the baby to no avail. Little Hannah just kept on screaming._

_Finally after another hour Spencer broke down and turned to her wife with tears in her eyes, "Go call my mother, please just go call my Mom!"_

_Ashley just nodded and bolted from the nursery and the almost hysterical baby and woman. She made the call and her very desperate tone got Paula to speed like a crazy woman to get to their house. The older blonde strode in and straight up stairs towards the sound of the new baby's cries._

_She paused in the door and smiled at the sight of her daughter cradling baby Hannah in her arms. Spencer looked every inch the terrified, first time mother. Ashley was hovering nearby looking ready to start crying along with her daughter._

_Paula stepped into the room and said over the crying, "What's going on girls?"_

_Spencer spun around and almost cried in relief when she saw her mother, "Oh thank God Mom! I can't get her to stop crying, I've tried everything! I fed her, changed her, burped her, sung to her, everything! Mom I don't know what to do!"_

_Paula smiled gently and walked forward to take her granddaughter into her arms. As soon as she held the baby the cries stopped. Spencer looked horrified and then burst into tears and bolted from the room crying, "My own baby hates me!"_

_Paula looked over at a tired and emotional Ashley and carefully passed her the now sleeping Hannah before taking off after her daughter._

_Paula found Spencer sobbing face down on her bed. She took a seat beside her daughter and rubbed her back comfortingly, "Spence, your baby doesn't hate you. That's just not true. There is nothing stronger than the bond between mother and child."_

_Spencer turned her tear stained face to look at her mother and cried out, "Then why couldn't I comfort her? why did she only stop crying when you took her?"_

"_Oh sweetheart, she was probably picking up on how anxious you were. Darling I can see how scared you are and that is perfectly natural, your daughter is just so in tune with you that she was picking up on it. Plus by the time I took her she had pretty much cried herself out," Paula murmured as she rubbed Spencer's back._

"_What if I can't do this Mom? What if I can't be a mother?" Spencer sobbed in a small voice._

"_Oh Sweetie, you are a mother. Watching you with your little girl is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You are just experiencing the fear that all first time mothers go through. You should have seen me with Glen! I was so scared I made my mother stay with us, much to your father's displeasure. You are going to be a wonderful mother, hell even Ashley, who I have had my doubts about, is going to be an amazing mother. It's all going to be ok Spence."_

_Well it was ok...for a week and then Hannah stopped sleeping through the night and got very colicky. There was literally nothing that could be done to sooth the poor little thing. Spencer did not sleep much at all, refusing to leave her baby's side while she was suffering so much._

_Hannah was irritable and crying almost constantly. She was fussy and driving her mother's steadily crazy. _

_Every available family member had taken a shot at soothing the baby to no avail, she was inconsolable. Spencer and Ashley had been to their doctor and were simply told that this was a normal part of development for Hannah, it didn't make it any easier for her mothers' to cope with._

_One night after Hannah had been home from the hospital for three weeks Ashley awoke to an empty bed beside her, a rather common occurrence since the birth of their daughter. She staggered out of bed and down the hallway to the nursery where she found her wife._

_Spencer was pacing the nursery with their daughter cradled against her chest while Hannah sobbed her little heart out. Spencer had tears streaming down her face and she cooed lovingly to her daughter. Spencer looked exhausted. She had hardly slept in weeks and it was taking a serious toll on her._

_Ashley stepped into the room and walked over to take the baby from her wife. Spencer looked brokenly at her wife and whispered huskily, "I should be able to comfort my own baby, but I just can't get her to stop crying. Ashley I don't know what to do!"_

_Ashley took the tiny bundle into her arms and leaned forward to kiss her wife softly on the lips, "Spence, you do comfort her. When Hannah is in your arms she is more peaceful then she is any other time. She looks up at you with so much love. She is just not feeling great right now so she can't settle, but that has nothing to do with you as a mother. You are a natural at all this while I stumbling along trying not to mess up."_

_Spencer smiled wearily and wrapped her arms around her wife so that both her girls were held close to her, "I just want her to be alright Ash. The sound of her crying like this breaks my heart a little every time."_

_Ashley kissed her again and murmured, "I know my love, me too. Hannah is going to be ok though, she'll grow out of this and then these sleepless nights filled with anxiety will be a distant memory. It's all going to be ok."_

_Spencer smiled gratefully and moved to take a seat in the antique rocking chair Glen and Chelsea had brought for them. Ashley passed her the little girl before taking a seat on the chest beside her wife and daughter. Spencer gazed down at her daughter with so much love that Ashley felt tears fill her eyes._

_Hannah's cries had lessened the moment she was back in her blonde mother's arms and now she was just sniffling and whimpering. Spencer lightly stroked her daughter's rosy cheek with her index finger and murmured, "Oh Hannah Davies you don't know how lucky you are baby girl, you have been born into one of the craziest but most filled with love families in the entire world. Me and your Momma love you so very much and no matter what we are always going to be here for you. Hey maybe if we're very lucky we can get Momma to sing us a song while I feed you? Hmmm how's that sound?"_

_Spencer looked up and flashed her wife a loving smile. Ashley chuckled and started thinking about a song to sing as Spencer freed her breast and brought the baby to her nipple. Hannah latched on and gazed adoringly up at her mother with her chubby little hand splayed out on the tanned skin of her mother's chest._

_Ashley felt her heart swell with love for the blonde beauties in front of her. it never failed to move her watching Spencer breast feed their daughter. There was something almost spiritual about it. The look shared between woman and child was so breath-takingly beautiful that Ashley often got lost in the moment watching her wife and daughter._

_She cleared her throat gently and began to sing softly as she moved to kneel beside the rocking chair so she could rest her hand on her daughter's back, over her wife's hand. Ashley hummed a few bars and started to sing,_

"_You don't need no friends  
Get back your faith again  
You have the power to believe  
Another dissident  
Take back your evidence  
It has no power to deceive_

I'll believe it when I see it, for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven  
I look at my daughter, and I believe.  
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth  
I can see the sunset and I perceive

I sit with them all night  
Everything they say is right  
But in the morning they were wrong  
I'll be right by your side  
Come hell or water high  
Down any road you choose to roam

I'll believe it when I see it for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven  
I look at my daughter, and I believe.  
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth  
I can see the sunset and I perceive, yeah

Darling, I believe, Oh Lord  
Sometimes it's hard to breathe, Lord  
At the bottom of the sea, yeah yeah

I'll believe it when I see it for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven  
I look at my daughter, and I believe.  
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth  
I can see the sunset and I perceive

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven  
I look at my daughter, and I believe."

_Ashley finished singing and smiled down at their daughter as she slept peacefully against her mother's breast. Spencer bit her lip and leaned over slightly to kiss her wife lovingly. Ashley smiled adoringly at her wife and daughter and carefully took the sleeping baby from her wife._

_She walked carefully over to the crib and placed their little girl down to sleep. She made sure the covers were right and then checked the baby monitor to ensure it was on. She kissed her fingers before laying them on her daughter's cheek._

_She felt a warm pair of arms circle her waist and leaned back into the familiar body of her wife. She sighed in contentment and intertwined their fingers over her stomach. She felt so much love for the woman holding her and the tiny baby in the crib she thought she would just burst._

_[End flashback]_

Spencer chucked and leaned back against the pillows in her bed, "Wow, yeah those first few months with Hannah were a steep learning curve for us, but it was so worth it. I wouldn't trade those sleepless months for anything. I never realised how much love I was capable of until I had you and the kids, I thank God every day for all of you."

Ashley smiled sadly and leaned forward to cup her wife's cheek in her palm, "And I thank him every day for you. I love you Spencer, so much."

Spencer's sad smile mirrored her wife's as she whispered, "I love you too."

They kept their eyes locked, expressing more in their silence then most people could with words.

**Song used in this chapter**

**Heaven by Live**_  
_


	28. Day Out Of Days

**Thank you all for reviewing, it means so much!**

hphglover – If anything is going to give her strength its her family. The end is fast approaching!

mutt009 – Hehe yeah the are pretty mesmerizing!

domino lavendel, hugbuddy13 – thanks! I was listening to Heaven by Live (which was in the chapter) and it inspired that flashback. I wanted a sweet moment for them

bethers85 – This chapter will show a little of how Ashley is coping, hope you like it

freakanatomy – Thank you!

Shanemmac16 – Thanks, I don't want her to die either, but I am not giving the story away so you'll have to read on to find out

WillowOn3 – Yeah I felt the flashback was needed to break up the drama somewhat. As the end nears the drama is going to increase, obviously!

**Usual disclaimer – SoN is not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight – Day Out Of Days**

Ashley opened the front door of her in-laws' and came face to face with her little sister. "Hey Ky, what are you doing here?"

"Well I dropped Emma off at her dance class and thought I would come and see my favourite big sister!" Kyla said with a giddy smile.

"I'm your only sister dipshit, but come on in. Paula and Arthur have just taken the kids to soccer with Clay and I was about to get everything ready for later when we go to the hospital to see Spence," Ashley said as she led her sister into the Carlin's kitchen.

"Yeah I know Paula called me and said you'd be here by yourself," Kyla admitted, taking a seat across the counter from her sister who flicked on the coffee maker.

"Ok then, can I assume there is a specific reason that you are here this early on a Saturday morning?" Ashley asked on a sigh as she pulled out a pair of mugs and set them out on the counter. She could already tell this was going to be a conversation she really did not want to have.

Kyla ran her hand through her wavy dark brown hair and let out a little sigh, she should have known Ashley would see right through her! "Well, uh I'm just here to see how you're doing?" she stammered, almost flinching under the unwavering look on her sister's face.

"Well I'm doing as well as I can Ky, not much more to say than that really," Ashley all but snapped as she began pouring them each a cup of coffee. She added the cream and sugar (to Kyla's, Ashley took hers very black) while Kyla fumbled around trying to figure out what to say to her stubborn older sister.

"Yeah there is plenty more to say Ash. You are going through something I can't even begin to imagine and my heart breaks for you, Spencer and the kids. I wish there was something I could do to help, but there isn't and all I can think is that maybe it would do you some good to talk about how you feel. You shoulder so much and act so strong and I worry about you," Kyla rambled softly, almost afraid to look into her sister's big brown eyes.

Ashley slid the cup of coffee across the counter and sighed deeply as she took a seat and sipped from her own cup. She ran her hand over her tired eyes and met her sister's concerned expression, "I'm doing the best I can Ky. I'm being strong because I have to be, they need me."

"I get that Ash, I do. But how are _you_ doing? That's what I'm asking," Kyla said with a sad frown.

Ashley scoffed a little and spat out, "My wife is in hospital being treated for a terminal illness that might kill her. She is losing hope every day and becoming sicker and sicker so how the fuck do you think I am? I could lose her Kyla, not just in the she went away terms but in the she could actually DIE kind of way!"

Kyla looked at her sister in horror as Ashley clamped a hand over her mouth and started to sob. Kyla rose from her seat and raced around the counter to take her older sister into her arms. Ashley gripped the collar of her sister's shirt and bawled into her shoulder. Kyla rubbed her back soothingly as whispered softly to try and calm down her distraught sister.

They sat like that for a long time, Kyla gently rubbing her sister's back while Ashley cried out the pain and fears she had been fighting to keep inside. A person can only be strong for so long before they crumble.

Ashley pulled back and sniffled a little as she reached for the box of tissues Paula always kept on the counter. She mopped up her tears and blew her nose before turning to her sister, "Ky I can't afford to be breaking down like this, the kids can't see me falling apart and neither can Spencer. They are all suffering so much and they need me to be their rock. This is killing me. I keep thinking that I am going to wake up and find out this is all some cruel nightmare. I'll be at home in my bed with my wife snuggled in my arms. My kids will come running in and launch themselves into our arms and everything will be ok."

Kyla felt her own tears starting to rise in her eyes. She hated what this was doing to Ashley, not to mention the whole family. They all did what they could, taking it in turns to help look after Hannah and Lucas, going to visit Spencer as often as the blonde would allow (she didn't like people seeing her the way she was) and just trying to support the family. It was difficult though and they were all suffering.

"Ash, you can break down if you need to, anytime you need to I am going to be here for you. I can't even begin to understand what you're feeling or how you're coping. If it was me I don't think I would be able to get up out of bed. I admire you for how strong you have been and it makes my heart soar to see how much love there is between you and Spencer. I love Aiden, but the love we have can't even compare to what you two share. So I know this is killing you and I will do whatever it takes to help you through this,' Kyla murmured as she pulled her sister closer to her.

Ashley swallowed hard and swiped at the tears on her cheeks, "I can't live without her Kyla, I just can't. My life didn't really begin until I met her and it will end the moment I lose her. Spencer is the good parent, she is the responsible one, the logical one. I am just fumbling around without her. She is the light of my world and I can't exist without her!"

Ashley choked a little as sobs began to wrack her body violently. Kyla once again pulled her older sister into her arms and rocked her gently as she cried. "Ash you are selling yourself short, you are a wonderful parent and the last couple of months have shown how responsible and caring you are when it comes to your family. You are handling a horrible situation admirably. And I know we have all said this too you, but I want you to hear me," Kyla paused and grasped Ashley's chin to make her meet her eyes.

"Ashley your wife is one of the strongest women I know. Spencer is and has always been a fighter and I don't see her ever giving up. She may fumble a little here and there but when it comes down to it she will keep fighting on. She loves you and those kids more than anything in existence, you say she is your world but you are _hers_! You need to believe in her Ashley, put your faith in your wife because she has earned it." Kyla said softly, but with conviction.

Ashley nodded and took a deep, shuddering breath. She pulled her little sister in for another hug and let herself cry.

They stayed like that until Ashley's tears ran dry, Kyla gently rubbing her back and murmuring soothingly. They pulled apart when they heard the front door open and the excited shouts of Hannah and Lucas. Ashley wiped her eyes and flashed her sister a shaky smile, "Well time to be strong again."

Spencer gazed out the window of her hospital room and sighed. It was another beautiful, sunny day in Los Angeles and she was stuck inside. She would give anything to just feel the sun on her face and feel the breeze. She hadn't been outside since she had been admitted and the constant being indoors was starting to get to her.

Spencer missed being outside, she missed the ocean. Every time things have overwhelmed her Spencer had run to the outdoors, something about it soothed her. And now she had been couped up inside for far too long. She was moments away from going totally stir crazy.

She heard a familiar knock on the door and looked up to find Ashley and Judy standing on the threshold grinning widely with a wheelchair.

Spencer looked at them quizzically and asked, "So what's with the chair, we making a break for it?"

Ashley chuckled and shrugged, "Something like that."

"Huh?" Spencer said with a confused head tilt. Judy laughed and let Ashley explain.

"Well I have gotten permission from your lovely doctor to take you out for the afternoon, on the promise that Judy here will accompany us and that the second you start to get tired or feel crappy we bring you back inside," Ashley said with an excited grin.

Spencer looked at both women, trying to gage if they were bullshitting her. Seeing nothing but sincerity and excitement Spencer let a huge grin span her lips, "Well ok then! Let's get the hell out of here!"

With Ashley and Judy's help Spencer changed into a pair of baggy black yoga pants and a dusty blue long sleeve shirt. They made her add a warm grey cardigan and then a blue beanie that matched her shirt. Once she had her slippers on Ashley helped her into the waiting wheel chair and then pushed them from the room.

Spencer was humming with excitement, she had missed being outside so this was a real treat for her.

Ashley pushed them through the front doors of the hospital and then paused at her wife's insistence so Spencer could take in the warm breeze and the sounds of the outdoors. Smiling lovingly down at her wife Ashley pushed the wheelchair around the side of the hospital towards a lovely little court yard full of colourful flowers.

Spencer let out an excited little gasp at the beautiful garden around them, making Ashley chuckle happily. She pushed the wheelchair further into the garden and then heard Spencer let out another happy little gasp.

In front of them, spread over four picnic blankets, was the whole family. Paula and Arthur sat the closest to them with Hannah and Lucas beside them. The next blanket held Glen, Chelsea and their children Clay and Tahlia. On the next blanket Aiden and Kyla sat with their eight year old, Emma, who looked a tad bored by just sitting around.

Ashley wheeled her wife closer and beamed over at Judy as they saw Spencer's who demeanour change. The sadness and almost hopelessness that had hung over her in the hospital was gone and in its place was a happiness and joy that simply radiated from Spencer.

"Wow, you guys did all this?" Spencer asked as her eyes flew over her family and the huge array of food arranged on the forth picnic blanket.

"Well technically Dad did the food and Ashley got us all to be here, but the actual getting up and getting dressed then driving here? That was all us!" Glen said with a beaming smile. He stepped to the side and Oliver bounded over to greet his mistress. His tail was wagging so fast it was a wonder it didn't fall off.

Spencer showered the puppy in loving pats and kisses before looking over at her family who were all grinning at her happily.

Spencer returned the grin whole-heartedly and opened her arms for her two kids to come running over. Hannah beat Lucas there by a matter of seconds and wrapped her mother up in a warm hug. Lucas was cuddled up to her the second Hannah stepped back. Spencer held him close and kissed his messy blonde curls. Oliver barked excitedly and bounced around beside his owner.

Once Lucas was released Spencer was ambushed by her nieces and nephew. Clay kissed her sweetly on the cheek and lifted Tahlia up so she could do the same. Spencer pulled the little girl onto her lap and ran her fingers through her black curls while the little girl looked up at her with adoring big brown eyes. Emma laughed at her little cousin and then wrapped her arms around her Aunt. She had always liked Aunty Spencer, she would let Emma and Hannah play dress up in the costumes she had from the movies she'd made.

"It's so good to see you kids! I missed you all so much," Spencer said with a huge grin.

"We missed you too Aunty Spencer," Little Clay said as he helped his little sister off his Aunt's knee.

"Yeah we did miss you lots an' lots Aunty Spencer!" Tahlia lisped cutely, earning her a chuckle and a kiss on the head from her Aunt.

Emma just leaned in again and kissed her Aunt on the cheek. She flashed Spencer a wide grin that was very much so a Davies grin, and ran over to sit with Hannah and Lucas.

Spencer chuckled at her nieces and nephew fondly. They were good kids, although Emma was going to be a lot like Ashley as a teenager...a fact that kind of scared all the adults in the family.

Kyla came over next and wrapped her arms around her sister in law and held her close, "God it's good to see you Spence, Ashley is so not normal when you aren't around!"

"And she's normal when I am?" Spencer teased, laughing at the look of mock indignation on her wife's face.

Kyla giggled and shrugged, "Good point, well anyway it's awesome to see you."

Spencer returned the sentiment and then got almost crushed by the bear hug Aiden bestowed on her. "Jesus Aid, let her breathe! You go all Lenny and break my wife and then you and I will have issues," Ashley called as she saw her wife inches from being suffocated.

Aiden sheepishly released her and grinned boyishly down at her, "Sorry Spence, just missed ya."

"You too meat-head, you too!" Spencer joked, earning a laugh from the adults and looks of confusion from the kids.

"But Dad your head isn't made of meat is it?" Emma asked in confusion, causing all the adults to crack up laughing again.

Once the laughter died down Spencer greeted Chelsea and her parents and then Glen. Her big brother moved to her side and knelt down beside the wheelchair. He grinned cheekily at her and pulled his little sister into a tender hug. Spencer snuggled into her brother's embrace and sighed in contentment. She really did love her dopey big brother.

Glen pulled back and winked at her, "So how about we give you some food which isn't the shitty hospital crap you've been eating lately.

Spencer was finally back on solid food and keeping much of it down, they were still pumping nutrients into her intravenously though.

Spencer nodded enthusiastically and Glen moved to get her a plate. All the food had been approved by Judy ahead of time to make sure Spencer could actually eat it. Ashley pushed the wheelchair a little closer and helped Spencer move from the chair to sit on the picnic blanket. She situated herself behind Spencer, with her legs encasing her sides, to give the blonde something to prop herself up against. Oliver trotted over and dropped down beside Spencer, resting his shaggy head on her lap so he could gaze up at her adoringly.

Glen delivered the plate of delicious smelling and looking food and took a seat next to Tahlia to help her eat her own food.

Arthur very kindly put together a plate of food for Ashley, knowing that in her efforts to make sure Spencer was looked after she would neglect to actually feed herself. It had been a common theme since Spencer had gotten sick. He had taken it upon himself to make sure she ate at least one nutritious meal a day.

The family all dug into their food with gusto, Arthur really was the greatest cook of all time, even Judy agreed after making them all promise not to tell her wife Gale. Ashley beamed happily when she saw her wife actually finish an entire plate of food, while sneaking little morsels to Oliver, and then ask for seconds. That had not happened in months.

"You sure you want seconds kiddo? You don't want to save room for the homemade brownies I have stashed away?" Arthur teased with a twinkle in his big blue eyes.

Spencer's eyes widened ecstatically, "Seriously? Brownies? It's been so long since I had a brownie...ok I'll wait for brownies and I know Ash will because as she famously once said 'I love...these brownies!"

Ashley rolled her eyes, "Am I _ever _going to live that one down!" Spencer pretended to think about it for a moment, the most adorable look of concentration on her face, and then smirked and shook her head making everyone laugh.

Ashley chuckled and wrapped her arms snugly around her wife's waist and whispered in her ear, "As if you didn't know what I really meant!"

Spencer giggled and whispered back, "Yeah I may have had a slight idea." Ashley kissed her cheek and held her close as they watched the kids start planning a game of tag, which being played straight after lunch was going to give them all a stitch, but they couldn't be dissuaded. Oliver bounded after them excitedly, his tail never ceasing its frantic wagging.

The adults sat back on the picnic blankets watching the kids run around, all of the older kids helping little Tahlia out. "God how the hell do they have so much energy?" Aiden said with a shake of the head.

"Are you kidding? The last picnic we all had as a family you and Ashley were worse than the children!" Spencer said incredulously.

"Hey that is so not true!" Ashley said in defence of herself and Aiden. Everyone else just looked at her in disbelief. "What? It isn't?"

Spencer chuckled and snuggled back against her wife, "Uh yeah it is Sweetheart, but that's ok I knew you were a big kid when I married you and I love you in _spite_ of that."

Ashley rolled her eyes and kissed her wife gently on the cheek, "Thanks Spence, you always know what to say to make me feel good!"

Everyone else laughed, enjoying the banter between the two women. This banter had been pretty common place before Spencer got sick, but had become less and less as she got sicker.

"Oh yes that was a good day, except for you of course Chels," Paula said with a grin.

"Yeah lugging around a 1 year old who decided that was the perfect day to projectile vomit all over me that was a fun one!" Chelsea deadpanned, earning a laugh from the men and a few sympathetic smiles from the mothers in the group.

"Yep and then Aiden and Ashley got the brilliant idea to challenge the children to a game of soccer, now I forget Aid and Ash...who won that game?" Kyla asked with an evil little smirk.

Ashley just glared while Aiden mumbled, "Ok so the kids, but they totally cheated."

"Aiden! They did not cheat, you're just ashamed because you got your ass handed to you by a 4, 5, 6 and 7 year old," Spencer said smugly.

"She's got a point honey," Kyla said, struggling to hold in her laughter.

"They so did cheat! With their littleness and speediness, they totally cheated!" Ashley added with a pout on her lips.

Spencer laughed and ran her thumb over the protruding lip as she said, "Oh my poor baby." Ashley's pout deepened and everyone, including Aiden, chuckled.

Spencer turned her head and kissed her wife on her pouting lips, Ashley's reason for pouting was instantly forgotten as her face broke out into a beautiful smile against her wife's lips. Spencer broke the kiss and rested her head against her wife's neck. They both sighed in contentment and then giggled softly to each other.

The kids all soon ambled over complaining of stitches, to which they all got vigorous 'I told you sos' from their respective parents. Once the kids all had cups of water and were seated with their parents Arthur pulled out his homemade brownies and distributed them, saving the biggest one for Spencer.

She beamed up at him and snapped up the brownie that her wife was already eyeing off, having already devoured her own. She glared at her wife teasingly and began to eat her brownie, savouring the deliciousness.

Ashley all but drooled as she watched her wife enjoy her brownie a little too much and wished that she was that brownie. Ashley inched her hand up, fully intending to steal a little off the end of her wife's brownie, when Oliver got up from his place at Spencer's side and growled at her in warning.

Ashley dropped her hand and looked at the big puppy in shock while Spencer just laughed and patted the puppy's golden fur, "Good boy Ollie! Protecting Mommy's brownie from mean Ashley. Good Oliver!"

Ashley stuck her tongue out at the golden retriever who had retaken his seat beside Spencer as soon as the threat to his mistress' brownie was averted. "Damn dog," Ashley muttered, earning her an elbow to the ribs and a chastising look from her wife.

The rest of the afternoon passed with a lot of laughter, hugs and smiles. For that entire afternoon it was as if they all forgot that Spencer was sick. The sadness that had been hanging over them since the day she was diagnosed fell away and they just enjoyed being together as a family.

After the goodbyes were said Ashley wheeled her wife back inside the hospital with a sad smile on her face. They were silent as they made their way along the all too familiar hall ways that would lead them to Spencer's room.

Once they were inside Ashley helped her wife change into some comfy pyjamas and tucked her into her bed. Spencer smiled lovingly at her wife and patted the bed beside her. Ashley moved to take a seat and then pulled her wife into her arms. Spencer rested her head against her wife's chest and let out a contented sigh.

"Thank you for a great day Ashley," Spencer murmured into the darkened room.

Ashley lightly stroked her finger along Spencer's cheek and said softly, "My pleasure my love, I'm glad you had a good day."

"I love you Ash," Spencer said in a tiny voice.

Ashley kissed her wife's forehead and tightened her hold on the fragile blonde, "I love you too, so very much."

Ashley held her wife close and soon sleep took the blonde. Ashley held her through the night, both of them smiling as they slumbered.


	29. Hope

**Thank you to all**

imaferrari – Thank you. The family time was needed I felt. The brownies line was always my favourite from the show so I had to use it!

hphglover, freakanatomy, norar, domino lavendel, hugbuddy13, rachel hardy, ilovemyself26, Shanemmac16 – Thanks, I figured we all needed a break from the drama

bethers85 – Thanks so much, the brownie line is one of my favourites from the show plus I love me some brownies!

mutt009 – Thank you. Oliver is actually based on a real dog. He was my puppy who I only go to have for two day before he was put to sleep. He started having seizures and nothing could be done for him. I got him Christmas eve and he died on boxing day.

WillowOn3 – Yeah being cooped up inside is no fun at all. Yeah the updates are coming fast as the end approaches!

vox80 – Thanks! Glad you found the story and sorry it made you cry!

**Two updates to go, the end is seriously close.**

**Usual disclaimer, SoN is not mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine – Hope**

Ashley was awakened from her rather deep sleep by the shrill ringing of her cell phone. She stretched on the sofa in her in law's living room, where she had been sleeping since Spencer had been admitted to hospital, and flicked her eyes to the clock on the DVD player, four am! There was really only one reason she would get a call this early, something was wrong and seeing as her kids were asleep upstairs it had to be her wife.

She snapped open her phone and brought it to her ear, "Hello?" she answered anxiously.

"Hello Ashley, this is Dr. Gratis. Look I am so sorry to call you like this, but you need to get to the hospital as soon as you can," The elderly doctor said hurriedly, a slight edge of sadness in her usually calm voice.

"What? I uh...what's going on?" Ashley stammered, her heart racing a million miles an hour and tears starting to fill her eyes as fear took a strangle hold of her heart.

"Spencer has taken a turn for the worse Ashley, a few hours ago she has been coughing a bit and now it's progressed to pneumonia. Look I'll give you more information when you get here, but you really need to get to the hospital immediately," The doctor said in a strained voice.

"I'm on my way, tell her I'm on my way!" Ashley hung up the phone before the doctor could respond. She raced to the downstairs bathroom and splashed cold water on her face before hurriedly dressing in the clothes she had worn the day before.

It was now three days since the family picnic and Spencer had been doing well. She had been in high spirits and the side effects of her chemo treatments seemed to be lessening somewhat for her, all that had seemed to be wrong was a niggling little cough. So to get the call that she was really sick was like a kick to the guts.

Ashley jogged upstairs and hesitated only momentarily before knocking on the door to Paula and Arthur's bedroom. A few seconds later a very sleepy looking Arthur opened the door. As soon as he saw his daughter in law's face, he was instantly very awake.

"Ashley, what's going on?" He asked in trepidation.

"I uh, I just got a call from the hospital, Spencer has pneumonia and they want me there right away. If the kids are looking for me, please tell them I went to see Spencer, but don't tell them she's worse. I'll deal with that when we have to," Ashley choked out as she fought the urge to sob brokenly in her father in laws arms.

Arthur looked stunned and just nodded before being shoved out of the way as Paula shot past him, still pulling on her shirt. She grabbed Ashley's hand and dragged the brunette after her. All she had needed to hear was the hospital called and she was up throwing on clothes. The hospital calling at 4am was never a good thing.

Paula led the younger woman to her car and then sped off towards the hospital before Ashley had even gotten her seat belt on. They reached the hospital in record time and then both women bolted into the lobby and up to the oncology ward.

In the hallway outside Spencer's room they found Dr. Gratis and Judy talking in hushed whispers. As soon as Dr. Gratis saw the approaching women she sent Judy off and walked towards them quickly.

"Ashley, Paula, thank you for getting here so quickly. I'm sorry I had to call you in like this," The doctor said tiredly.

"No that's ok, can you tell us what happened?" Paula asked as she gripped Ashley's hand in hers firmly.

"Well like I told Ashley we knew Spencer had a cough and then noticed it had a become a rather nasty cough this afternoon. By late this evening she was running a very high fever. We have tried to bring it down all night, but aren't having much success. She has contracted pneumonia," the doctor said in a sad tone.

Paula closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath.

Ashley looked back and forth between the two women waiting for someone to explain this to her in words that actually made sense. She knew pneumonia was bad, but in light of the cancer Spencer had it wasn't nearly as bad...right?

Ashley bit her lip and then choked out, "I don't get it, what's so bad about her having pneumonia, it's not like her cancer is worse?"

Paula let a single tears roll down her cheek, she wished she didn't get it. She wished she didn't see the gravity of this situation which had just gone from disastrous to catastrophic!

Dr. Gratis motioned them to a row of seats not too far from Spencer's room and the three of them took a seat, Ashley in between the two older women. Dr. Gratis slid off her wire rimmed glasses and locked her eyes on Ashley's. "Ashley pneumonia is one of the most common causes of death in leukaemia patients. Usually getting pneumonia is serious, but when it hits a cancer patient like Spencer, who's body is already weakened and straining from all the treatment its been put through then it can be life threatening," The doctor said softly.

Ashley stared straight ahead of her and began breathing fast and shallow. This was too much, there was no capacity left in her to cope with this latest development. No, this couldn't happen...it wasn't fair. Spencer had already suffered enough! They all had. This was bullshit.

Ashley jumped to her feet and began pacing the hallway as the two older women looked on sadly. Ashley wrung her hands anxiously in front of her and struggled to keep her tears at bay. This was a blow she just hadn't seen coming.

Ashley paced away from the doctor and her mother in law and then spun to face them and said desperately, "So what do we do? What do we do to save her?"

Dr. Gratis sighed and stood up beside the now trembling brunette, "Well we are giving her medication and working to bring her fever down. We will do everything we can Ashley, I promise you that. Now the medication is making her pretty loopy at the moment and very drowsy. The next twelve hours are critical, if we can lower her fever then we have a chance of getting her through this."

Ashley stared mutely at the doctor and tried to absorb the words that had just been spoken. They could very well have been said in Korean for all the good it did Ashley. All she knew was that her wife was possibly dying and there was nothing she could do about it. She looked over at her mother in law who looked stricken and then turned and strode into Spencer's room.

She found her wife hooked up to yet more machines and IVs and noticed that she now had an oxygen mask on as well. Ashley swallowed back the fresh tears waiting to fall and took a seat on the edge of the bed. She took her wife's hand in hers and gasped when she felt how hot and clammy the skin was. Spencer was definitely running a very high fever.

Ashley sat a vigil by Spencer's beside all night long. She did not move an inch. Paula came and went with the doctor, she would have stayed but recognised her daughter in law's need to be alone with her wife.

Spencer slept fitfully, tossing and turning, mumbling deliriously and sweating profusely. The nurses were checking on her constantly, waiting for any change in her condition.

Ashley sat stock still, just holding her wife's hand and sending up silent pleas that her wife would get through all this.

As the sun rose, shining into the slightly parted curtains, Ashley leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the clammy brow of her wife. She reached up and gently cupped the smooth cheek and whispered, "Spencer, please don't stop fighting. I need you to keep fighting."

Paula stood in the doorway and watched the broken brunette as tears poured from her own blue eyes. Paula took a deep breath and swiped at her tears before moving into the room. She stood behind Ashley and rested her hand on the younger woman's shoulder.

"I just spoke to Arthur and the kids are good, just woke up and now he's getting them ready for school," Paula murmured softly.

Ashley nodded and reached up to grasp the hand on her shoulder. She didn't have any words to say to the older blonde that would be able to express how she was feeling. Paula understood that without having to hear a word and just squeezed her shoulder gently as a means of telling the younger woman that she was there.

It was a long morning for them. Spencer remained unconscious, tossing fitfully as the fever raged inside her already worn out body. The doctor kept coming in and then whispering in hushed tones to the nurses, none of which was doing anything to sooth the fear and pain inside Ashley and Paula.

Just before noon Paula left to call Arthur and the rest of the family to update them on the situation. They had all stayed away from the hospital on Paula's insistence, much to their protests. The only way they had agreed to stay away was on the promise that they all be kept informed.

Ashley rose from the bed and grabbed Spencer's Ipod and speakers. She turned it on and just hit play, figuring she would just play whatever her wife had been listen to, hoping the music would stir her wife to wake up.

As the song started playing she fought the urge to scream and cry, this sounded very like Spencer giving up to her.

_Wish I were with you  
I couldn't stay  
Every direction  
Leads me away  
Pray for tomorrow  
But for today_

All I want is to be home

Stand in the mirror  
You look just the same  
Just lookin' for shelter  
From cold and the pain  
Someone to cover  
Safe from the rain

All I want is to be home

Echoes and silence  
Patience and grace  
All of these moments  
I'll never replace  
No fear of my heart  
Absence of faith

All I want is to be home  
Ooh  
All I want is to be home

People I've loved  
I have no regrets  
Some I remember  
Some I forget  
Some of them living  
Some of them dead

All I want is to be home

Ashley hit stop on the Ipod, she was scared to hear the other music her wife was listening to. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried desperately not to see that song as her wife's goodbye.

Ashley stared down at the sleeping face of her wife, willing her to wake up. Ashley sighed tiredly and reached up to cup her wife's cheek in her palm as she thought of happier times. She smiled sadly and whispered, "Do you remember when we got engaged? That night so did not go according to plan did it? I mean I had everything all planned out and then it all got ballsed up."

Ashley let out a little chuckle at the memory, "I had the whole night planned out. I was going to cook you dinner at the loft and then take you to the beach, the same place where you first told me you liked girls and then under the stars I was going to get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. Well that so wasn't what actually happened now was it?"

Ashley gave her wife's had a squeeze and continued, "Well I started cooking and then you were running late, there was a catastrophe with your student film and you couldn't get away so by the time you got home dinner was ruined and I was mightily pissed off. I had been so nervous about the proposal that I lashed out at you. I felt so bad about it later. You tried to explain and I was just a bitch to you. In the end you got fed up and told me you were sick of me not supporting you when all you did was support me."

Ashley shook her head at the memory, "You were sort of right, back then I often got jealous of how much time college and your work experience and internships were taking up. I missed you and instead of just telling you that I stopped being as supportive as I should have been. After you yelled at me you pulled a velvet ring box from your pocket and chucked it at my head, thank God I have good reflexes or that thing would have hit me in the eye. You glared at me and snapped, 'if I didn't love you and want to be with you then why was I planning to propose to you this weekend?' before I could respond you turned on your heel and bolted from the loft."

Ashley leaned in and kissed her wife on the cheek, then nose before she continued the story, "I was so stunned it took me a moment before I took off after you. I reached the underground car park just in time to see you speed off in your car. Without thinking I jumped in the Porsche and followed you. I shouldn't have been surprised where you went, you always went to the beach when you were upset or overwhelmed. I pulled up next to your car just in time to see you disappear under the pier. I ran after you with the rings in my pocket, both the one you got me and the one I'd gotten you."

A fond smile covered the brunette's face as she recalled that night, "I walked up to you and found you sitting, hugging your knees to your chest while you let the tears roll silently down your cheeks. You were so heart breakingly beautiful that night, and every night before and after. I fell to the sand and your side and told you I was sorry and that I love you. You let me pull you into my arms and I just held you until the tears lessened. Then I smiled at you and pulled out both ring boxes. You looked at ne confused and I just beamed at you before saying, 'Spencer Carlin I have loved you since the moment I met you and I am going to love you forever. Eternity will never be enough for us. You are the one, my soul mate and other half and tonight I am going to ask you a question I hope you'll say yes to, Spencer will you marry me?'"

Ashley paused again and watched her wife carefully, she could have sworn she saw her eye lids start to flutter open. When she saw no more movement she continued, "I opened the ring box and you looked at me as though you didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so you did both. You launched yourself into my arms, making me fall back in the sand with you on top of me...a place I rather liked. You began peppering my face with frantic kisses while you said yes over and over again."

Ashley beamed, her memory taking her back to the exact moment Spencer had said yes. It was a euphoric feeling beyond anything she had experienced until that moment and only topped by three moments since, their wedding and the births of each of their children.

"Once you'd calmed down slightly I got you to stand up and then I got down on one knee, making you laugh and roll your eyes. I slipped the engagement ring onto your finger and you just stood there staring at it with a huge smile and tears on your cheeks. Then you pulled me up so I was standing beside you and you kissed me. Once you broke the kiss you dropped to your knees and grabbed my left hand in yours. You smiled up at me with so much love I lost the ability to form words. You said, 'I love you Ashley Davies, in ways that transcend anything I have ever experienced. I want my forever to be with you so I need you to agree to be my wife because a life without you is not a life I am interested in living,'" Ashley bit her lip and then kissed her wife's cheek again.

"I smiled down at you and even though you knew I was going to say yes you looked so nervous. It was adorable. I pulled you to your feet and crushed our lips together as I said a very determined yes. We kissed until we were both breathless and then you slipped the ring you brought for me onto my left hand. We spent the rest of that night in each other's arms under the pier. We talked, held each other in silence and made love as the tide rushed over us. It was a magical night," Ashley would have continued, but the blue eyes she loved so dearly began to flutter open.

"Spence? Spence baby are you awake?" Ashley said softly as she leaned closer to her wife.

Spencer let out a little whimper and fixed her eyes on the brown ones above her, finding comfort in the familiar gaze. She weakly squeezed the hand clutching her own and fought to stay conscious as blackness crept up on her once again.

Ashley reached over and hit the call button. She jumped to her feet, still holding her wife's hand as the doctor and a few nurses rushed in.

Ashley let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. Things weren't great but her wife was awake, that was enough to give her a fresh surge of hope.

**Song used in this chapter**

**Home by The Foo Fighters**


	30. The End

**I am so thankful to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this fic. Many of you have taken the time to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences and I am honoured to have been able to read your words.**

NORTH0314, norar, freakanatomy, Rachel hardy, WillowOn3, somthgIlike2do, Shanemmac16, bethers85, 2bz2breading, kiangs, hugbuddy13, domino lavendel, hphglover and imaferrari – All my thanks!

**I have sought the entire way to tell this story truthfully while being respectful. Many people have mentioned how depressing this fic is, it was certainly never intended to be a light hearted piece. I set out to tell a story of a family facing something terrible.**

_**It's always the darkest right before the sun rises...**_

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Chapter Thirty – The End**

It turns out the small surge of hope Ashley felt on her wife's awakening was short lived. In the week that followed Spencer's diagnosis of pneumonia she had barely been conscious for more than an hour or two at a time. Her body seemed to be shutting down.

When she was awake the medication often made her pretty much delusional and disorientated. It was terrifying and distressing for everyone who saw her in that state, but none more so than for Ashley. She had refused to leave her wife's side. She had spoken to the children several times a day on the phone, but could not bring herself to leave her wife.

If you asked her Ashley couldn't voice it, but deep down she felt like her time with her wife was running out and she couldn't bare the thought of not spending every last moment by her side, even if Spencer was unconscious or too out of it to know she was there. Ashley knew and that was enough for her.

The children had picked up on the fact that something was very, very wrong and spent every day begging to see their mother. Ashley had finally conceded and allowed them to come to the hospital with Paula and Arthur to see Spencer. They arrived while Spencer was unconscious and both had to be carried out of the hospital room within minutes because they became so upset.

Ashley was torn, she didn't know whether she should tell them to say their goodbyes or keep telling them to have hope. It was hard to preach something she could no longer do herself. Every day since she'd gotten that phone call to come to the hospital she had been saying goodbye to her wife.

The doctors and nurses all assured her Spencer was in no pain, that the medication they had her on was preventing her from feeling any pain at all. It did not comfort Ashley in the slightest. She knew that Spencer would be hurting, whether it was physically or emotionally she would be hurting.

Ashley had sat by her wife's side, talking to her. Sometimes she recalled memories of their lives together, sometimes she told Spencer stories from her childhood, the netherworld before they had met, sometimes she read to her from magazines or books and other times she sang songs softly under her breath.

Throughout the week various family members visited, each reacting differently. Glen reacted with broken-hearted grief that manifested itself in anger. He pushed everyone away and hated a world that would take away both his siblings.

Kyla was pure grief. She sobbed over the still blonde until Ashley had begged her to leave, not being able to stand the way her sister was grieving like Spencer was already dead.

Aiden was stoic. He seemed to be having silent conversations with Spencer or maybe even God in his head. He held the blonde's hand and refused to say a word. He never cried, never smiled, he just watched her.

Chelsea was the most hopeful. She talked to Spencer as though she was awake, even making plans that included the blonde. Ashley found Chelsea's presence calming, almost giving her hope.

Paula and Arthur were the most heart-breaking. They were both so lost. It was like they didn't know how to be, how to act in the face of this. No parent should bury a child and they had already had to do that once, doing it a second time would destroy them. Paula felt that as a doctor she should be able to cope with what was happening. She was surrounded by death and disease every day, but everything changes once it's your own child lying in that hospital bed.

Ashley was in her usual position in the chair beside Spencer's bed. She had a copy of Pride and Prejudice open and was reading aloud to her wife. Ashley had never been a fan of Jane Austen but Spencer definitely was. Dr. Gratis paused in the door way for a moment, not looking forward to delivering the news she was about to give.

She stepped in the room and the brunette looked up to see who had come in. The doctor took in the exhausted, drained expression of the young woman and felt sick. It never failed to affect her to watch the far reaching impacts of cancer on everyone in the patient's life.

"Hi Doc, what's going on?" Ashley asked tiredly. Something in the doctor's expression told her this was going to be a particularly hard conversation.

"I wanted to talk to you about Spencer," the doctor paused and Ashley nodded at her to continue, "Well it's bad Ashley, she is not responding to the medication, her fever isn't breaking or lowering despite our best efforts. We are doing all we can, but things aren't looking good."

Ashley slowly closed the book on her lap and turned her eyes to look at the face of the woman she had loved since she was 16 years old and furiously blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill. "Say it, I won't believe it unless you actually say it," Ashley choked out.

The doctor nodded and said quietly, "She's dying Ashley. Spencer is dying and while we are doing everything we can, she will probably not survive the week."

Ashley closed her eyes, her body frozen in a purgatory of unimaginable pain. Intellectually she had known her wife was dying, but hearing the words was like being repeatedly punched in the guts. She couldn't move, couldn't speak. She could only feel as her world crumbled around her.

Dr. Gratis could feel the pain coming off the younger woman in waves. She took a step closer and murmured, "I am so sorry Ashley, so very sorry."

Ashley nodded and opened her eyes to look down at her wife's still face. Spencer looked peaceful. Ashley moved her hand and rested it over the blonde's heart, finding comfort in the steady rhythm. Dr. Gratis slipped quietly from the room, she sensed that Ashley just wanted to be alone with her wife.

Ashley kept her hand over the steadily beating heart and let her tears fall violently in torrents so fast there were no separate tears, just a river. She leaned in and kissed her wife on the forehead, letting her lips linger over the warm skin. "Spencer, please wake up my darling. I don't know what to do here and I need you to tell me. I need you to tell me what I should do. We don't work unless we're together, you know this, so I need you to wake up and tell me what to do," she cried softly as her tears dripped onto her wife's pale cheeks.

Ashley cried until she fell asleep with her head sharing Spencer's pillow. It was very dark outside by the time she woke up, the feeling of a gentle hand running through her messy curls coaxing her into wakefulness.

Ashley raised her head and found herself looking into bloodshot, ocean blue eyes. Eyes that were so tired and filled with pain and also an air of defeat.

"Spence," Ashley whispered into the darkness.

Spencer forced a tiny smile onto her lips and husked out, "hey you."

Ashley moved to sit on the side of the bed and gave the hand still encased in hers a gentle squeeze, "You're awake."

"I am," Spencer paused, breaking their eye contact to stare out the window, "I heard what the doctor said earlier, I was just coming too."

"What? I don't know what you're talking about," Ashley stammered, so desperately not wanting to have this conversation. No one wants to have this conversation with someone they love and no one ever should have to.

The saddest fact of love is that ultimately it will end in loss, whether it's by breakup or death. Love ends in loss. So some may say it's not worth it, love is not worth the eventual pain. They're wrong. Love is life and without it you are merely existing, but not living.

Spencer searched the brown eyes before her and felt her heart shatter at the fear and anguish she found. "Don't Ashley, even if I hadn't heard her I would still know it. I'm dying Ash," Spencer whispered.

Ashley shook her head violently, she knew it was true but couldn't bear to hear those words cross Spencer's lips. "No Spencer, don't say that, please don't say that."

"But it's the truth my love. You think I want to die? Because I don't, I don't want to leave you and my babies. The thought of not getting to see my children grow up hurts more than anything I have ever experienced. I can't stand the thought that I won't get to grow old with you, that breaks my heart. But I am dying Ashley," Spencer choked out as tears started to fall from her eyes.

Ashley just cried harder and fought the urge to run until her lungs burned and her legs gave way. This was beyond her coping ability, she could not deal with this.

Spencer swallowed hard and struggled against the urge to just close her eyes, she felt certain that if she did she would not be waking up again. She fixed her eyes on the chocolate ones she had loved for so long and murmured, "I have loved you with all that I am and I will love you for always, even when I'm not here I will still be loving you."

"No Spence, please stop," Ashley begged as more tears fell from the eyes of both women.

"I know it's going to be hard, but I also know you are the strongest woman I have ever known and I know in my heart that you are going to be ok and that you will raise our children to be truly remarkable people. I just ask that you encourage them to be dreamers, I want them to strive for their dreams and to never settle. I want them to know how much I love them and how proud I am of the people they are going to grow up to be. I want them to remember me with happiness not sadness," Spencer murmured, her eyes swimming in tears as her voice became weaker and weaker.

Ashley stared at her, horrified and begged her to stop, "Spencer please stop saying goodbye, this is not goodbye. So don't you do that, don't you say your goodbyes. You are going to die an old woman wrapped in my arms. We will both go together in our sleep, you don't get to give up now! Please hold on Spencer, fight to stay with us!" By this point Ashley was sobbing desperately, her entire body convulsing.

Spencer looked brokenly up at her wife and whispered weakly as she slumped back against the pillows, "It hurts Ash, it just hurts all the time and I'm tired, so damn tired."

Ashley clutched Spencer's hand tightly and demanded, "No don't you give up, don't you dare! I can't live without you Spencer, you have to keep fighting. We can't lose you."

Spencer smiled sadly up at her wife and said so softly Ashley had to read her lips, "I have loved you all my life Ashley Davies, before I knew you I loved you. I will always love you." Spencer smiled lovingly at the brunette, her eyes conveying messages of devotion and love that were impossible to ignore. Spencer's eyes fluttered a little, but stayed open and then she started to cough harshly, her whole body wracking violently.

Ashley was on her feet in a second and called for the nurse as Spencer's eyes finally closed and she slipped into unconsciousness. The blonde's breathing became shallow and harsh, each breath sounding like it would be the last. Then the heart monitor flat lined, the terrifying shrill continuous beep enough to make Ashley want to tear at her hair and face in agony.

Ashley froze on the threshold of Spencer's room and then screamed. She screamed, a long animalistic screech of pure, unadulterated agony. A team of doctors raced into the room and to Spencer's side, all of them moving as quickly as they could to try and save her life.

In the chaos of activity Ashley was moved out of the way by one of the nurses as she continued to scream and cry loudly, begging her wife to stay with her and ordering the doctors to bring Spencer back to her. Everything was moving too fast. It was like Ashley just couldn't get a handle on anything going on around her. All she knew was that the event taking place in that hospital room were going to change her life forever.

Ashley could only hear the din of voices, the beep of the machines and the frantic movement. She could not decipher any meaning in it, besides the fact that Spencer was still lying motionless, as if she was asleep, and the doctors' tones were becoming increasingly panicked.

A defibrillator was brought out and Ashley winced as Dr. Gratis sent currents of electricity through her wife's body, making it rise up off the bed rather violently. Ashley clutched her hand over her heart, her fingers seeking out her wedding band, twisting it around her finger in an almost compulsive way. She struggled to control her wracking sobs as she sunk to the floor in the far corner of her Spencer's room. Her legs were unable to hold her any longer.

Ashley raised her eyes to her wife's terrifyingly still form and whispered, "Spencer you promised me forever and right now I am going to need to hold you to that. I need you, please we need you!"

After what felt like forever, but was actually a matter of seconds, Ashley rose unsteadily to her feet as the doctors worked around her still wife, trying to bring her back to them. Ashley leaned heavily against the wall, praying that her legs wouldn't give way again. She looked at the face of her lover, wife and best friend and whispered, "I could hold you forever and it still won't be enough, but please let our forever last longer than this."

Ashley was holding on by a thread and totally lost it when she heard one of the doctors murmur, "We should call it." Dr Gratis looks over at Ashley who, on hearing that, slumped back against the wall sobbing in the most heart wrenching of ways. The elderly doctor locked her steely gaze on her colleague and demanded that they keep trying.

They doctors and nurses worked frantically for a few heart stopping seconds, charging the defibrillator and shocking Spencer again before they all paused and looked at each other. Ashley stared dumbly at the mass of people in the room, wondering why the hell they were doing nothing. Why they were simply standing around her wife's unmoving body.

She took a step forward and met Dr. Gratis' eyes. The look of defeat, extreme sympathy and sadness made her stumble back into the wall hard and mutter, "No," as she shook her head. "No, No, No!" Ashley cried over and over as her arms came up to wrap around herself.

She looked at her wife, memorising the stillness of her face and then the constant beep of the heart monitor reached into her conscious. Ashley's breathing became frantic and then everything went black. The world as she knew it was over.

**I listened to Asleep by The Smiths as I wrote this, it is a hauntingly beautiful song and helped inspire some of what transpired.**

**I also assure you all I shed many a tear while writing this.**

**I know this seems grim but please read on to the last update.**


	31. Epilogue

**Well that's it, here is the very last update of Sorta Fairytale. I want to thank everyone for their encouragement and support while I have been writing this story. It has not been an easy one to tell. Many thanks.**

**Usual disclaimer – SoN is not nor has it ever been mine**

**Sorta Fairytale**

**Epilogue**

Ashley smiled softly to herself and leant against the railing surrounding the familiar gazebo, not a thing had changed since the last time she'd been there. She tucked a lose curl of chocolate brown hair behind her ear and ran her finger over the white gold wedding band on her left hand. Anytime she was deep in thought about the love of her life her fingers sought out that ring. It made her feel connected to her wife.

She could still picture the exact moment that Spencer had slid that ring onto her finger at their wedding. It had been the most magical of days.

_[Flashback]_

_Ashley took a deep breath and tried to keep her hands from shaking as she waited for her bride to make her appearance. At, the some would say too young, age of twenty-one Ashley Davies was about to marry her soul mate Spencer Carlin._

_Ashley looked out across the scene in front of her. Behind her was the ocean, calm and as deeply blue as the eyes of the woman she was minutes away from marrying. A wooden deck had been assembled on the sand, with a long walk way which was covered in white rose petals leading up to the alter._

_Behind the alter was a tall arch way made from weathered carved wood draped in panels of white silk. The minister stood in the centre, ready to join the two women in marriage. Ashley stood anxiously in her place with Kyla and Aiden beside her as her bride's attendants. Ashley had spent literally hours deciding on an outfit for the wedding. She had wanted to find an outfit that was different from her fiancé's (who would be wearing some kind of dress she'd been told) but not overly butch._

_In the end Ashley had settled on a pair of tailored black pants that hugged her legs perfectly, paired with a white silk shirt, that was unbuttoned enough to show the tops of her breasts encased in a black lacy bra. Over the shirt she had a lose black tie, she knew Spencer had a particular love of ties. She had dyed her hair, getting rid of the red and blonde streaks, so it fell in mahogany brown curls around her shoulders._

_There were about 100 guests all seated in white chairs resting in the sand along the raised wooden aisle that led to the alter. The guest most notably absent was Ashley's mother, Christine, who had declined the invitation as she had already booked herself a week at a spa in Nevada. Needless to say Ashley had been pretty hurt by that and was now determined that Christine would have no part of her life any more._

_Next to each row of seats was an arrangement of white lilies, Spencer's favourite flowers. Ben, a friend of Ashley's, sat off to the side of the deck with his acoustic guitar, a violin and cello player playing softly while they waited for Spencer to make her entrance._

_The music changed and the beautiful sounds of Sarah McLachlan's Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, being played and sung by the musicians, began to flow out across the beach. Ashley swallowed hard and turned her face to watch the place where her girl would soon appear._

_She felt Spencer's presence before she saw her as was often the case when her girl was in the vicinity. Glen and Chelsea began walking down the aisle arm in arm as the music played, reaching the alter as the first verse of the song echoed across the sand. _

_All the fear has left me now  
I'm not frightened anymore  
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh  
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath_

_And if I shed a tear I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it  
I won't fear love_

Ashley felt all the air leave her lungs as her fiancé began the walk down the aisle on her father's arm. Spencer looked more beautiful than she had ever seen her. The blonde was smiling radiantly as she held tightly to her father. Arthur was every inch the proud father as he walked beside his youngest child.

_Spencer was wearing a floor length ivory silk strapless dress, that left generous amounts of the smooth skin of her back and chest on display. The dress was gathered in at the waist and then flowed out so that is swished around her legs with each step. Her skin was glowing and perfectly tanned under the afternoon sun. Spencer's sun-kissed blonde hair hung in soft waves over her bare shoulders and she had a single white lily tucked behind her right ear._

_Ashley felt like she couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't do anything but watch her girl glide towards her. _

_Companion to our demons  
They will dance, and we will play  
With chairs, candles, and cloth  
Making darkness in the day  
It will be easy to look in or out  
Upstream or down without a thought_

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it  
I won't fear love  


_Spencer was closer now, close enough that Ashley could see her eyes shining with unshed tears of joy. Spencer's smile was breath-taking in its beauty and happiness. Ashley bit her lip and beamed adoringly at her soon to be wife. Their eyes were locked intensely on one another's, expressing silently all the things they were feeling._

_The people seated on that beach could all feel the overwhelming love that followed off the two women in waves. They all knew they were bearing witness to something truly special that day, a love that was as rare as it was pure and true._

_Spencer winked at her fiancé and mouthed, "I love you," as she neared the alter. Ashley was too overwhelmed to do anything but beam back._

_Peace in the struggle  
To find peace  
Comfort on the way  
To comfort_

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it  
I won't fear love  
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it  
I won't fear love  
I won't fear love  
I won't fear love...

_The song ended right as Spencer and Arthur reached the alter. Arthur lovingly passed Spencer's hand to Ashley and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the young brunette's cheek, "Love you Ash, I'm proud of you," He whispered before kissing Spencer's cheek and moving to take a seat beside his wife who was blubbering into a tissue._

_Ashley lovingly squeezed Spencer's hand and flashed her a blinding smile. Ocean blue eyes locked on chocolate brown with profound love flowing between them. All other people present on that beach melted away and all the two of them saw was each other. _

_People had told them they were too young, that they were crazy to get married at twenty-one, but Spencer and Ashley would just smile this secret little smile that was almost pitying of all the people who couldn't see what they had. Age had no bearing on the breadth of love between them. What they had was extraordinary._

_The minister began the ceremony with a warm smile on his face. Ashley and Spencer couldn't tear their gazes from one another. The ceremony passed by in a blur of words and loving glances and touches. They both cried through their vows and trembled as they slipped the stunning white gold bands onto each other's fingers. _

_Before they knew it the minister said proudly, "All who are present today have witnessed something truly remarkable, lover eternal in the joining of two hearts, two minds and two souls in marriage. It is with great honour, by the power vested in me that I now pronounce you married. Ashley you may kiss your bride."_

_Ashley needed no more encouragement. She tugged on the soft hand in hers, bringing her new wife into the circle of her arms. Spencer's eyes were shining with tears of happiness as she moved her hands to her wife's hips. Ashley beamed her nose-crinkling smile and reached up to cup Spencer's cheeks in her palms._

_Ashley breathed out, "I love you," before capturing her wife's lips in a kiss that was more than an action to seal their marriage. It was promise. Their lips dances sensually together as Spencer pulled Ashley closer, leaving not an inch of space between them. They kissed, complete unaware of the cheering and clapping of their family and friends. The only force on earth that could, and did, stop their first kiss as a married couple was a dire need for oxygen._

_They pulled back and rested their foreheads together, both breathing heavily. Spencer locked her eyes on her new wife's and smiled a sweet, tender smile that no one besides Ashley ever had bestowed on them._

_Ashley lightly stroked the smooth skin of her wife's cheek and whispered adoringly, "I love you Mrs. Carlin-Davies." _

_Spencer giggled and pecked her wife on the lips, "Wow does it feel good to be called that."_

_Ashley grinned and kissed her again, "Well I plan on you being called that for the rest of our lives so I'm glad you like it." _

_They kissed again and then hand in hand ran along the aisle both laughing and crying. As they reached the end of the aisle, Ashley stopped and spun her wife into her arms to kiss her again. She crushed Spencer's body against her own and hungrily took her lips in a fierce kiss. _

_Breaking apart to stare lovingly into each other's eyes they both smiled. They didn't need words, everything they needed to say was written in their eyes in a language only they could understand._

_[End Flashback]_

Ashley brought her attention back to the moment, smiling as she remember the day that Spencer Carlin had become her wife, and gazed out over the garden full of roses of every colour imaginable that were surrounding the gazebo she was in. She sighed in contentment as she breathed in the heady aroma of the roses, which was just as strong as they had been the very first time she'd been there so many years ago. This place held so many wonderful, heartfelt memories and it filled her with so much love and peace to be there again after many years had passed.

She heard footsteps approaching behind her, the soft tap of shoes on the wooden floor of the gazebo making her smile fondly. She knew those footsteps. The blonde came up beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Ashley smiled up into the familiar blue eyes and dropped a kiss on the blonde's cheek earning her a beaming smile and endearing head tilt.

"What are you doing out here all alone Ma?" Hannah asked softly, giving her mother's shoulder a squeeze as she held her close.

Ashley grinned up at her seventeen year old daughter, who was now a good few inches taller than her. The young blonde was still the image of her biological mother, a fact that made her brunette mother beyond happy. Hannah had grown up into a remarkable young woman. She was kind, compassionate and loving, while still having a fierce temper and strong sense of justice. In looks and personality she was every inch the daughter of Spencer Carlin.

At seventeen the oldest Davies child was about to enter her senior year of high school at good old King High and was already working towards a career as a writer. She had both her mothers' creative streaks, but instead of turning it to music or jumping behind a camera, Hannah wanted to become a writer and spent hours honing her craft. As a child she had wanted to become an actress but soon realised she'd rather write the story than act in it.

Ashley looked back out over the rose garden and felt her smile widen, "I'm just remembering Princess."

"Oh yeah? Are you thinking about Mom?" Hannah asked softly, turning her blue eyes to gaze out over the rose filled garden that held her mother's attention.

Ashley laughed softly and leaned into her daughter embrace, "Aren't I always kiddo?"

Hannah chuckled, truer words had never been spoken! "Yeah I suppose you are. This place is special isn't it?" The young blonde asked gently.

Ashley smiled fondly, her gaze seeming to be focused on something far away, a far away memory perhaps. She nodded and murmured softly, almost to herself, "Yes this place is very special. Your Mom and I came here to this winery for our tenth wedding anniversary. It was a magical night Han, perfect. Every day since the moment I met her I fall more and more in love with her, even now, but that night here under the stars I felt so much love for her I thought I would die from the intensity of it. She looked so beautiful, breath-taking. We had candles and these magical little fairy lights all around the gazebo and it looked like something out of a dream."

Hannah grinned at the loving way her mother told a story she had heard many times before. She held her mother close and let her continue her stroll down memory lane. "You look so much like your Mom, both of you are the most beautiful women I have ever seen. That night she had dressed so carefully, she wanted to impress me," Ashley chuckled and shook her head, "She never did seem to get the fact that she could wear a garbage bag and still be stunning to me." Hannah giggled and nodded her agreement.

"I felt so special knowing that such an amazing woman was mine and loved me. We ate the most delicious dinner and drank expensive wine. We talked and just enjoyed being together. I got to watch the way her eye twinkled in the candle light, the way they danced as she laughed and how they shone with love every time she locked those ocean eyes on me," Ashley paused as she became choked up.

Hannah blinked back her own tears. She knew that the love between her parents was rare, it was soul mate love. The type of love that spanned lifetimes and never truly ended. Her mothers' story was epic. She only hoped that one day she could find someone who loved her half as much as her mothers loved each other, then she would count herself lucky.

Ashley smiled tearfully up at her daughter let out a shaky breath, "After we'd eaten I pulled out a guitar and played that song I wrote for her, When I'm With You. Your Mom had tears in her eyes by the end and all I could think was how much I loved her and how inadequate that song was for expressing to her how huge my feelings for her had always been. I knew nothing about love until I met your Mom. She changed my life Han."

They stood in silence, each absorbing the words that had just crossed Ashley's lips. The sound of heavy foot steps alerted them to approaching company. They turned around to find Lucas striding towards them with a shy grin on his hansom face.

At fifteen years old Lucas was already almost as tall as his Uncle Aiden and much to everyone, but his over protective mother's, joy a varsity basketball player at King High. He had grown into a fine young man, with a calm personality much like his biological grandfather, but with a bite. He had definitely picked up Ashley's fierce temper and impatient nature. The plus side being that he had also picked up her intense protective side.

His big blue eyes, that were more blue-grey than his sisters', twinkled with mirth as he stepped up behind his mother and sister, wrapping an arm around each of the women. "So what you guys doing?" Lucas asked with a jovial grin.

"Nothing much kidlet, just getting the low down on why we got dragged here," Hannah said teasingly, nudging her mother playfully with her elbow.

"Watch it young lady or I'll cancel the weekend in San Francisco you begged us to take you to on the way home!" Ashley mockingly admonished.

"Sorry Ma, I'll be good!" Hannah said with a huge playful grin that was so like her blonde mother's. When she looked at her daughter, Ashley felt like she was seeing her wife as the teenager she first fell in love with. As she'd gotten older, Hannah's resemblance to Spencer had only gotten stronger.

Lucas planted a kiss on his mother's head and hugged her close. Ashley beamed up at her son and said, "Did you believe your sister then Luke?"

Lucas laughed and shook his head, "Nuh, not for a second Ma."

Hannah flashed her little brother a mock glare and stuck out her tongue. "Mature Han, aren't you supposed to be the big sister?" Lucas teased.

"Shut it Luke. Man are you lucky I love you little brother!" Hannah said with a smirk.

"True, lucky I love you too big sister!" Lucas beamed and looked around the garden, "This place is kinda nice Ma, it's peaceful. I bet Mom loved it when you brought her here."

"That she did," A warm, husky voice called from behind them. They all turned around to smile at Spencer as she strode towards them hand in hand with a little curly haired blonde, blue eyed girl and an elderly Golden Retriever ambling along at their side.

Oliver barked and trotted ahead of Spencer to get the pats he knew were coming from Lucas, who was the person he adored most after Spencer. Spencer chuckled and continued making her way towards her family with their youngest child, Olivia, who had just turned six.

Olivia had been conceived a year after Spencer has completed the last phase of chemo therapy and had at long last been given the all clear. She still had six monthly check ups to ensure that the cancer was truly gone, but was going strong and now seven years after treatment had ended she was still in complete remission.

That night at the hospital, the night Ashley was certain her wife had died was one of the worst moments of the brunette's life. It ranked right up there with the moment she found out her father had died in a car crash. She remembered collapsing to the floor and staring at the heart monitor and willing it to spike, flicker, anything to give her a sliver of hope that her wife would pull through.

Dr. Gratis had looked so sadly at her and whispered, "time of death" and before she could say the time Spencer's heart had started beating again. Faintly at first and then the beat became strong and steady. Spencer had remained unconscious for several days and then when she had awoken her fever had completely broken and the pneumonia was disappearing.

The weeks, months and years that followed were by no means easy, but after surviving that night hope was restored and Spencer's fight was renewed.

Spencer had completed the treatment over three years and was now totally cancer free and loving life as a stay at home mother, having retired from the film industry after she finished production on the film starring Sophia Bush and Rachel McAdams that had been put on hold when she was diagnosed. Spencer, Sophia and Rachel had all won Oscars for that film.

If you ask her though Spencer will tell you her proudest accomplishment is being a wife and mother.

Olivia, like her older siblings, was biologically Spencer's child. However, a surrogate (i.e. Kyla) had given birth. It was decided that Spencer should not risk the trauma to her still recovering body and Ashley was unable to carry a child to term due to the damage to her uterus from when she had miscarried as a teenager.

Kyla had been implanted with Spencer's eggs (which had been frozen right before she started chemo) and the sperm of an anonymous donor and eight months and three weeks later Olivia Anne Davies was born. Everyone had been very shocked that Kyla became pregnant on the first try, but took it as a sign that this was meant to be.

Olivia dropped her blonde mother's hand and bolted after Oliver, stopping briefly to get a swift kiss from her brunette mother before joining her older siblings.

Ashley stepped away from their children and quickly made her way to her wife, reaching her side just as she stepped into the gazebo. Ashley beamed her nose crinkling smile at her stunningly beautiful wife before taking Spencer in her arms and kissing her lovingly on the lips.

Ashley broke the kiss to whisper breathlessly, "Happy twentieth wedding anniversary my love. I promised you I would bring you back here for this one and ten years later I kept my promise."

Spencer laughed and kissed her wife once again, "Ah yes Sweetheart that you did. God I love you so much Ashley Davies."

"And I love you Spencer Carlin-Davies. I have been one lucky woman to get to spend the last twenty years as your wife," Ashley murmured, her lips resting against the shell of her wife's ear.

Spencer pulled Ashley against her and held her close. Both women closed their eyes and savoured the feeling of having the other in their arms. Nine and a bit years ago both were pretty much certain that they would never reach this milestone, but against all odds there they were. Three years of treatments and tests, fears, hopes, prayers and moments of almost giving up and they had made it through.

They held tightly to each other until the sound of girly giggles caught their attention. Spencer stepped out of her wife's arms, still holding tight to her hand, and walked over to her three children. Smiling fondly Spencer gently scolded, "Livy please don't pull on Oliver's ears, he's an old man now and he doesn't like it."

Olivia blushed and bowed her head, "Sorry Mommy," the little girl leaned down and kissed Oliver on the top of his shaggy head and said, "Sorry Ollie." Spencer beamed at her little girl and took a seat on one of the benches inside the gazebo.

She gazed out over the rose garden, her beautiful face serene as she took in the view that had been part of her fondest memories for the past ten years. Ashley stood beside her three blonde children and watched her wife, who in her opinion looked like an angel.

Time had only made Spencer Carlin-Davies more beautiful. At forty-one years old Spencer looked flawless. Her eyes were still clear and ocean blue, more often than not shining with mirth and love. Her hair was a luminous gold, which she now wore fairly short, it falling to rest just above her collar bone. The blonde was slightly darker than it had been when she was younger, highlighted with subtle light browns.

It had taken a long time but she had regained the curves she had lost during her cancer battle. She was now toned, with sensual curves that still drove her wife crazy. Ashley was still awe that this magnificent woman was hers.

She felt so much love for her wife and felt so very blessed that the woman before her was still around to share her life. The day she had found out her wife had cancer, Ashley had felt like dying herself. The months and years that followed that moment were tough, heart wrenching times where she had to remind herself to have hope again and again. There were many times where she had been certain that she would lose her soul mate. Not a day went by that she didn't thank God for keeping her wife with her.

Hannah scooped up her little sister in her arms and whistled to Oliver who scrambled to his feet. She kissed Ashley on the cheek and said softly, "Ma, I'm gonna take these guys to the guest house and make them a snack, give you some time with Mom."

Ashley smiled gratefully and kissed both her daughters on their cheeks before pulling her tall son into her arms. Lucas hugged her back and then walked over to kiss his blonde mother on the cheek, earning him a warm smile. Hannah followed Lucas and kissed Spencer on the forehead, holding Olivia so she could plant a sloppy kiss on her Mommy's cheek.

Spencer chuckled and beamed at her kids, giving Oliver a loving pat on the head, before they all wandered off to the guest house Ashley had booked them for the weekend.

Spencer moved her big blue eyes to meet her wife's warm brown ones. Ashley let out a sigh of happiness and crossed the floor of the gazebo to take a seat beside the blonde. Spencer leaned over and rested her cheek against her wife's shoulder, placing a few gentle kisses against the smooth skin of her neck.

Ashley grinned and wrapped her arm around her wife's slender waist. Ashley rested her head against her wife's and just held her. Both of them had content little smiles on their faces as they snuggled closer together on the narrow bench under the gazebo.

Spencer chuckled softly under her breath, causing Ashley to look down at her with a confused little smile on her lips, "What are you laughing at my darling?"

"Well I was just thinking about everything we've been through over the last twenty-four years. What a life we've had Sweetheart! So much love, joy, passion and so many memories. Each and everyday of our lives together I have fallen more and more in love with you, even when I was sure it wasn't possible to love you anymore. You are the love of my life Ashley Davies," Spencer murmured lovingly as Ashley's fingers began to trail through her silky blonde hair.

Ashley beamed and held her wife close while her fingers ran through the soft tresses of her wife's hair. She kissed the hair under her fingers and whispered, "You are my soul mate, wife, partner, lover and friend and we have shared a wonderful life together. Our wonderful family is my proudest accomplishment and I am grateful for every moment I have spent by your side. I can't wait for the next twenty years."

Spencer sat up and pulled her wife against her so she could kiss her hungrily. Twenty years of marriage, three children and a terminal illness hadn't dimmed the passion between them, it was pretty safe to say nothing ever would. Spencer moved to straddle her wife's lap, very glad her children were far away and unlikely to witness this. She wouldn't want to scar them for life!

Ashley moaned into her wife's mouth and deepened the kiss, her hands holding her wife close. Spencer smirked against her wife's lips and tangled her fingers in the long, wild curls she had always loved so much.

They kissed until they both had to break apart to breathe. Ashley tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her wife's ear and stroked her cheek softly, "So do you remember the gift I gave you the first time we were hear?"

Spencer pretended to think for a moments and then said with a devilish smirk, "Um multiple orgasms?"

Ashley's mouth dropped open and then they both started laughing, "Well besides that do you remember what else I gave you?"

Spencer's smile became tender as she murmured, "Well if memory serves my love, I believe you wrote a song for me."

Ashley grinned and nodded, "Yep I did and in keeping with tradition I have written another one for you now." Ashley kissed her wife on the forehead and stood up beside her. She walked over to the same table she had hidden her guitar under all those years ago and pulled out a CD player. Smiling sweetly she said, "I was going to play it live, but then I realised that while you hear this song I want to have you in my arms so instead I've recorded it."

Ashley hit play and stepped closer to her wife holding out her hand, "Mrs. Carlin-Davies, would you please do me the honour of dancing with me?"

Spencer lowered her lashes and gazed up at Ashley. She grinned almost shyly and took the offered hand. Ashley pulled her close so that there was no space between their bodies and wrapped her arms around her wife's waist. Spencer looped her arms around her wife's neck and rested her cheek on her shoulder as Ashley swayed them to the music. Her eyes were closed gently as she savoured the moment.

Ashley moved her lips to rest against her wife's ear and began to sing softly along with her own recorded voice,

"Baby I've been searching like everybody else  
Can't say nothing different about myself  
Sometimes I'm an angel  
And sometimes I'm cruel  
And when it comes to love  
I'm just another fool

Yes, I'll climb a mountain  
I'm gonna swim the sea  
There ain't no act of God girl  
Could keep you safe from me  
My arms are reaching out  
Out across this canyon

I'm asking you to be my true companion  
True companion  
True companion

So don't you dare and try to walk away  
I had my heart set on our wedding day  
I've got this vision of a girl in white  
Made my decision that it's you alright

And when I took your hand  
I watched my heart set sail  
I took my trembling fingers  
And I lifted up your veil  
Then I took you home  
And with wild abandon

Made love to you just like a true companion  
You are my true companion  
I got a true companion  
True companion

When the years have done irreparable harm  
I can see us walking slowly arm in arm  
Just like the couple on the corner do  
'Cause girl I will always be in love with you

And when I look in your eyes  
I still see that spark  
Until the shadows fall  
Until the room grows dark  
Then when I leave this Earth  
I'll be with the angels standin'

I'll be out there waiting for my true companion  
Just for my true companion  
True companion  
True companion"

Ashley let the last note fade away and then leaned into kiss her wife lovingly on her sensual lips. Spencer tightened her hold on her wife and kissed her back with an intensity that had never dimmed over the years they had spent together.

Ashley broke the kiss to look into the blue eyes that had mesmerised her since the very first time she had seen them when they were 16 years old. She beamed her nose crinkling smile and reached up to tuck some lose strands of dark blonde hair behind her wife's ear.

Spencer grinned and gazed coyly at her beautiful wife. She sent a silent prayer of thanks to whatever high power there was for giving her the last twenty odd years with the love of her life. Spencer tilted her head, her expression softening to one of pure adoration, "It has been a hell of a ride Ash, it was by no means perfect but I think we had our own version of a fairytale."

"Ah yes, our little sorta fairytale, complete with a happy ending," Ashley murmured with a tender grin for her wife.

They held each other's gaze and communicated in that beautiful, silent way that soul mates so effortlessly seem to be able to do. They didn't need words, their eyes and touch said everything that needed to be said.

Spencer bit her lip and reached up to run her thumb across her wife's full bottom lip. Ashley caught the digit in her teeth and then placed a cheeky little kiss on it. Spencer giggled and reached down to take her wife's hand in her own.

They strolled hand in hand out into the rose garden, laughing, talking softly and shooting each other shy, loving glances just as they had done when they were teenagers falling in love for the first time.

It had been an amazing journey full of love and joy regardless of the pain and trials they had faced. Maybe true love really does conquer all.

**Song used in this chapter**

**Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Sarah MacLauchlan**

**True Companion by Marc Cohen (lyrics altered slightly to better fit the story)**

**And that, my friends, is the end. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.**


End file.
